Template:Did you know nominations/Byrd Spilman Dewey

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by PFHLai (talk) 15:56, 29 September 2013 (UTC)

Byrd Spilman Dewey

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~~... that Nathan Boynton was considered founder of Boynton Beach, Florida until a 2012 discovery showed American author Byrd S. Dewey and her husband were the true founders?~~

Comment: I doubt if it is possible but since the town's founding occurred September 26, 1898, September 26th would be an ideal date to run the hook.
Reviewed: H. Hugh Fudenberg

Created by Flahistory (talk). Nominated by John Cline (talk) at 04:55, 5 September 2013 (UTC).

Firstly, nice work @Flahistory:, especially for a first article. Hope there will be many more.

Article Review: Article is long enough and new enough; included image are PD; didn't find any content issues (only spot-checked references). (A few MOS suggestions: use citation templates to format references consistently; avoid bare URLs; combine refs 16 and 21, which differ only in date of access. Also at some point it would be useful to add content from the book Pioneering Palm Beach: The Deweys and the South Florida Frontier. Also the history section of Boynton Beach, Florida needs to be updated. But none of these suggestions are DYK stoppers.)

Hook: The hook checks out with two quibbles:

Change "considered founder" -> "considered the founder"
2012 is the years the book was published and the discovery announced to the press; not sure that is the year of discovery.

That said, I'd suggest a alternate hook that is less informative than the one above, but IMO is "short, punchy, catchy, and likely to draw the readers in to wanting to read the article"

Abecedare (talk) 20:25, 26 September 2013 (UTC)

ALT 1: ~~... that it was recently found that Byrd S. Dewey, not Boynton, found Boynton?~~

I agree on all points; particularly that Flahistory was quite remarkable as a new account. I did combine the identical references and modify the article's prose which erroneously linked the discovery with the year of the book's publication. I appreciate that an alternate hook is desirable and suggest ALT 2. I will visit Boynton Beach, Florida to update that article as well. Thank you Abecedare for your time and diligence given to review this nomination and for the helpful suggestions leading to improvements of the article.—John Cline (talk) 18:03, 27 September 2013 (UTC)

ALT 2: ~~... that Byrd S. Dewey founded Boynton Beach, Florida, not Nathan Boynton who was erroneously credited?~~

Grammar issue: Alt 2's sentence structure ("A founded X, not Y") could imply that Dewey did not found Nathan Boyd (!). How about Alt 3 below in which I have further added "up to last year" to emphasize the recency of the change (feel free to tweak):
I think ALT 3 is fine in its present form. I have stricken all previous suggestions in its favor.—John Cline (talk) 22:36, 27 September 2013 (UTC)

ALT 3: ... that Boynton Beach, Florida, was founded by Byrd S. Dewey, not Nathan Boynton, who was erroneously credited up to last year?
- Good to go. Abecedare (talk) 22:55, 27 September 2013 (UTC)

It is indeed a very interesting article, but there are a few issues that need to be fixed to meet DYK standards. First, there are a couple of paragraphs that are completely without inline cites: the first paragraph in the Move to Florida section, and the fourth in the Writing career section. In addition, I think the statement in the Death section that the case went all the way to the Florida Supreme Court should be cited. And second, DYKs are not allowed to have bare URLs for references, and this has two. Please fill out the citations there. Thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 00:32, 28 September 2013 (UTC)
Thank you BlueMoonset. I believe I have addressed the shortcomings you identified. I look forward to knowing if there are matters which remain.—John Cline (talk) 07:01, 28 September 2013 (UTC)

Thanks for fixing those issues. Restoring approval now that article meets DYK standards; I also did some minor copyediting to the article, and added appropriate commas to the ALT3 hook while removing the incorrect italics for the town. BlueMoonset (talk) 22:04, 28 September 2013 (UTC)