User:TrademarkedTWOrantula/Article improvement is a lot like taking care of your dog

This is an essay.

It contains the advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors. This page is not an encyclopedia article, nor is it one of Wikipedia's policies or guidelines, as it has not been thoroughly vetted by the community. Some essays represent widespread norms; others only represent minority viewpoints.

This page in a nutshell: A metaphor between taking care of a dog and improving articles on Wikipedia.

This essay is well-intentioned and meant to sound informal and choppy. If this essay's message is somewhat confusing, blame my groggy, midnight-soaked, common cold-infected brain for that.

Now, now, wait. Hear me out...

The beginning

So you go to your local dog shelter, 'cause you're like lonely, or wanna do something good for the world, or whatever, and you pick one that's like, uh, I don't know, starving. You get the dog, and you're like, "Wow, little dude. You need help. I'm gonna put all my heart and soul into you!"

Working

You spend the next undetermined units of time brushing your dog's hair, cleaning its teeth, filing its nails, giving it one (or two) baths, doing other boring stuff, and feeding it quality dog food (probably just carrots, unfortunately, 'cause you're most likely broke, sorry). After a while, you're gonna be like, "Hooooolly cow, man. I can't believe I just did all of that. That's awesome. That's cool. I am cool."

Uh oh. Suddenly, your dog is shaking uncontrollably, and you have zero idea why... you take it to the vet and they give you a bunch of cool information that definitely helps. Hooray! You're saved, and so is your dog.

Now what?

Because you're feeling sooooooo confident, you decide to take your dog to your city's dog show (or the closest one you have, I dunno where most of them are), 'cause you're like that.