Talk:Verena Tunnicliffe
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There is an error message in the sidebar about an image possibly? Sa09 (talk) 20:04, 10 October 2017 (UTC)
Under Career, you could add the wiki pages for Submersibles https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Submersible and for ROPOS https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ROPOS Jessapf (talk) 20:30, 10 October 2017 (UTC)
Need a period after "address your own happiness and health" under Personal Life Jessapf (talk) 20:32, 10 October 2017 (UTC)
Under personal life before the word "due" is there supposed to be a comma? The sentence is a bit confusing and may need rephrasing. Alex 1498 (talk) 01:38, 18 October 2017 (UTC)
Keep the information but get rid of the invalid links (colored red) in the boxes. Alex 1498 (talk) 01:41, 18 October 2017 (UTC)
You might mention a birth date or year, and also a birth city. Kathvand (talk) 16:21, 18 October 2017 (UTC)
The early life section sounds a bit subjective, especially the sentence "A small wooden box encrusted with seashells, brought back to her from Florida was all it took to begin a lifelong obsession with the sea." Additionally, add a bit more about her education, rather than things she did in her scientific career in the early life section. Possibly, you could add the first paragraph of the personal life section to the early life section, because it talks about influences her father had on her wanting to become a scientist. Kathvand (talk) 16:21, 18 October 2017 (UTC)
In the career section, add the years that she has been a professor at that school, rather than saying that she's been a professor "for years". Kathvand (talk) 16:21, 18 October 2017 (UTC)
In the section about her personal life, there are commas separating an explanation as to why her father didn't employ women. This kind of breaks it up awkwardly -- maybe remove those? M-felton (talk) 02:27, 19 October 2017 (UTC)
Peer review
[edit]The early 80’s proved fruitful for the young doctor. Intending only to do a little research, Dr. Tunnicliffe instead became the first woman on the West Coast to lead deep-sea research expeditions from Vancouver Island. She only meant to stay in British Columbia for two years, but by 1983 Dr. Tunnicliffe helped to discover hydrothermal vent systems off the coast, explored previously unknown sections of the deep sea, and was part of the discovery of over 80 new marine species.[2]
The last sentence is kind of confusing when you talk about how she explored previously unknown section of the deep sea. Maybe try to make the sentence shorter by dividing it into two different sentences.
She only meant to stay in British Columbia for two years, but by 1983 Dr. Tunnicliffe helped to discover hydrothermal vent systems off the coast. She explored previously unknown sections of the deep sea, and was part of the discovery of over 80 new marine species.[2]
Emmarfren (talk) 15:03, 18 October 2017 (UTC) Emma French
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