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Wikipedia:Peer review/The Hudsucker Proxy/archive1

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This is something of an underrated film even among fans of the Coen brothers. I think that the article is already off to a good start but I would like to improve it even more. Any helpful suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Count Ringworm 19:33, 23 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

  • Comment, you have an easy first step of fair use rationale for images.
I'd move the budget into production--at least the numbers if you think most expensive Cohen film at the time is important then keep that. But, I'd definitely make the intro probably two more fleshed out paragraphs and no hanging sentences like the Wheel of Fortune one. Like how Casablanca (film) does it. gren グレン 11:21, 25 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for these suggestions. I'll give it a go. Count Ringworm 19:30, 7 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

AnonEMouse

[edit]
  • Lead is way too short. See WP:LEAD. One good suggestion from there is to include at least part of a sentence about every important section of the article.
  • Why so much on the music in the lead? Was it that important in the movie? I recommend moving the music down into a section of its own. Was there a soundtrack released?
  • first section, wikilink New Years Eve, Hula hoop, frisbee.
  • Norville is chased down the street by an angry mob to the Hudsucker building - what made the mob angry?
  • Moses stops the clock and time freezes - huh? Need to explain Moses's mystical powers a bit more. If he has divine powers, why does he have to fight Aloysius - or is Aloysius also more than human? Heck, what are M and A's motivations?
  • goes on to "rule with wisdom" - rule what, the company? why the quote marks?
  • action."[1]One - need a space after the ref
  • Production - wikilink skyscraper, since it's so important
  • While trying to sell their feature film debut Blood Simple, - be more specific, give a date
  • the scale after Citizen Kane (1941).- in what sense is the scale based on a famous movie?
  • it was a box office flop, grossing less than $3,000,000 in the US. - this needs to be moved after the test shootings text, don't you think? In fact, I'd move it all the way to Reaction.
  • More reaction - this only describes immediate reaction, what about reaction over the last 15 years? Any more recent films based on it, any more recent reviews, retrospectives, references?
  • References - the Retrieved on dates are red links, try again, maybe need leading 0s? Also some refs have double double quotes, as in ""A Rock on the Beach,"
  • External links - describe the links more. Coenesque - isn't there a more specific subpage for this film?

--AnonEMouse (squeak) 15:38, 13 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]