For a while now I've been collecting material for articles that never get written on the WWII campaign in the South of France. I found a book in Melbourne on Marshal Leclerc and bought it. His article was a mess, at least the English version was, so I fixed it up. And so here it is, an account of the famous Gaulliste de la Premier Jour. Visit his museum when in Paris. Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:08, 6 June 2014 (UTC)
Just a heads-up that I'm not pointing out things terms that might need translating.
It's hard to know what needs translating and what doesn't. As with German, there are some terms we military historians habitually render in the original language.
"the only adjoining Free French territory that controlled Axis Powers": I don't know what that means.
Corrected to: Chad, the only Free French territory that shared a border with territory controlled Axis Powers, along its Sahara Desert border with Italian-controlled Libya.Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:09, 6 June 2014 (UTC)
wording: " In one action, two horses were shot under him" --> " In one action, two horses were shot out from under him"? (not sure about this one, though, I could well be wrong, so feel free to ignore);
Not sure either. Gone with your version. Hawkeye7 (talk) 13:49, 7 June 2014 (UTC)
wording: "given early admission to the course for promotion to capitaine" --> "given early admission to the capitain's promotion course"? (this might be a little tigher)
I wanted to make it clear that the course was for promotion tocaptaine, not a promotion course 'for a captaine. Hawkeye7 (talk) 13:49, 7 June 2014 (UTC)
inconsistent presentation: "World War II" and "Second World War", and also "World War I"
French follows English: First World War (Première Guerre mondiale) and Second World War (Seconde Guerre mondiale). So we'll go with that. Hawkeye7 (talk) 13:49, 7 June 2014 (UTC)
I suggest starting a new paragraph at this sentence: "He broke his leg in two places in a fall from his horse in 1936..." (as it doesn't seem related to the information appearing in the paragraph before it);
I wonder if a little more context should be added here: "As new CEFEO commander, Leclerc began in October 1945 in French Indochina, first breaking a Vietminh blockade around Saigon..." (for instance, clarification that they were attempting to regain their colonial possessions, which had been lost after the Japanese entered the war...(or something similar - I'm not an expert in this area, though, so my suggest might be overly simplistic). It probably wouldn't need much more than a short sentence)
I didn't rewrite this section, as it was as long as I thought it needed to be, but it seems that the story is not well known. Hawkeye7 (talk) 13:49, 7 June 2014 (UTC)
Okay, I have added some background. It's one of those things that gets more complicated the more that you know about it. Hawkeye7 (talk) 12:04, 9 June 2014 (UTC)
I suggest attributing this quote in text: "like the Americans later, could conquer Vietnamese territory but could not hold it";
"he warned that "anti-communism will be a useless tool unless the problem of nationalism is resolved" (warned by whom?)
Added a bit more explanation. Hawkeye7 (talk) 12:04, 9 June 2014 (UTC)
"Leclerc was appointed Inspector of Land Forces in North Africa" (when?) --> e.g. something like this might be smoother: "A month after his return, Leclerc was appointed Inspector of Land Forces in North Africa..." AustralianRupert (talk) 12:11, 7 June 2014 (UTC)
Thanks for your review. Much appreciated. Hawkeye7 (talk) 12:04, 9 June 2014 (UTC)
I'm not sure about the French unit designations not being translated. We translate German units (with the notable exceptions of Panzer and Panzergrenadier, as they seem to be English terms now), and I rather think we should be doing the same with the French. ie 11th Chasseurs Regiment, 8th Moroccan Spahis Regiment etc.
We are doing the same with French. I don't know who decided that "panzer" and "panzergrenadier' don't get translated, but it was already the practice amongst English-speaking military historians in the 1940s. "Chasseur" and "Spahi" don't get translated either. So "11e Régiment de Chasseurs" in French could be rendered as "11th Chaussers Regiment" in English. The convention amongst English-speaking military historians is to not translate the abbreviations, so the 13th Demi-Brigade of the Foreign Legion is the 13e DBLE. (Similarly, the International Federation of Association Football is FIFA.) Now that I'm on top of the translation templates, I can render them this way, if there is support amongst the MilHist Project for this. I looked at existing articles like Régiment de marche du Tchad for guidance. Hawkeye7 (talk) 08:55, 15 June 2014 (UTC)
Definitely need to get some consensus on it, I agree the terms like Chasseur should not get translated, but some explanation by way of a note might be useful. I'm familiar with the foreign initialisations, and I'm fine with that approach personally.