Wikipedia:Peer review/Armenian Genocide/archive3

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Armenian Genocide[edit]

Previous peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because the centennial is coming up (April 24, 1915). I think it's a good idea to have it looking nice until then.

Thanks, Étienne Dolet (talk) 06:00, 28 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

A few copyediting comments, not a complete review. (Note that I'm just copying text without links.) This is my imperfect understanding of what reviewers are looking for at FAC. - Dank (push to talk)

  • Have the issues identified in the old FAC (Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Armenian Genocide/archive1) been addressed?
  • "The word genocide was coined in order to describe these events.": According to the cited source, Lemkin coined the word to describe the Holocaust. Most readers would take "these events" to be the events you're describing in that paragraph.
  • "grouped together under the name Armenian millet (community)": In what way were they grouped?
  • "There, the Armenians were subject": Where?
  • "system held up in Muslim countries": "held up" isn't the phrase you want here.
  • "if we want to appreciate what uncontrolled Turkish rule meant, alike to Armenians and to Greeks. It did not mean religious persecution; it meant unutterable contempt... They were dogs and pigs; and their nature was to be Christians, to be spat upon": Does this provide actual and relevant information about the treatment of Armenians? If not, then the tone isn't encyclopedic.
  • "... by Christians and Jews was inadmissible in courts of law; they ...": Does "they" refer to Christians and Jews, or just Christians? - Dank (push to talk) 03:13, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the extensive review. I'll make some adjustments accordingly. I'd also appreciate it if other users, such as Armen Ohanian (talk · contribs) and Diranakir (talk · contribs) to have a look at this and provide their two cents as well. Étienne Dolet (talk) 18:59, 10 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

@Dank: I made the necessary changes. Étienne Dolet (talk) 02:02, 11 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]