Wikipedia:Peer review/List of D.Gray-man chapters/archive1

List of D.Gray-man chapters

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for September 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it fails the criteria for B2, coverage and accuracy, and it's been stumping me. It's the only thing keeping it from B-class, I think and I would like it to get there.

Thanks, Itzjustdrama ^(drama?) 22:02, 6 September 2008 (UTC)

Update: The list passed to B-class, but it would be good to get advices to improve more the article.Tintor2 (talk) 20:09, 11 September 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here.

• Article needs cleaned up for language / grammar. Just in the lead there is The series follows the adventures of Allen Walker, an Exorcists who uses the power of a divine weapon called "Innocence”, and his comrades in the Black Order as they fight against the Akuma, demons created from human souls, of [by] an ancient sorcerer known as the Earl of Millennium[, who] and his plan[s] to destroy all of humanity. You can ask for a copyedit at WP:PRV
• I assume the chapters are individual issues of the book? Could this be made clearer? Also unclear if there are multiple Innocences are just many pieces of one Innocence.
• Watch needless repetition - just in the first volume "headquarters of the Black Order" is repeated twice. Could it be something like Allen Walker travels to Great Britain to the headquarters of the Black Order, an organization of Exorcists created by the Vatican. There he is introduced to the other Exorcists by Komui Lee and destroys multiple Akuma, which are created by the Earl of Millennium from the souls of the deceased when their loved ones curse God for their loss.
• "Chapters not yet in tankōbon format" - this section needs some explanatory text

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 08:25, 16 September 2008 (UTC)