Wikipedia:Peer review/Murder of Cameron Blair/archive1

Murder of Cameron Blair

I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like some feedback in a few areas. Is the detail about the court process too extensive? Do I use too many dates? Is the language -particularly in reference to the seventeen year old and fourteen year old - too repetitive? Otherwise, I think I've covered my bases in this article, but would love to hear if you think it's missing something crucial.

Thanks, Xx78900 (talk) 15:03, 8 August 2021 (UTC)

I enjoyed reading this article. To answer your questions: No. No. A little; I suggest referring to 17yo as X17 and the 14yo as X14. I copy-edited and trimmed the article in an effort to make it read more sharply.

On covering the bases:

1. There's something missing between these two lines:

"The trial subsequently "collapsed".[43] with the Director of Public Prosecutions deciding not to proceed with the charge.[17][44]"

"On Friday 23 July 2021, the fourteen year old teenager, who was sixteen at the time of sentencing, was sentenced to two years detention followed by two years of community supervision.[42]"

2. Re:

"Political response

After Blair's death, which occurred during a period of unusually high rates of violent crime in Cork[54][55][56] and across Ireland,[57] increased pressure was placed on Taoiseach Leo Varadkar's government to reduce violent crime in Ireland.[58] Micheál Martin, then leader of the opposition, claimed that Varadkar's government was "losing control" of the nation.[58] This, combined with gangland shootings in Dublin, made violent crime a central election issue in the 2020 Irish general election.[5]"

What did the government do, if anything, to reduce violent crime in Ireland? How did this play out in the general election?

3. "The sentencing judge described the case as "almost incomprehensible".[61]

What was the judge referring to when he described the case as "almost incomprehensible".?

4. Re:

"The seventeen year old, O'Connor, and the fourteen year old all produced knives and began to threaten the occupants of the house.[7][13][14] The knife which would be used by the seventeen year old to murder Blair was 21cm long.[15] While O'Connor was later charged with producing an article capable of causing serious harm,[16] the fourteen year old wielded a butter knife and so was not charged with the same offense.[17]"

Could you add something about "knife culture" i.e. the increasing prevalence, at least in the UK and Ireland(?) of knife crime?

5. Re:

"The murder of Cameron Blair occurred on 16 January 2020, when he was fatally stabbed in the neck at a house party on the Bandon Road in Cork, Ireland."

Where is Cork? Maybe add a map?

Sandbh (talk) 00:12, 18 August 2021 (UTC)

Thanks for taking the time to review this for me!

(1) I've addressed your first issue.

(2) Regarding the second issue, I'm not sure if this event actually prompted anything more than politicians talking about doing something, at least I haven't been able to find anything

which says otherwise.

(3) Due to the law surrounding the protection of the identities of minors, it is illegal to reproduce what that judge was referring to here, though a lot of Irish people familiar with

the case would know. This is why it is included in the sources, but not explained.

Would I be best just striking that line completely?

(4) Over the coming days I will see if I can address knife culture in Ireland, though I'm not sure that I can

(5) I've put in a request for someone to add a map, because I can't for the life of me work out how to do it.

Thanks again for all your help! Xx78900 (talk) 12:07, 19 August 2021 (UTC)