Wikipedia:Peer review/Seated Liberty dollar/archive1
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I intend to nominate it for FA and I'd like some feedback. Nominated on my own behalf and that of RHM22.
Brianboulton comments: This is the first half of my review. This looks like a fairly typical article of its genre, complete of course with the obligatory demise of a Mint engraver. Mostly minor prose and presentation issues:
- I think there should be mention in the first paragraph of the coin's metal composition. It can be inferred from the second paragraph that it is silver, though this is not immediately explicit.
- " one or the other precious metal would likely be overvalued in terms of the other" - perhaps: "either precious metal would likely be overvalued in terms of the other" to avoid repetition?
- "Despite the approval to strike the coins, no silver dollars were minted until 1836"? Any reason for the delay?
- Gobrecht dollar
- " William Kneass prepared a sketch based on Patterson's conception, but soon suffered a stroke..." Here we go, I thought, the curse of the US Mint. And, sure enough...but I would remove the word "soon", as unnecessary.
- "was allowed to commence" seems a bit verbose; why not "commenced"
- You have redlinked the Coinage Act of 1837, yet not the Act of 1853 mentioned in the lead and elsewhere.
- Tense confusion: "Beginning in 1837, an adaptation of the obverse of the Gobrecht dollar, depicting a seated Liberty, had been used..." The "had been" reads wrongly in context; I'm sure it should be "was".
- " Except on the half dime and dollar (both abolished in 1873)..." The dollar was abolished? Sensational news indeed! I think a little rephrasing for clarity is advisable.
- Consider swapping the images in this and the previous section. The Gobrecht portrait logically belongs to either, but the Gobrecht dollar design would probably be better in that section.
- "in order to", rather than just "to", is verbose
- "to circulation" or "into circulation"?
- "a fund which allowed the Mint a "float", allowing it to give..." Suggest rephrase to avoid the repetition.
- "The Act lowered the silver weight of the coins from the half dime to half dollar by 6.9%" I think the meaning would be clearer if the word "ranging" was inserted between "coins" and "from", and "the" before "half dollar".
- "According to the Senate report on the bill " - which bill? Do you mean the 1853 Act?
- "Sources vary why Congress chose..." Not quite right as its stands. The sources themselves don't vary; they give different reasons or explanations. Thus: "Sources give various explanaations as to why..." etc (or similar)
- I was confused to read ""the silver dollar ... continued to be exported and was never seen in domestic circulation" when, earlier in the section: "The process of bringing the new coin to circulation was made easier by a congressional authorization...", and later: " The silver dollar continued to circulate little..."
- You don't have to show up in Tampa until Tuesday. Thanks for the work. I have been slightly delayed with Rite, but hope to get to it today.
Here's the rest (Tuesday has been postponed until Wednesday)
- Later years
- "little to do with the trade with the Orient" - "with ... with" jars. Parhaps "with Oriental trade"?
- "it used them only once before 1870" - the identity of "it" is not clear from the present wording
- Riding one of my regular hobby-horses, I query the need for a 200-word verbatim quote on the religious motto issue. Surely the gist of Mr Pollock's plea could be given with a few choice quotes and a brief paraphrase? (I don't expect you to agree, but I must make the point)
- "though the mintage in 1871 also exceeded a million". Suggest a "had" before "also"
- Abolition and aftermath
- Perhaps link "lode"?
- The sentence beginning "Abolition and aftermath..." is somewhat overlong; consider splitting
- ...and the sentence following is even longer.
- "(by then about $.80). I had to check the edit window to be sure that the figure is £0.80 of a dollar, not $80. Maybe use the 0.80 format.
- "to receive back standard silver dollars for their metal". The "back" makes the sentence read awkwardly. Either remove, or perhaps reword "to receive standard silver dollars in return for their metal"
- It's a pity that the deployment of two images in the section creates a vast white area. No doubt you are very reluctant to lose either of these highly relevant images. I tried one thing: put both images on "upright", and bring the Bryan image up one paragraph. That eliminates the white, at the cost of a few lines of squeezed text and, of course, two rather small images. Anyway, try it, see what you think. Maybe just the Bryan on upright? There are a few options.
- "a large quantity which had accumulated at the New York Sub-Treasury was sent to Philadelphia in 1861 and 1862" - better: "large quantities" (since it's over two years)
- I find it odd that, since "there is no record of any 1870-dated obverse dies for the dollar being sent to San Francisco", the next sentence reads: "Breen, writing in 1988, lists twelve examples known...". If no record, how known? Brianboulton (talk) 22:46, 27 August 2012 (UTC)
- Possibly the sending of an 1870 die was not recorded. The coins exist and are genuine. I have sent back the Assay Commission records DVDs to the ANA library in Colorado Springs, but I think if they were reflected on the 1871 Assay Commission report, Breen would have said. Unfortunately, only a few years of Coin World and The Numismatist are online, but I'll see if I can find anything. Thank you for a thorough review.--Wehwalt (talk) 22:57, 27 August 2012 (UTC)