User talk:Hetorito3
| This user is a student editor in Massachusetts_Institute_of_Technology_/Workshop_in_Written_Expression__(Fall_2018) . |
Social determinants of health
[edit]Dear writers,
The article: "Social determinants of health" Social_determinants_of_health has some minor mistakes that after being solved, would improve your article greatly.
First, the article is too long and don't get to the point. After reading all the article, you don't get a clear idea of what the Social determinants of health actually are. I would suggest opening with a good definition such as: "Social determinants of health are conditions in the environments in which people are born, live, learn, work, play, worship, and age that affect a wide range of health, functioning, and quality-of-life outcomes and risks. Conditions (e.g., social, economic, and physical) in these various environments and settings (e.g., school, church, workplace, and neighborhood) have been referred to as “place.”1 Then proceed with each paragraph having a lead statement and the rest of the phrases supporting that statement.
Second, the sections you have are disorganized. I would suggest having a clear idea of the point you want to make (being fair and unbias) then write with that in mind. Every section should support or add something new. For example, to conclude the article talking about power doesn't make much sense, maybe that was the most important single thing to write since the beginning given the nature of your topic.
References: The Institute of Medicine. Disparities in Health Care: Methods for Studying the Effects of Race, Ethnicity, and SES on Access, Use, and Quality of Health Care, 2002.
Hetorito3 (talk) 15:55, 15 October 2018 (UTC)
Social determinants of health
[edit]Dear writers,
The article: "Social determinants of health" Social_determinants_of_health has some minor mistakes that after being solved, would improve your article greatly.
First, the article is too long and don't get to the point. After reading all the article, you don't get a clear idea of what the Social determinants of health actually are. I would suggest opening with a good definition such as: "Social determinants of health are conditions in the environments in which people are born, live, learn, work, play, worship, and age that affect a wide range of health, functioning, and quality-of-life outcomes and risks. Conditions (e.g., social, economic, and physical) in these various environments and settings (e.g., school, church, workplace, and neighborhood) have been referred to as “place.”1 Then proceed with each paragraph having a lead statement and the rest of the phrases supporting that statement.
Second, the sections you have are disorganized. I would suggest having a clear idea of the point you want to make (being fair and unbias) then write with that in mind. Every section should support or add something new. For example, to conclude the article talking about power doesn't make much sense, maybe that was the most important single thing to write since the beginning given the nature of your topic.
HC (talk) 18:28, 24 October 2018 (UTC)
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Hetorito3, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:38, 15 November 2018 (UTC)
Response
[edit]Hi! I saw that you needed help with citations, but didn't specify what type of help you needed. It looks like Ian (Wiki Ed) is the Expert for your class, so I'm tagging him so he can help you. Offhand though, if you're concerned over how to create a citation, this training module covers that. If you're curious as to what types of sources to use, there's this module. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:28, 29 November 2018 (UTC)
Your submission at Articles for creation: sandbox (December 12)
[edit]
- If you would like to continue working on the submission, go to User:Hetorito3/sandbox and click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
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Hello, Hetorito3!
Having an article declined at Articles for Creation can be disappointing. If you are wondering why your article submission was declined, please post a question at the Articles for creation help desk. If you have any other questions about your editing experience, we'd love to help you at the Teahouse, a friendly space on Wikipedia where experienced editors lend a hand to help new editors like yourself! See you there! -Liancetalk/contribs 18:34, 12 December 2018 (UTC)
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Your submission at Articles for creation: sandbox (December 13)
[edit]- If you would like to continue working on the submission, go to User:Hetorito3/sandbox and click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
- If you now believe the draft cannot meet Wikipedia's standards or do not wish to progress it further, you may request deletion. Please go to User:Hetorito3/sandbox, click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window, add "{{db-self}}" at the top of the draft text and click the blue "publish changes" button to save this edit.
- If you need any assistance, you can ask for help at the Articles for creation help desk or on the reviewer's talk page.
- You can also use Wikipedia's real-time chat help from experienced editors.
Draft:Ana Sofía Gonzalez concern
[edit]Hi there, I'm HasteurBot. I just wanted to let you know that Draft:Ana Sofía Gonzalez, a page you created, has not been edited in 5 months. The Articles for Creation space is not an indefinite storage location for content that is not appropriate for articlespace.
If your submission is not edited soon, it could be nominated for deletion. If you would like to attempt to save it, you will need to improve it.
You may request Userfication of the content if it meets requirements.
If the deletion has already occured, instructions on how you may be able to retrieve it are available at WP:REFUND/G13.
Thank you for your attention. HasteurBot (talk) 01:23, 12 March 2020 (UTC)
Your draft article, Draft:Ana Sofía Gonzalez
[edit]
Hello, Hetorito3. It has been over six months since you last edited the Articles for Creation submission or Draft page you started, "Ana Sofía Gonzalez".
In accordance with our policy that Wikipedia is not for the indefinite hosting of material deemed unsuitable for the encyclopedia mainspace, the draft has been nominated for deletion. If you plan on working on it further, or editing it to address the issues raised if it was declined, simply and remove the {{db-afc}}, {{db-draft}}, or {{db-g13}} code.
If your submission has already been deleted by the time you get there, and you wish to retrieve it, you can request its undeletion by following the instructions at this link. An administrator will, in most cases, restore the submission so you can continue to work on it.
Thank you for your submission to Wikipedia! JMHamo (talk) 20:17, 30 March 2020 (UTC)
- ^ The Institute of Medicine. Disparities in Health Care: Methods for Studying the Effects of Race, Ethnicity, and SES on Access, Use, and Quality of Health Care, 2002.