Talk:United States Senate Committee on Pensions
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[edit]What is currently written in the article is written well. The sections are logical and the content is relevant to each section. Not much to comment on considering amount written. Overall, the article just needs to be expanded on with more information.
Teeconway11 (talk) 16:06, 24 October 2018 (UTC)
I think every single sentence has issues with commas. In most cases, they are either completely unnecessary or should be replaced with a period in order to create two sentences (among some other structural changes).
For example,
The Committee on Pensions was a standing committee of the United States Senate from 1816 to 1946, when the Legislative Reorganization Act of 1946 abolished it, moving its functions to the Committee on Finance.
Should be
The Committee on Pensions was a standing committee of the United States Senate formed in 1816. It was later abolished by the Legislative Reorganization Act of 1946 and had its functions moved to the Senate Committee on Finance.
Continuing on,
Although the Committee was involved in the passage of some broad pension bills, under which individuals could apply to executive agencies for relief, it also handled thousands of private requests from specific individuals petitioning for special consideration. At this time, pensions were entirely considered in the context of military veterans, widows, and orphans, and were strictly intended to alleviate poverty.
Should be
The Committee was involved in the passage of broad pension bills under which individuals could apply to executive agencies for relief. It also handled thousands of private requests from specific individuals petitioning for special considerations. During this time, pensions were strictly intended to alleviate poverty and only applicable to military veterans, widows, and orphans.
This
Until 1789, pension payments were entirely handled by the States, as the federal government had no means to pay for them at the time, though many federal laws on pensions were passed for states to implement.
Should be,
Before 1789, pension payments were entirely handled by individual states due to lack of funding from the federal government. Regardless, many federal laws on pensions were passed for states to implement.
And so forth, just be careful with those commas.
As for other suggestions, maybe you could trim down the list of members, and, rather than calling it incomplete, maybe just make it a "Notable Members" section along with a sentence or two for each indicating why they were important. One last thing, I think you could probably hyperlink to other articles slightly more often.