Herbert (Family Guy)

Herbert is a fictional character in the FOX animated sitcom Family Guy. He is voiced by Mike Henry.

An elderly and eccentric gay pedophile, Herbert impotently lusts after Chris Griffin from time to time. He resides just down the street from the Griffins and has tried on several occasions (unsuccessfully) to seduce Chris, with lines such as "Hey, muscley-arm, why the long face?" and "You like popsicles? Then you need to come on down to the cellar; I got a whole freezer full of popsicles. Mmhmm." In a later episode, he is seen atop a ladder outside of Chris' window peeping in (like Bluto in Animal House, complete with music and John Belushi's eyebrow twinkle). He uses a walker for support and speaks with a lisp, often in a high-pitched, comedically drawn out tone; he sometimes whistles as he speaks due to missing teeth.

Herbert first appeared in two episodes of the third season and was originally intended as a small time gag (as a lot of other previous characters before him), but due to high acclaim from fans, featured more regularly and was greatly expanded on in Season 4. The Season 4 episode "The Courtship of Stewie's Father" gave the character more of a back story, revealing that he has a dog, Jesse, who looks just like him. This episode also featured his hair-raisingly awkward rendition of "Somewhere That's Green", from Little Shop of Horrors.

In the 4th season episode "Petergeist", Herbert saves Chris when a tree in the yard grabs him. Duplicating the scene where Gandalf confronts the Balrog from The Lord of the Rings he proclaims, "You shall not pass" and slams his walker into the ground, causing both him and the tree to fall down a ridiculously long shaft into water. It appears that he died in this episode, although a scene cut for time (and, according to the DVD commentary, Standards and Practices) had Herbert and the tree monster climb out of the hole after the Griffin house vanishes and Herbert asking the tree whether he was a "giving" tree or a "receiving" tree. (the scene was later re-added to the DVDs) He also tried unsuccessfully to hit on Stewie while he was doing Chris' paper route, saying to himself "Oh ho, we've got a fighter" as Stewie left.

In season 6, it is suggested that he is a combat veteran.

Origins

Originally, he was going to be either a creepy driver of a school bus that Chris was afraid to go near, or as an eccentric ice cream man.

According to Seth MacFarlane, Herbert was created when Mike Henry would do his voice, every time the writers had trouble coming up with new ideas for episodes, in a disapproving manner. He admitted that it made him laugh every time and decided to adapt him as a character.

Appearances

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Herbert in his rendition of Somewhere That's Green

• To Love and Die in Dixie: In his first appearance, Chris is delivering newspapers to his house, and he tries to persuade Chris to come inside. His views on women are, "Who needs 'em?", revealing he may be a misogynist and/or gay. At the end, he leaves 113 messages on the phone, and they are all asking about Chris' whereabouts (he and his family moved to the deep South for a majority of the episode).
• From Method to Madness: At the mall, he sees Jeff Campbell, a teenage nudist, and says "Holy moley, it must be my birthday!"
• Family Guy: Live in Vegas: He sings the Broadway song "One Boy", which is from Bye Bye Birdie and is sung by a female character about her boyfriend.
• Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story: He is heard during the intermission asking, "Chris, do you have a shower scene? Or do I have to keep dreamin'?"
• North by North Quahog: He disguises himself (unconvincingly) as an eighth-grader and asks two boys to dance. Brian points out that he is "one ugly eighth-grader". "You don't wanna hurt yourself dancing; make sure you stretch out those creamy hamstrings."
• Petarded: On the DVD version of the episode, he is seen dancing at the end of a song.
• Brian the Bachelor: When Chris takes his shirt off and swings it around in the bathroom, he climbs up a ladder and spies on him, mimicking a scene in Animal House. Herbert eventually falls backwards onto the lawn, still hanging onto the top of the ladder.
• The Perfect Castaway: Herbert asks Brian for a car disguised as an ice-cream truck with which to entice children. He then humorously sings the tune of "The Entertainer" (off-key), the ice cream truck song.
• The Courtship of Stewie's Father: Herbert is central to the plot of this episode. It is in this episode that his name is revealed, and that he also has a crippled dog named Jesse, who mirrors him. Chris breaks his window with a baseball, and at Herbert's suggestion, Chris does chores for Herbert to pay for it. He later takes Chris out to dinner. At that point, he fantasizes about life with Chris as his husband, for he sees himself as the wife, dressed as Donna Reed. He also does a musical number, "Somewhere That's Green" from Little Shop Of Horrors, which involves things that are extremely outdated, such as "watching Lucy on a big enormous 12-inch screen", and seeing the kids play Howdy Doody. In his fantasy family, he and Chris have two children, a boy who resembles Chris, and a girl who resembles Herbert. In the last scene of the episode, he turns on the TV to an announcement of the Little League World Series. He perks up instantly and responds: "Oh, jackpot!"
• You May Now Kiss The...Uh...Guy Who Receives: He does not sign Brian's petition for gay marriage, saying, "Get off my property, you pervert". This is a deliberately ironic joke that is not necessarily in keeping with Family Guy's style of qualifying its own jokes with cut-aways, and is closer in style to a show like Arrested Development.
• Petergeist: He saves Chris from being eaten by a giant evil tree, and battles the tree in a similar fashion to Gandalf's battle with the Balrog in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring and The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. When the Griffins' house disappears, both Herbert and the tree emerge from a large hole that was left behind, having put their conflict behind him. Herbert then invites the tree over to his house, asking him, "Are you a giving tree or a receiving tree?"
• Hell Comes to Quahog: When Chris loses his paper route due to Superstore U.S.A., Herbert gets shot by the truck that's launching newspapers and tells his dog Jesse, "That new paperboy done broke my sternum." He and Jesse then exchange "mmmmm"s and fall asleep on the sidewalk.
• Saving Private Brian: After Lois and Peter come down to stop Chris from rehearsing loudly in the garage, he gets angry at them and leaves to loiter in the park. To get to the park, he jumps on a motorcycle driven by Herbert.
• Whistle While Your Wife Works: He sends his dog Jesse out for a walk, and the dog is tempted to eat Peter's detached finger (which was blown off by fireworks), though it is snatched away by a bird.
• Prick Up Your Ears: He is lined up to shake Stewie after he is shaken by Chris and Brian in a parody of the film Airplane!. Later in the episode, Stewie steals his dentures in the night while he is sleeping and dreaming about Fred Savage.
• Barely Legal: Inspected by Peter's child pickpockets, even saying, "I hope you don't find the money strapped to my thigh". Later, in an Adult Swim only scene, he can be seen in the background of the police academy.
• Road to Rupert: Herbert can be seen in line at the Griffins' garage sale. Approaching Chris, Herbert asks him if he is selling any "clothes he wore in the summer." Chris then tells Herbert that all he has fitting that description is a pair of shorts, to which Herbert replies "Sweet Jesus!", although this may be in shock to the sheer size of the shorts, rather than lusting after the item.
• Peter's Two Dads: Herbert sings a few lyrics from "Friends and Lovers" by Carl Anderson and Gloria Loring, after seeing Chris start to sing it while spying through a window from a tree.
• The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou: Herbert drops Chris as his paper boy in favor of a rival paper boy, Kyle. This is presumably because Kyle was better looking than Chris. Later when Chris goes to Herbert's house, Kyle comes and pushes Chris and Kyle's friends come out of nowhere to beat him up. Then Herbert arrives to break up the fight, saying "Boys, boys, we can settle this like reasonable and sexy teenagers. Whoever can swallow the most Tylenol PM wins." It is still unknown if Chris becomes his paper boy again, though it is evidenced in later episodes that Herbert still has feelings for him.
• Airport '07: Herbert asks a young boy sitting behind him on an airplane to kick his chair (the plane ends up crashing later, though he survives like the other passengers with no injuries).
• Bill and Peter's Bogus Journey: Herbert and his dog Jesse are at the aquarium. Herbert holds an eel, then tells his dog to smell his fingers. Herbert then says, "Today was a good day". The joke relies on the sign that reads "Fondle Tank".
• No Meals on Wheels: Herbert is seen at the same store as the Griffin family. He is at the checkout line, where he purchases string, a cardboard box, a ruler, and a teddy bear. Herbert then sets the objects up as a trap.
• Boys Do Cry: Herbert auditions for church organist with the song "I Know What Boys Like" by the Waitresses.
• No Chris Left Behind: When Chris is sent to an exclusive private school, Mr. Pewterschmidt offers him membership in "Skull and Bones," a powerful secret society. The final requirement for his admission is to spend seven minutes in the closet with Herbert, the most senior member of the cult. When Chris refuses, wanting to return to James Woods High School, Herbert is very upset. When Pewterschmidt apologizes to "Master Herbert," Herbert irritably demands, "You better get your ass in that closet, Pewterschmidt!" Pewterschmidt reluctantly agrees and Herbert replies, "I am so tired of you."
• It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One: When Lois was running for Mayor against Adam West, citizens of Quahog ask the candidates questions. Herbert asks Lois, "How do you feel about those computer websites that put a blue square on the home of a sex offender?"
• Blue Harvest: Herbert plays Obi-Wan Kenobi in this hour-long parody of Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. He appears to have some fetish over Luke Skywalker, who is portrayed by Chris. He also sings a rendition of Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes's "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" to Luke along with the Imperial Stormtroopers before going into his final confrontation with Darth Vader (played by Stewie). During the duel, the blade of his lightsaber is seen to become flaccid and limp when it activates. After Obi-Wan spots Luke, his blade immediately becomes erect before being struck down and killed by Vader.
• Movin' Out (Brian's Song): He hires Stewie to deliver his paper. As with Chris, he tries to compliment Stewie's work in an attempts to seduce him by saying "Well Oshkosh B'gosh, it's a brand new paper boy! That's a mighty full sack you're carrying", but Stewie sees through this and tells him, "Piss off, you perverted old freak!". Herbert then says to himself, "Hoo-hooh, we've got a fighter."
• Believe It Or Not, Joe's Walking On Air: Herbert is seen in a homemade booth that is his equivalent to the Y.M.C.A. with a sign that says "Free Popsicles" and "Free Shoulder Rubs". He is singing "Y.M.C.A." by the Village People.
• Stewie Kills Lois: As Stewie scales the house from outside back to his room, Herbert asks him to open Chris's window and plays a record, copying the famous John Cusack scene from Say Anything....
• Padre de Familia: He sings "God Bless the USA" with a children choir at a Veterans' Day parade (inspiring Peter to take pride in his American citizenship), then asks the children if the want to see his Purple Heart. It is suggested by his uniform that he is a veteran of the United States Army who held the rank of Corporal.

External links

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