Kaiju Big Battel

Kaiju Big Battel is an American performance entertainment troupe based in Boston, Massachusetts and created by Rand Borden, whose performances are parodies of both professional wrestling and the tokusatsu kaiju movies of Japan. Their performance events, called Big Battels, are performed in the style of professional wrestling events, with the costumed "wrestlers" playing the roles of giant monsters similar to Godzilla and Gamera. The misspelling of "Battel" is intentional, supposedly due to a misprint of an early t-shirt design.

In-jokes abound, targeted at both fans of professional wrestling (especially Mexican wrestling), superhero comic books and Japanese popular culture. Many of the names of the characters are in mock-Spanish or mock-Japanese, and Engrish is liberally used for comic effect.

The first character was Midori no Kaiju (Japanese for "Big Green Monster") built in the summer/fall of 1994. The first Kaiju Big Battel event was held on 31 October, 1995, at Boston's Revolving Museum. The first large-scale Battel was in February, 1996, at the School of the Museum of Fine Arts.

History

One version of Kaiju Big Battel is that it began as a performance project by students at the School of the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston. The earliest battels were held regularly at the museum school and soon began cropping up around town. Early performances in other cities included matches with other troupes of costumed wrestlers at Fort Thunder in Providence, Rhode Island.

Another version is that Kaiju Big Battel is a modern conflict that involves extremely large creatures. These creatures constantly threatened to destroy the Earth every time they fought or got angry. A special committee, called the Kaiju Regulatory Commission (KRC), was formed to figure out how to end the danger that these creatures were causing. They appointed a Commissioner to oversee this project and to help control the creatures. The Commissioner thought up the idea of having sanctioned Battels where the creatures could release their anger against one another. This way, the human race would be safe to view these Battels while also being kept out of harm's way.

Characters

The Heroes

• American Beetle - A jingoistic, patriotic giant insect raised by a single mother. He may be the son of Uchu Chu.
• Atomic Trooper Robo - Teenage BMX star given a robotic body after a terrible accident.
• Force Trooper Robo - A motorcycle courier given a robotic body after a terrible accident.
• Neo Teppen - An astronaut given super-powers by a mysterious substance from Mars.
• Los Plantanos, A.K.A. The Plantain Twins - Two 60-meter-tall mustachioed plantains from South America fighting for fame, money, and the liberation of their native land from the racist Sock Puppet Dictator. Pablo's death at Anime Boston 2006 at the hands of the former hero Silver Potato prompted Pedro to settle the score with his former comrade, but at Shpadoinkelmania after Pedro defeated Silver Potato, Pablo is back as a demented zombie under Dr. Cube's control.
• Dusto Bunny - Incredibly wise, but fun-loving dust bunny sage.
• Powa Ranjuru - A young girl who vowed to fight evil after causing the death of her brother.
• Robox - Low-budget government project to build a giant evil-fighting robot out of cardboard boxes.
• Sentai Jin - An astrophysicist given a robotic body after a freak meteor shower.
• Slo Feng - A Swedish fighter who at first fought only for fame but now joins the Heroes in their fight.
• Hero Intern - Recruited through the Hero Intern Program and trained by Neo Teppen, Los Plantanos and American Beetle. Now considered a hero in training and then an intern due to his super-fly fighting skills. However, his tenure was cut short after Giii destroyed the Brooklyn Bridge. As a result, Hero Intern was forced to start all over again. As of the Kaiju Big Battel: The TV Pilot, the Hero Intern exacted revenge on Giii and possibly earned his hero stripes.
• Tad Bradley, the Hawaiian Paddler - A surfer/martial artist/chicken from Hawaii who won a 50-State Hero Invitational and defeated Giii the Space Pirate during his debut match at Shpadoinkel Mania XVIII.
• Super Wrong - The disco dancing, time traveling hero known for his flamboyant ring entrance and horrible win-loss record. He is the leader of the splinter hero group known as the Yokusuka Jump Squadron. He is often accompanied by (in actuality carrying) a yellow wig-wearing pink stuffed teddy bear named "Pink Teddy Bear."
• The Yokusuka Jump Squadron - A biker gang/dance troupe lead by Super Wrong after he quit the Kaiju Heroes. The Squadron consists of Super Wrong, Pink Teddy Bear, the "3-2-1 Dancers", and Dusto Bunny. At Shpadoinkel Mania XVIII, Dusto Bunny was forced to quit the Kaiju Heroes after losing to Super Wrong and his new faction. However, during the time slip incident involving SDS-1 at the G4TV pilot: after Dusto Bunny soundly defeated the Jump Squadron, he graciously joins their ranks. The Jump Squadron then returns the favor by re-joining the Heroes.
• Steam-Powered Tentacle Boulder - The newest Hero and unofficial protector of Colorado. It is exactly what it's name says it is. It's debut match at the G4TV Pilot was interupted by Giii the Space Pirate, crashing the inaugural cermonies and thus did not have the chance to be seen by the public. It's first appearance was as number 10 in the "Hot 10 at 10" countdown on Louden's "Kaiju360" webshow.
• Club Sandwich - Melee weapon-wielding, delicatessen-staple of vigilante justice. Club Sandwich was brutally killed in cold mayo by Kung-Fu Chicken Noodle.

Dr. Cube's Posse

• Dr. Cube - A forgotten Nazi experiment-come-plastic surgeon, disfigured in a surgical accident. As a result, he wears a mask: a white cube with frowning features.
• Dino Kang Jr. - A lazy clone of Dino Kang's dead mother, created by Dr. Cube. Gets along, and often seen doing commentary with both Referee Jingi and Louden Noxious.
• Gomi-man - A toxic pile of fighting trash from Jersey City.
• The Grudyin - A creature concocted by Dr. Cube from a combination of gorilla and angler fish DNA. Teaming with Hell Monkey, they became The Apes of Wraths.
• Hell Monkey - A one-eyed demon monkey who hunts the Plantain Twins due to their resemblance to bananas. At All-Out War!, Hell Monkey won the match and decided to keep the team name Apes of Wraths. He and the Grudyin made up and are continuing their primal rage for Dr. Cube.
• Marutambo - A one-armed fighting tree.
• Minions - Various brainless human creations of Dr. Cube.
• Super Minions - Like Minions, only Super-ized. Two recognizable Super Minions are #96 and #107. #96 had cinder blocks for his hands, feet and helmet . #107 is 7 feet tall and has spikes over his orange arms.
• Napalean - A creation of Dr. Cube. The largest of all the Kaiju monsters.
• Polo Cato - A large fighting cat-skunk mutant with an odor as bad as his creator.
• SDS-1 a.k.a. Super Dimensional Slug One - A giant slug designed as a Nazi weapon who time-travelled forward to the present day and fell under Dr. Cube's control.
• Silver Potato - A human given super-powers in a freak accident. At Anime Boston 2006, Silver Potato killed Pablo Plantain and has turned traitor by attacking the Kaiju Heroes.
• Midori no Kaiju - A giant lizard creature killed by Kung-Fu Chicken Noodle.
• Multi-Moog - A giant, multi-faced, hog-like creature that was killed by Slo Feng.
• Craw - The most powerful super minion who wears an orange shirt instead of blue.
• Shrooma Tango - An evil fungus who is one of Dr. Cube's newest creations.

Team Space Bug

Consists of insectoid Kaiju. Space Bugs hate the Heroes and hate Dr. Cube's Posse the worst.

• Uchu Chu - Leader of Team Space Bug, a Kaiju from the planet Xertoid. He loves to get drunk on Royal Jelly. Rumor has it that he may secretly be American Beetle's father, but he denies it.
• Mung Wun - A female bug, not actually from space, who spits digestive juices at her enemies. Mother of The Swarm.
• Sky Deviler - A large one-eyed Kaiju with a small cranial capacity and the ability to devour anything it sees without considering the consequences of doing so. When Sky Deviler died at the end of the Shocking Truth DVD, it gave birth to a mysterious egg which was stolen by The Posse. Dr Cube used an incubator to hatch it during Shpadoinkel Mania XVII, much to the despair of Uchu Chu.
• Mota Naru - A failed Soviet experiment involving fire ants sent to the planet Mercury.
• Dai Hachi Hachi - A rookie bee/human hybrid from outer space. Somehwat of an enigma to Team Space Bug due to his suspicious behavior.
• The Swarm - Sons and daughters of Uchu Chu (and possibly American Beetle) who use taser spears called "Sting Sticks" to attack their enemies.

The Rogues

Although unpredictable in nature, the Rogues hate all the Kaiju factions, including Kaiju in their own category. The only exception are the Sea Amigos.

• Kung-Fu Chicken Noodle - A Cantonese worker who gained super-powers (and an armored soup can, which he wears) after falling into a vat of chicken noodle soup in a failed suicide attempt. Due to both his ability inside the ring and the fact that he has killed at least two Kaiju, he is considered one of the most dangerous kaiju on Earth. He is the current KBB champion as of the G4 TV Pilot, which took place on February 21, 2007. Has been known to make temporary alliances with both the Heroes and Cube's Posse, but rarely with Team Space Bug.
• Unibouzu - Gained super-powers and turned into a giant sea urchin after being bitten by an atomic sea urchin. Incredibly strong, but incredibly stupid. Undisputed leader of the "Sea Amigos" with Call-Me-Kevin and Cycloptopuss.
• D.W. Cycloptopuss III - A sea monster with few friends and many enemies. Makes up one of the three members of the unofficial "Sea Amigos" faction, along with Call-Me-Kevin and Unibouzu. At Shpadoinkelmania, Cycloptopuss and Hell Monkey become the first ever Kaiju Big Battel Tag Team Champions and are dubbed "The One-Eyed Monsters".
• Call-Me-Kevin - Hurled from his home planet by an explosion, he lost his memory during the centuries it took him to arrive on Earth. Has never won a Kaiju Big Battel upon his arrival. He joins the "Sea Amigos" and is taken under the wing (or tentacle) of Unibouzu.
• CIA Plantains - Imposters created by the CIA to ruin the good name of Los Plantanos and keep the Sock Puppet Dictator's government in power.
• Vegetius - A giant bird-turtle creature from a South Pacific island, the most beast-like of all the Kaiju.
• Beefy L'Ox - a red-horned bull Kaiju that was killed by Slo Feng in the K.I.T (A tournament held in 2003, which led to the Philly Factory Fighto match of Slo Feng and American Beetle vs Sky Deviler and Mota Naru).

• Giii the Space Pirate - A new alien invader who joined the KBB to "Steal the essance of Kaiju". Giii appears to be an opportunist, joining any team that offers him the right amount of money. At Shpadoinkel Mania XVII, Giii was defeated at the hands of a Kaiju hero newcomer from Hawaii called "Tad Bradley, the Hawaiian Paddler".
• French Toast - Two thousand tons of rage in a raspberry beret unleashed upon the world by France's top chefs.

Human Co-Stars

These are the humans who are a part of Kaiju Big Battel in some way, but do not fight (for the most part).

• The Commissioner - The overseer of all Kaiju Big Battel functions.
• Louden Noxious - The announcer for Kaiju Big Battel and The Commissioner's nephew. At All-Out War!, Louden was forced to substitute for Super Wrong and actually won his first Fighto against Call-Me-Kevin with a top rope Diving headbutt.
• Beav Wallace, A.K.A. "The Beav" - Louden's sidekick and co-commentator.
• Referee Jingi - The official Kaiju Big Battel Referee.
• Andy Salbino - A Kaiju Big Battel construction worker, who is responsible for creating the buildings seen in a fighto cityscape, and reconstructing them after the battel.
• Anna Dramina - A princess from outer space who only fights when attacked. Her relationship with her boyfriend Silver Potato is uncertain ever since he betrayed the Kaiju Heroes.
• Kaiju Regulatory Commission - Kaiju Big Battel's answer to the United Nations that uncovered the threat of monster battels on Earth and have banded together to keep Earth safe from evil Kaiju.

Funfacts

• Louden's name is a pun on the phrase "loud and obnoxious" like some commentators are.
• Dai Hachi Hachi means "8th bee" in Japanese.
• Uchu Chu means "space bug" in Japanese.
• Los Plantanos Imposters can also be called "Los Platanos" since "platano" is Spanish for "banana." Their real names are Andre and Rodney as mentioned in a pop-up during the "Plantanos vs. Plantanos" Battel.
• The C.I.A Plantains were involved in the KBB longer then the actual South American freedom fighters. Early in Kaiju history, the Tropical Grudge Match against Los Plantanos and the yellow impostor plantains (then known as the Plantain Twins) took place. The result was the expultion of the impostor plantains, and the restoration of Los Plantanos' good name.
• Pro-Wrestling personality and veteran commentator Joel Gertner made a guest appearance at "All Out War!", calling the impromptu match between Louden Noxious and Call-Me-Kevin.

External links

• Official Kaiju Big Battel website