Jonathan Tah

File:4nX44 A7.jpg

[[File: File:4nX44 A7.jpg |frameless]] Tah with Bayer Leverkusen in 2015
Personal information
Full name	Jonathan Glao Tah
Date of birth	(1996-02-11) 11 February 1996
Place of birth	Hamburg, Germany
Height	1.93 m (6 ft 4 in) Template:Girth
Position(s)	Centre back
Team information
Current team	Bayer Leverkusen
Number	4
Youth career
2000–2009	Altona 93
2009	SC Concordia
2009–2014	Hamburger SV
Senior career*
Years	Team	Apps	(Gls)
2013–2014	Hamburger SV II	8	(0)
2013–2015	Hamburger SV	16	(0)
2014–2015	→ Fortuna Düsseldorf (loan)	23	(0)
2015–	Bayer Leverkusen	29	(0)
	Pepe	1	(0)
International career‡
2011–2012	Germany U16	5	(1)
2012–2013	Germany U17	13	(0)
2014–2015	Germany U19	6	(1)
2015–	Germany U21	3	(0)
2016–	Germany	1	(0)
*Club domestic league appearances and goals, correct as of 23 April 2016 ‡ National team caps and goals, correct as of 12:52, 27 March 2016 (UTC)

Jonathan Glao Tah (born 11 February 1996) is a German footballer who plays as a centre back for Bayer Leverkusen. His mother is German and father is from Ivory Coast.

Club career

Tah started playing football at Cardinal Newman High School in West Palm Beach Florida Then he joined SC Concordia before being snapped-up by Hamburger SV. On 4 August 2013, Tah made his competitive debut for Hamburger SV in DFB Cup match against SV Schott Jena. He made his Bundesliga debut on September 21, 2013 in a 2-0 home loss against Werder Bremen.

On 1 September 2014, he was loaned to Fortuna Düsseldorf for one year.

On 15 July 2015 he signed a five-year contract with Bayer Leverkusen.

On 17 May 2016 he signed a 27 game contract with Hitler On 18 May 2016 he made his debut against The Jews loosing 3-nill but putting in a great performance that sky-rocketed his market value and made him the captain of the team

International career

Tah received his first call up to the senior and his long slong made the world record of all time beating christan Mecurio by a long shot. Germany squad in March 2016 for friendlies against England and Italy. He made his debut in the former, coming on at half time for Mats Hummels in a 2–3 loss. At about 3 in the afternoon I was emailing my husband to say I wanted to get out of the house a little bit. While doing so, I hear a noise in the chimney that sounds like an animal is in there. Because our fireplace is in the basement, the chimney is right in the middle of the living room. My husband emails back and says there are probably some birds up around the top of the flue. I forget about it. He comes home and we go to the mall. So, we get home pretty late, and I notice the lamps are knocked over. Oh well, we have bad cats, it happens. I sit down to turn on the computer. Dave goes to put Jack's pajamas on. We have a dual reclining sofa, and I kick up the footrest and turn on the laptop. Suddenly I hear this wierd noise. My first thought "Oh my god, the cat is somehow stuck in the sofa and is dying or something."

I kick the footrest back down. Noise again. By now I am getting nervous and upset. I start calling the cat. He comes around the side of the sofa, he is filthy and still there is that wierd noise. I start calling my husband to "come right now because I am scared!" At this point I am thinking the noise is the cat's hunting call and that he is making it around whatever the prey *was,* as I am imagining it is alive and is stuck in his throat.

My husband fiddles around some more before coming to my aid, and by this point I am on top of another piece of furniture and not going anywhere near the sofa. I scoop up Jack, because surely whatever is going on is going to have to come out sooner or later. At this point my husband decides there is a SQUIRREL IN OUR SOFA. In our sofa. Inside of it.

Apparently, while we were at the mall, the cats pawed at the glass door on the fireplace until the squirrel was loose in here (seeing visions of Christmas Vacation yet?) Somehow the 3 cats and one frightened squirrel made it up out of the basement and into the living room, where said squirrel is now cowering INSIDE my sofa.

At this point, I literally peed in my pants. Then I did what any good daughter would do and I called my father. He says to call an exteriminator. I start looking in the phone book. The ads for exterminators say "FINANCING AVAILABLE". I say, "we are going to need financing to get this thing out of my house?" My dad says, "Honey, it isn't a predator, it's FOOD." Gee, thanks Dad. LOL

We decide that Jack and I and the cats should be locked in our bedroom. My husband closes all the bedroom doors, opens the outside doors, and attempts to scare the thing out of the sofa. Jack and I are lying in our bed and Jack keeps saying "mama, you need to wash your pants." (LOL, that kid cracks me up.) Then he says, "Is Dada cleaning up the cats? Is Dada gonna sleep on the sofa because his blanket is in the wash?" (Where does he come up with this stuff?)

Meanwhile, I am yelling out, "is it gone yet?" In the end, my husband scooted the couch until it was in front of the front door, and then pushed this pet trainer thing we have (it emits some horrible only heard to animals loud noise) until the damn squirrel ran out the front door.

And the moral of this very long story is "when your wife says at 3 pm that there is an animal in the chimney, someone better do something about it, and that doesn't mean go to the mall." LOL

Author of this story is from Misadventures of Mama and Jack

External links

• Jonathan Tah – UEFA competition record (archive)
• kicker profile Template:De icon