Wikipedia:Peer review/Jessica Alba/archive2

Jessica Alba[edit]

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for December 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to nominate this article for FAC but I would like to have it reviewed before I do so.

Thanks, Hda3ku (talk) 15:46, 18 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

My Review

Looking at the criteria listed under WP:FA? To my eye this article meets most of those criteria. The prose could be sharper, but what's here is as good as many things that make it to print these days. So IMHO this article is class A. Congratulations. I will not nominate this for featured article status. I leave that to you, after you work more on the prose. --Hfarmer (talk) 09:09, 22 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: This looks much better than its last PR. Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement.

Language is better, but still could use a copyedit to polish things. Just in the lead She also appeared on the cover of Playboy, which was followed by a lawsuit, which was later dropped.[9] could be clearer - perhaps something like After Playboy featured her on its March 2006 cover without her consent, Alba filed a lawsuit which was later dropped.
Could more details on critical reception of her work be included? Most of her movies have no information on critical reception. The sentence Co-created by Cameron, the series starred Alba, and ran for two seasons until 2002, earning her critical acclaim as well as a Golden Globe nomination.[22][5] could give some specifics as to the critical acclaim, for example (in the sentence or after in new sentences).
Quoted sentence above has refs out of numerical order - they should be in order.
The quote in Religion uses {{cquote}} but according to WP:MOSQUOTE, {{blockquote}} should be used. Even that is supposed to be for quotes of 4 lines or more, but the quote on my monitor is less than 2 complete lines of text.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 14:07, 23 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]