Wikipedia:Peer review/Arad, Israel/archive2

Arad, Israel

Previous peer review

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for October 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
After rewriting the lead section of this article, I finally feel like having completed all the applicable tasks set by the previous peer review. For the time being, I'd mainly like to know if the article passes A-class criteria (and if not, why), but of course comments for FA status are important and appreciated.

Thanks, Ynhockey ^(Talk) 03:00, 4 October 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here.

• The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way, but Economy and Services do not seem to be in the lead. Please see WP:LEAD
• Article needs more references, for example the neighborhoods section has no refs. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
• Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
  •  Done -- Ynhockey ^(Talk) 00:15, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
• There are several one or two sentence paragreaphs and sections that should either be combined with others or expanded to improve the flow of the article.
• Per WP:MOS#Images, images should generally be set to thumb width to allow reader preferences to take over. For portrait format images, "upright" can be used to make the image narrower. The panoramas can be set wider, but it seems to me that the article has too many images as it is.
  •  Done -- Ynhockey ^(Talk) 11:34, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
• A model article is often helpful for ideas and examples to follow - there are a large number of Geography FAs on cities at Wikipedia:Featured_articles#Geography_and_places that may be helpful as models

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 03:01, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Hi Ruhrfisch! Thanks for reviewing the article Arad, Israel. I have a few questions regarding the review:

1. Referencing: Are there any major unreferenced points other than the neighborhoods section? If so, I'll start working on that before tackling the neighborhoods. The problems with that particular section is that it can pretty much be verified by any Hebrew-speakers by looking at a map of Arad (such as the one I created for the article). However, the fact that these names were actually pre-planned cannot be verified in that method, and I sent an e-mail to the municiaplity to confirm what is already seen from a map - and it was confirmed that indeed these names were pre-planned. However, I have not been able to find a published source talking about this. I cannot imagine that this would warrant the deletion of the entire neighborhoods section, as again, all of them and their street names/meanings can be seen on any map. What do you suggest should be done?
2. Ref formatting: A while ago I spent some time properly formatting all the references, including all the known details about them. Are there are particular refs you are concerned about?
3. Merging paragraphs/sections: What exactly do you have in mind? I merged the music festival section, and another section heading before that (following initial GA review). However, everything else seems OK and while there are some short paragraphs/sections, it would be strange to merge healthcare and law enforcement, for example. Moreover, AFAIK FAs for cities require sections like that for comprehensiveness. Are there any specific examples you can give for certain merging?

Thanks again for the review!

-- Ynhockey ^(Talk) 11:49, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

I was BOLD and copied your comment here from my talk page.

• In reference to your questions, as I see it, Places without refs follow:

1. The coloring of the emblem may vary, but it is generally accepted to have the outline colored light blue, and the inside - orange.
2. The historical site of Tel Arad and the Arad Park (also known as Ran Grove) can also be found within its municipal area, west of the urban core. Arad also has a commercial landing strip located slightly to the south of its urban core. Arad's municipality nearly borders Kuseife to the west, although the urban cores of the towns are not nearly as close.
3. They are completely dried-up all year round.
4. In light of the dwindling population in Negev towns (Arad, Dimona, Yeruham and Mitzpe Ramon), the Ministry for the Development of the Negev and Galilee initiated multiple projects to advance settlement in these towns. However, most projects were never materialized.
5. Gan HaHamisha (Garden of the Five) - a memorial park for the five residents of Arad who were killed in action in the Six-Day War. Includes a monument for the soldiers, as well as a stone structure called Amud HaBulbusim (lit. Pillar of the Potatoes, because of its shape), which marks Arad's place in the desert and their residents' control of the territory according to Bedouin tradition - designed by Yona Pitelson.
6. Arad does not have a hospital, but there are numerous medical clinics, including Clalit, Leumit and Maccabi. Emergencies are handled by the single Magen David Adom station, located in the municipal compound. This is also an example of a two sentence paragraph - why not combine it with the following paragraph?
7. Arad's station also serves the Sodom area.
8. The whole Religion section has no refs.
9. It is not clear wht the refs are for the table of elected officials and the table of bus lines.

• Problem refs - I picked one ref at random, current number 12, which reads "Visitor's Card". Arad Municipality. It has no date retrieved information. It is in Hebrew, but does not say this (as several other refs do). Read WP:CITE for the info needed in each internet, book, journal, etc. reference.
• I pointed out one possible merge above (hospitals). While it sometimes makes sense to have a short paragraph, often it can be combined or expanded. Print the article out and read it with a red pen - mark each paragraph that is two sentences or less, then ask if it needs to be that short or if it can be combined or expanded. I do not see any sections now that seem overly short.

Hoep this helps, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 21:15, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Review

1. Suggestion: Convert the emblem to SVG. It should be simple.

1. My original version was in SVG, but IE sometimes has trouble with this format so I avoid it. I'll try it out again. -- Ynhockey ^(Talk) 15:50, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

Wikipedia:SVG Help might help you out here. Zithan (talk) 13:53, 29 October 2008 (UTC)

1. The second sentence needs to be split. It's too wordy.

1.  Done -- Ynhockey ^(Talk) 15:50, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

1. Bible should be in upper case

1.  Done -- Ynhockey ^(Talk) 15:50, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

1. The sub sections of the History section are too small for second level headings. Remove those headings.
2. What is a "pre"-planned city?
3. How much is 50,000 liras worth today?
4. Arad began absorbing – anthropomorphism, avoid this

1. While I disagree with this, what do you suggest? -- Ynhockey ^(Talk) 15:50, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

people from xyz began to move to Arad Zithan (talk) 13:53, 29 October 2008 (UTC)

1. olim – Context is needed so that a reader does not click a link to figure out that they were Russian Jews

1.  Done -- Ynhockey ^(Talk) 15:50, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

1. Too many images, please reduce some of them.

Zithan (talk) 14:41, 24 October 2008 (UTC)