Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Jericho episodes/archive1

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List of Jericho episodes[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to try to get the article to FLC, and I need major help with the grammar of the episode summaries, and to a lesser extent, the lead. Any help given would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you, NuclearWarfare (Talk) 03:16, 30 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Brianboulton comments:

  • Structure: you have said that your aim is to bring this to FL standard. I suggest that you go to the FL page and see how featured lists of TV episodes are generally structured. Pick two or three to look at, because they are not all the same, but the various "Lost" series may be a good place to look first. You will see that these articles tend to have separate sections for Cast & crew, Reception, Media history (DVD etc). You are cramming everything into the lead, which ought to act as a overall summary of the article, not as a general ragbag of assorted facts.
  • What is the purpose of the citations for each of the producers listed in the first line? Why do they need individual citing in this way?
    • I could not find a citation of all of them to one particular article, so I did an exhaustive search until I could find all that had been labeled as executive producers.
  • [5] is a citation to another Wikipedia article
    • It is actually a citation to the episode itself; I believe that it generally considered acceptable.
  • Some of the sources look distinctly dodgy. For example ref [11] ("Gawker"). What makes this reliable? I suspect the question may be asked about one or two other sources, if Ealdgyth gets here.
    • I looked through WP:RSN archives before I used it, and so I found that it was reliable per this.
  • I am unsure there is sufficient justification for the use of this NFU image. Since it consists solely of a stylised rendering of the name "Jericho", can it really be said to increase significantly the reader's understanding of the article? I recommend you get an opinion on this from an image reviewer.
    • I'm not really sure, and you are probably right. I'll wait for a third opinion on this one.
  • List headings: one of the columns is headed "Morse Code". What does this mean - it's not explained anywhere as far as I can see?
    • I have an explanation in the caption, but I'll add another footnote.
    • Does the footnote already attached to the "Morse Code" column not explain this? If so, how can I make it more clear?
  • The numbering columns should be properly headed, rather than by #. Is it necessary to have two numbering systems for the episodes?
  • The episode summaries need to be looked at by someone who knows the series – these synopses mean very little to me. The prose is quite poor in a number of places; here are some examples (not by any means exhaustive):-
    • (episode 1): "differing stories on where he had been" → "different stories about where he had been"
    • (3): "Robert Hawkins is shown handling a metal canister with an NBC suit on." → "Robert Hawkins is shown in an NBC suit, handling a metal canister".
    • (3): "The town follows Jake's plan to search for information, and Jake finds a plane that had emergency landed, returning with its flight recorder." This is two sentences: "The town agrees Jake's plan to search for information. Jake finds a plane that has carried out an emergency landing, and returns with its flight recorder."
    • (4): "Hawkins sends an email to an unknown recipient" → ""Hawkins sends an email to an unidentified recipient"
    • (9): "who orders that the bridge not be destroyed" → "who gives orders against destroying the bridge"
    • (11): "who is then elected mayor" → "who is subsequently elected mayor"
    • (13): "Dale tries to steal a governor for the windmill, but is caught and about to be executed when a group from Jericho's neighboring town, New Bern, save them." → "Dale tries to steal a governor for the windmill but is caught, and is about to be executed when a group from Jericho's neighboring town, New Bern, saves him." (or "saves the Jericho party." )

With some further careful work there is no reason why this article shouldn't rise to the level you are aiming at. Good luck with it. Brianboulton (talk) 15:26, 5 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your review. I shall go through and copy edit myself a few times and see if I can get another party to do so well. Thank you for your review! NuclearWarfare (Talk) 17:17, 5 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
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