Attack of the Killer Kung-Fu Wolf Bitch

"Attack of the Killer Kung-Fu Wolf Bitch"
Episode no.	Season 2 Episode 21
Directed by	Seung Eun Kim
Written by	Aaron McGruder Rodney Barnes
Production code	207
Original air date	November 19, 2007
Guest stars
Aisha Tyler Tichina Arnold
Episode chronology
← Previous "The Story of Thugnificent" Next → "Shinin'"
The Boondocks (season 2) List of The Boondocks episodes

"Attack of the Killer Kung-Fu Wolf Bitch" is the sixth episode of the second season of the Adult Swim animated television series The Boondocks and the twenty-first episode overall. It originally aired on November 19, 2007.

Plot

The episode begins with Granddad trying to find a beautiful young woman to date through online dating sites (which he discovered from Riley in "Stinkmeaner Strikes Back") but with no more success than his first attempts. He becomes increasingly upset as each date fails to live up to the online photos they post on their respective profiles.

Determined to not give up, Robert turns to web-cams to better his chances of finding a real "cutie-pie". This proves fruitful when a young woman named Luna (voiced by Aisha Tyler) agrees to spend the weekend with the Freeman family. Both of the boys are a little wary, but Granddad dismisses their concerns and assures the boys everything will be fine. Huey simply does not believe meeting someone so early is wise.

When Luna arrives, she is physically everything Granddad has hoped for. A visual gag shows her Myspace photo set floating next to her as she stands in the doorway, for comparison purposes. The woman comments that she looks just like her photo. That night, the Freemans and Luna enjoy a nice dinner, though the mood quickly shifts after Luna reveals she owns fifteen wolves and is a master of "White Lotus Kung-Fu". Huey is deeply disturbed by this, for being an expert in martial arts himself, he knows it to be the "deadliest style". While Granddad is quite a bit nervous, this soon turns to an object of horror among the family after Luna explains her participation in the mythical secret mixed martial arts master tournament known as the Kumite. Luna herself is quite indifferent to such homicidal tendencies, even going as far to joke about them.

The Freemans excuse themselves and regroup in the bathroom. Having been freaked out by the truth of Luna, Riley asked why Granddad invited a "killer kung-fu wolf bitch" to their home. Both boys insist that Granddad end his date immediately, but Granddad is not willing to end the date with Luna on the grounds for fear that she may use one of her "exploding nutsack techniques". Meanwhile, Luna is on her Bluetooth headset with a friend named Nicole (voiced by Tichina Arnold), who seems to believe that Luna should not take fault in anything that may have caused Robert to act strangely. Huey tells Granddad that Luna cannot really be a White Lotus master, and leaves the bathroom to express his skepticism to Luna herself. She offers to give him a demonstration in the form of "a friendly sparring match". Huey accepts, and ends up being utterly and severely beaten. Luna later regrets it and punches a hole in the wall for beating up Huey.

After recovering, Huey gives Granddad an alibi to get Luna out of the house. Unfortunately, Granddad doesn't stick to the story he and Huey agreed on, as he thinks it wouldn't work. The next day, he botches the plan by claiming to be the party planner for Fidel Castro's birthday, with Jay-Z providing transportation to Cuba. Luna takes the bait, and leaves to the delight of the Freemans, particularly Huey, who believed Granddad's "Fidel Castro's birthday" excuse wouldn't work. However, Luna is soon enlightened by Nicole that Castro's birthday isn't until August, so she quickly turns her car around and drives back. Robert is seen playing checkers with Uncle Ruckus at the park, both unaware that Luna is spying on them while they are playing their game. During their conversation, Robert talks to Ruckus about his recent date and luck with women in internet dating. She overhears Robert calling her a "crazy bitch", which infuriates her. On Nicole's advice, a very angry Luna decides to make Robert pay.

The boys return home later and find their rooms ransacked and the windows barred with nails. When Riley picks up the phone, he discovers it has been disconnected. Before they can do anything, Luna seals them inside the room. Granddad enters the house moments later and is subdued by Luna knocking him out with a choke-hold. She then ties him up and holds him at gunpoint. When Robert wakes up, an emotionally unstable and deranged Luna demands the truth as to why Robert ended the date with her, and whether he believes she's crazy. Unsurprisingly, Granddad is fearful of responding truthfully or making an excuse. Upon seeing Tom, Luna says to the boys that if they make noise, she'll anally violate Granddad with the broom she is holding- which prompts Robert to tell the boys to stay quiet. Moments later, neighbor Tom DuBois arrives at the Freeman house. Huey had e-mailed Tom earlier, expressing concern that Luna might return with violent intentions and asking him to check on the Freeman family periodically. An embarrassed Tom, who believes Huey was worrying over nothing, eventually explains this to Luna and asks to be allowed inside to search the home. Luna tries to get Tom to go away by lying to him, but Huey had anticipated everything Luna was likely to tell Tom and had advised him not to believe it and to search the house anyway. Tom reads the transcript of the e-mail to Luna and is knocked out by her mere seconds after he begins reading the part where Huey warns him how dangerous she is. She then binds him and puts him with her other captives.

Luna lamenting while Tom and Robert are tied up on the bed.

Granddad pleads for her to spare Tom, who had nothing to do with what is going on, and for himself to be released. Luna denies the request, saying Robert broke her heart, and now believes he is no different than "the others". When Granddad asks who these "others" are, Luna explains her life story and her unfortunate relationships with men around her, that her father was physically abusive to her mother and thus made her weak in her own love life, and - having her first love do to her what her father did to her mother in the previous clip - resulting in her trend of allowing men she dated to harm her both physically and emotionally, sometimes even in the same matter her father did. Afterward, she finally breaks down, but Granddad tells her she was far too special to even consider dating such men. He goes on to say that no matter how horrible her past relationships were, she cannot take her anger out on those she encounters in her love life who do not have the same feelings for her, as it will prove to be counterproductive, which will lead her to a lonely life. Tom agrees, and says kidnapping those who she has feelings for but does not receive them back in return is not an ideal way to get a partner. Luna agrees, but is saddened at the fact she is lonely and may never get married, contemplating blowing herself up with a grenade. Granddad and Tom urge her not to (in large part because setting the grenade off in the bedroom would also kill the two of them), and Granddad tells her she should not allow people to abuse her in the way she has been, and to take charge of her responsibilities in life.

Luna finally calms down, frees both Granddad and Tom and decides to leave the Freeman household. With the crisis avoided, the family and Tom wait until Luna has left before feeling safe. However, Nicole points out that Luna is not even certain that Robert would marry her after she gets help, complains about how Robert 'ditched' her even after she told him her life story, and says if she was in Luna's situation, she "would just freakin' die". Luna, under such depression and loneliness, decides to take Nicole's perceived (and quite bad) advice and blows herself up in her car. The episode ends with Grandad, Riley, and Tom walking away from the window, with Riley complaining how the weekend turned out and Grandad wishing Luna's poor soul to rest well. Huey stays behind staring at the remains of the car before he finally leaves as well. Outside, Nicole continues to chatter through her Bluetooth earpiece, giving more bad advice about torturing Granddad into proposing to her, completely unaware that her best friend is dead.