Wikipedia:Peer review/Voivode of Transylvania/archive1

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Voivode of Transylvania[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it needs some attention from other editors before being developed into a GA article. Thanks, Borsoka (talk) 05:46, 7 December 2012 (UTC)

Comments. Just some copyediting notes. - Dank (push to talk)

  • "preserved for the monarchs": "reserved" is more precise.
  • "Stephen Báthory the voivode elected by the Diet of the new realm": comma before the appositive, after "Báthory"
  • "from the period beginning with the 1170s": If you don't mean a specific period, then "from the 1170s" (in BritEng)
  • "Thereafter they were "the men of the voivode" who appointed and dismissed them at will (Gyula Kristó).": I'm not sure I follow.
  • "In the latter case, however,": Some reviewers have asked us to take a tougher look at "however". I don't think the word adds anything vital here.
  • You're giving the Hungarian and Romanian terms for many offices, which seems fine to me ... but then you occasionally throw in German, without telling the reader which which word belongs to which language. It might be better if the German words at least were identified as such. - Dank (push to talk) 19:54, 15 December 2012 (UTC)
Thank for your above suggestions. I only disagree with the last one. I think the article is consequent that in cases when it refers to a Saxon settlement or official, than the German name is preferred. Borsoka (talk) 04:54, 16 December 2012 (UTC)
  • Now archiving this, since the same article is up at WP:GAN. See the PR instructions. - Dank (push to talk) 16:36, 3 January 2013 (UTC)