Wikipedia:Peer review/Lithium/archive1
I'm going over this article from top to bottom trying to improve it to at least GA standards, and I was hoping I could get some input concerning what needs immediate attention (in terms of comprehensiveness, prose and sourcing) to get it there. So far the only part of my draft I have placed in the article is its new introduction, so next is Characteristics. Thanks Enoktalk 05:57, 8 August 2007 (UTC)
- Some (hopefully useful) comments:
- Many more citations are needed.
- There are too many single-sentence paragraphs; they need to be expanded or consolidated.
- The "Other uses" section needs to be converted into prose, rather than a bulleted list.
- I'm an astronomy weenie, so for the occurance section I'd like to see some text about formation of Lithium during the big bang, the primordial abundance in the universe and the fact that most stars destroy most of their lithium shortly after they are formed. (If so, how does the Lithium in the Universe get formed?)
- Aluminum-lithium alloys have also been tested for rocket launchers, and I think the Russians had started using it on their platforms. But I seem to recall there were cracking issues.
- Thanks. — RJH (talk) 17:09, 9 August 2007 (UTC)
Looks well done to me. I am confused by one thing: the passing mention that medical use of lithium causes increased excretion of potassium. It would be helpful to include a short paragraph explaining how and why that occurs. 08:38, 12 August 2007 (UTC)
Automated Peer Review
[edit]The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.
- Consider removing links that add little to the article or that have been repeated in close proximity to other links to the same article, as per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (links) and WP:CONTEXT.[?]
- Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Manual of Style (dates), months and days of the week generally should not be linked. Years, decades, and centuries can be linked if they provide context for the article.[?]
- If there is not a free use image in the top right corner of the article, please try to find and include one.[?]
- Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Build the web, years with full dates should be linked; for example, link January 15, 2006.[?]
- There are a few occurrences of weasel words in this article- please observe WP:AWT. Certain phrases should specify exactly who supports, considers, believes, etc., such a view.
- Watch for redundancies that make the article too wordy instead of being crisp and concise. (You may wish to try Tony1's redundancy exercises.)
- While additive terms like “also”, “in addition”, “additionally”, “moreover”, and “furthermore” may sometimes be useful, overusing them when they aren't necessary can instead detract from the brilliancy of the article. This article has 16 additive terms, a bit too much.
- Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “
Allpigs are pink, so we thought ofa number ofways to turn them green.”
- Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.[?]
You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, Davnel03 17:16, 16 August 2007 (UTC)
- The lithium niobat in usage states that 60% of lithium is used in cellular phones. Although this might be right it is not used as niobate, but mostly in the Lithium battery.--Stone 09:52, 17 August 2007 (UTC)
- alloying agent in organic synthesis is unspecific and the link goest to alloy which has no meaning within organic synthesis.--Stone 09:55, 17 August 2007 (UTC)
- supply submarines and space capsules with oxygen and the air purification should be combined.--Stone 09:58, 17 August 2007 (UTC)
- the double reference of lithium niobat should be combined.--Stone 09:58, 17 August 2007 (UTC)