User talk:Mannalem/Chamaelirium
Your submission at Articles for creation
[edit]
- If you would like to continue working on the submission, you can find it at Wikipedia talk:Articles for creation/Chamaelirium.
- To edit the submission, click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
- If you need any assistance, you can ask for help at the Articles for creation help desk, or on the . Please remember to link to the submission!
- You can also get live chat help from experienced editors.
- Thank you for your contributions to Wikipedia! MatthewVanitas (talk) 02:25, 10 October 2012 (UTC)
Review by Marciume (Attilio Rizzoli)
[edit]General remarks
-contents: Maintenance not Maintenace
-Ongoing mixture of singular and plural
Introduction
'Chamaelirium is a genus of flowering
-->extra ''
""'Chamaelirium is a genus of flowering plants containing the single species Chamaelirium luteum, commonly known as Blazing-Star, Devil's Bit, False Unicorn, Fairy Wand, and Helonias root . It is a perennial herb native to the eastern United States. It can be found in a variety of habitats, including wet meadows and deciduous woodlands.""
-->all in italic!!! -->Chamaelirium luteum must be in italic -->Chamaelirium (first word) Blazing-Star, Devil's Bit, False Unicorn, Fairy Wand and Helonias root must be bold
"It can be used as a medical plant."
-->since this is your only addition to the introduction, I'd have used a different formulation or at least a connector.
Distribution
Chamaelirium luteum can be found in temperate North America, USA and Canada. It occurs in the east of the Mississippi and it is historically known (to be/to come/ to have originated/...) from southern Ontario. [2]
-->add inner-links also for USA, Canada and Ontario if you do for North America -->Missisippi (capital M) -->(to be/to come/to have originated/...) from southern Ontario.
Etymology
The etymology of Chamaelirium luteum comes from the Greek and means: Chamai = "on the ground", leirion = "lilly", lutes = "gelb""
-->Chamaelirium luteum-->italic! -->What does "gelb" mean in English? Add translation to English, not German -->Add inner-link for "etymology"
Cultivation
Because Chamaelirium luteum is normally collected from the wild, (it is) at risk to become extinct. Cultivation techniques are (still) under development to satisfy the demand from the market.
-->Is there actually a market demand for this plant?
"(pH: 4.5 - 6)"
-->Not sure if appropriate
"In open fields they should be shaded by a shading structure, to protect them from the direct radiation of the sun. For forest cultivation they should be preferably planted in a area whit tall hardwood trees."
-->Use singular as in previous sentence
Planting
"They can be propagated through seeds or root division."
-->I'd use the scientific name or a common name as subject and not "they"
"This disc-shaped pieces"
"(To) support the plants with nutrients, mulch in for of (???) pine needles, rotted conifer-derived sawdust or bark mulch should be added to the top soil." ???
-->Messed up sentence, hard to understand.
"For propagating through seeds, the seeds should be sown in late Fall or early Winter…"
-->Seasons-->capital letter: Fall, Winter
-->General remark for whole "Cultivation" section: add more inner-links: e.g. "acidic soil", "drained", "pH", "humus", "rhizomes", "seeds", etc.
"The plants grow() best in soil mixture of peat moss and decomposed pine needles."
-->singular or plural: The plants grow / the plant grows
"When the young plant emerges (it) should be left in undisturbed at least for one growing season. Then th(e)y can be transplanted in well prepared growing bed with a high organic matter in a planting distance of 6-10 inch (15-25cm)."
-->Instead of the last sentence, I would say : "Then th(e)y/it can be transplanted as for the propagation method through root division". You actually used the same sentence twice.
"The plant should be moist and shaded and protect(ed) from herbivory by (s)nails and slugs or deer in woods. Weeds should alway(s) be removed."
Harvesting
The plants are ready (for) harvest after a growing time of six years. Only the rhizomes are used as crop. Collecting them occurs by digging the rhizome with a garden fork or a small dinging tool. This should be done in (F)all after collecting the mature seeds. After removing the soil and (the) roots from other plants, the rhizomes should be stored unwashed until the further processing. The(y) should be prevented from drying out (or off???) and also from to high moisture which could lead to mold infestation. Before processing(,) the rhizomes should be washed carefully.
Processing
"1. Step: Drying Drying (???) the clean roots in warm places with adequate airflow. (It works best with a drying unite or dehydrator.) (??? why ??? also no full stop(.)) The drying process should be conduct(ed) carefully. The roots should be dried on the first day with low temperature of 70°F (20°C) and high air flow. Then they can be dried throughly with a higher temperature up to 100°F (35°C).[4] Once they are (completely) dry, they can be stored in cool, dark and dry location for up to three years. 2. Milling the dried roots with a mill or by kitchen blender."
-->messed up section. You just have 2 steps; why don't you embed all in the text? Otherwise make more clear sections:
1. Step
blablabla
2. Step
blablabla
Uses
C. luteum (italic!!!) is used as ornamental or medical herb. Historically it has been used by the (N)atives of (A)merica."
"It has (the) reputation (to have been one of the) most (widely) used herbs in (N)orth (A)merica."
"It was traditionally (no "be") used to prevent miscarriages and it has the reputation of improving fertility. [7] Nowadays it (is) used to treat different problems (as m)enstrual problems, pregnancy complaints, fertility issues, ovarian cysts and as diuretic)" -->Improve the last sentence! It is difficult to understand how you wanted to structure it.
-->delete one paragraph break before "Bioactive components"
Bioactive Components
The bioactive components (are) a mixture of steroidal saponins, including chameliring (right name? I googled it but I found only an mp3 to download…) and aglycone diosgenin. These bioactive substances acts as an emmenagogue, diuretic and emetic.[5]
After "References"
[[[Category:Flora of the Eastern United States]]]
-->adjust
Images
"Inflorescence, as flowers are just beginning to open." -->punctuation marks: full stop
Second image-->no caption
Marciume (talk) 15:06, 19 November 2012 (UTC)
Review by Siebemat
[edit]Really a good improvement of the article! some gramatical errors but thats easy to correct ;)
In general
- as mentioned by Marciume changes between singular and plural and an abusive use of the word should
- maybe more links to other wikipedia articles
Introduction
- (') too much in front of Chamaelirium
- It can be used as a medical plant. This sentence fits not really. ---> rewrite
- why is everything in italic?
Contents
- 3.3: "n" missing in Maintenance
- 4.1: capital "c" in Components
Distribution
- "can be found" and "occurs" doesn't sound very scientific. (originates from,...)
- Mississippi: capital M
- "...east of the Mississippi and is..." without "it"
Etymology
- ...,lutes = "yellow"... not "gelb" (German)
Cultivation
- Because Chamaelirium luteum is normally... sounds somewhat rough ---> rewrite (e.g. ...is normally collected wild and is therefore at risk of extinction.)
- please give additional information to "demand of the market"
Site selection
- ...shaded by a shading structure... no need for "shading"
- ...in an area with tall hardwood... ---> "h"
- mixture of singular and plural
- in almost every sentence a "should"
Planting
- For propagat'ion' through... ---> rewrite this sentence
- ...plants emerge. Young plants can be transplanted in a... ---> rewrite
- The support the plants... ---> missing "y" ? Restructure the whole sentence! (...mulch in for of pine... ?)
- For propagation through...seeds, the seeds... to a depht... (?)
Maintenance
- Maintenance
- The plant should be moist... (is it the plant or the soil, that should be moist?)
- ...protected...
- snail ---> no capital "S"
- always
---> rewrite sentence if possible
Harvesting
- digging something out ---> rewrite
- They should be prevented from drying (out?) and from too high moisture, which...
Processing
- 1....
- 2.... - one "Drying" too much
- ...in a warm place...
- ...a dehydrator.
- The drying process should be conducted carefully. ---> is this information important?
- Once they are completely
- ...can be stored in a cool...
- "by" a kitchen blender?
Uses
- It has a reputation, that it was one of the most widely used... --> most of what?
- It was traditionally used... ---> without "be"
- Nowadays its ---> it is (as before in the text)
Bioactive components
- capital "c"
- components are a...
- substances act as ---> plural
Figure
- no caption!