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Gnc-centric is a lesbian womon who goes by Ben. She is dysphoric womon who began to identify as a trans guy in the summer of 2009. She became very involved with all the LGBT+ organizations and clubs she could find in her city, she sought out liberal feminists mostly on twitter. She came out at school and to a few family members around her 16th birthday and started going by Ben and he/him pronouns. She became involved in gender critical theory and later second wave feminism starting in October 2014 and began to distance herself from the Queer Community, now realizing how little they respected her and how unhealthy it had been for her. She eventually made a tumblr account, hearing that there were other gender critical trans people there, as well detrasnitioned ones. During all her time in the queer community, she wanted to be pansexual but realized she really had no clue about her sexuality, not feeling particularly attracted to anyone. She detransitioned online in June 2016 and then socially in September 2016. After she had learned to better accept herself as female (while still identifying as trans), she began to feel less repulsed by the idea of herself being attracted to women and labeled herself as bisexual. In August 2016, after her detransition, she was somewhat confident that she was exclusively same sex attracted and in an effort to unpack some compulsory heterosexuality, changed the label on social media accounts to "lesbian". Within the month, she was sure she had made the right decision and began attempting to understand compulsory heterosexuality everywhere in her life. Ben started Suzuki Violin at the age of 5. After learning several other instruments, she honed in on viola at 13, studying it exclusively by the age of 16. She started her her undergraduate degree in viola in September of 2016, at the age of 20.
She created her first tumblr at the age of 14, trying to discover what it really meant to be trans. She soon abandoned that in favour of twitter where she felt she could interact more directly with people. She first created a separate twitter account after being attacked on her regular twitter account for allowing a TERF allied gay man to follow her. Through this new account, she began speaking to radical feminist womyn, gender critical gay man and gender critical male-to-trans people. At first she was trying to understand what it means to be gender critical and why exactly the Queer Community was so afraid of them, but gradually started inquiring about all their beliefs. She found that she largely understood the logic of their beliefs and was much more comfortable with their real life implications than those of queer theory.
In an attempt to find other gender critical trans people and with the encouragement of her closest dysphoric detransitioned lesbian feminist friend, she created a tumblr. The original intent of the blog, @fuckyourgenderID, was to post quotes by Andrea Dworkin and posts expanding on what she was reading at the time. After reading Dworkin's Pornography for 2 weeks she became to emotionally exshausted, she realized this was an impossible task. Over the next few weeks she began reblogging less and less formal and accademic content, until her blog was as much memes and cute cats as feminist rhetoric. She did however make several posts about her experiences as a female in the trans community and her experiences with dysphoria. Almost a year later, she thought an old trans friend of hers who had always been strongly into queer theory had found her tumblr, so she changed her URL to @transcynical. She contemplated really trying to educate this person, but realized she wasn't prepared to shepherd this young soul through the trials of thinking outside queer theory for the first time as a trans person. Her original fear of being doxxed by this person and forced to abandon her current support system of sympathetic women was also still very real. By this time she had really accepted the fact that the trans community had no place for her authentic self at the time, a trans guy who was not in denial of being female and who didn't believe in the cis/trans dichotomy, so the new URL was fitting. Though only going on twitter for large social media events or breaking live news, she changer her twitter handle to match.
With this new acceptance of her femalehood, she began to realize her aversion to being attracted to females was rooted in the fact that male sexuality towards women is inherently violent, and she wasn't capable of being that person. As she gradually saw herself more as a female, she was less and less afraid of her attraction to women. By June 2016 she realized she could live comfortably as a womon and decided to detransition. Within the next week her new URL was devised, @gnc-centric. She really identified as this one since she now saw herself as a gender non conforming womon, wanting to help dysphoric people understand that they had this option ad that womyn do not need to perform femininity. She currently uses her blog for the usual jumble of second wave feminism, activism, political thoughts, memes, cats and attempting to unpack compulsory heterosexuality in her life, as well as reaching out to trans dysphoric people interested in learning about gender critical theory.
Sexuality, Gender Identity and Dysphoria
[edit]Although Ben has detransitioned, she does not see her transition as a mistake. To her, it was what she needed to survive at the time and through her transition and detransition, she learned how to be her authentic self and that she was capable of the love she now has with her chosen family.
Growing up, Ben didn't really realize or understand that she was being abused; things had always been this way. Through tweeting about violence and her reactions, the reactions of her followers really helped open her eyes.
Mental Illness and Physical Health
[edit]Ben was diagnosed as depressed and put on antidepressants at 13. Her mother got her the pills and never took her back to the psychiatrist.
Ben started Suzuki Violin at the age of 5. After learning several other instruments, she honed in on viola at 13, studying it exclusively by the age of 16. She started her her undergraduate degree in viola in September of 2016 at a small Canadian university, at the age of 20.
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