User:Liarsenal
Andrew Stadler, born Andrew Allan Stadler (sometimes referred to as Studler), is a student, amatuer graphic designer, and filthy mcnasty who currently lives in Sahuarita, Arizona which is essentially the same thing as Green Valley, Arizona which is essentially the same thing as a retirement home. He is most notably known for his ravishing good looks and immense knowledge of professional wrestling.
Stomping Grounds
Stadler was born on March 14, 1988 in Riverside, California. From there on he wreaked havoc in the Southern California region including the greater areas of Anaheim, Los Angeles, and San Francisco. At the ripe age of 1 Stadler was told he was moving to Erie, Pennsylvania. Young Andrew did not take the news so well. He would soon have to triumph and make new baby friends. File:Babyandrew2.jpg
"I Guess This is Growing Up"
After a brief stop in the Pennsylvania area, Stadler moved to Middletown, Maryland where he would reside for 5 years. He didn't adapt so well and had to overcome a lot of adversity in his younger years. One child on his block was quoted saying:
"Oh Stadler? That kid is a fucking loner. He's a complete joke and we don't want anything to do with him."
It was at this time young Andrew fell into a deep depression and developed symptoms of chest pains, fatigue, and extreme weight gain. As every young child most often does (unless you're one of the one's that killed yourself), Stadler was on the rebound and soon began to "pimp the system" so to speak. Before most boys' prime, Stadler was getting busy with girls well before he knew what getting busy was all about.
Stabbing Westward, Uhh What?
At the age of 8 Andrew was told by his parents he would be starting a new life in Phoenix, Arizona. This news didn't really stun Andrew too much as he was used to moving around by now and didn't have many friends. During the summer of 1996 Andrew would start his revolution of dominating the state of Arizona.
Right away in the Grand Canyon State Andrew started his new life in a Catholic private school. He made friends quickly, but grew weary of the place due to an enormous amount of homework. This stop was very brief much to Stadler's surprise because his father (Michael) got a new job in Tucson, Arizona. Just 2 months after moving to Arizona, Andrew would move south and delve deep into the mystical world of Tucson.
It was in Tucson, Arizona where Andrew would spend 10 years of his life. These were the best and worst 10 years of his life. He attended Mesa Verde Elementary, Cross Middle School, and Canyon Del Oro High School.
Later Years and Struggle For Productivity
After graduating in May of 2006 Andrew worked at Gameworks Studio in the Foothills Mall. Most of that time was spent laughing at kids who played Dance Dance Revolution or assisting obnoxious soccer moms in birthday parties. Other than that he really didn't do anything at all during the summer other than eat and breath. Some critics say that Stadler was:
"A lazy oaf who needed to get his act together."
Stadler's response to this was:
"FTW, RAWR."
After the summer of 2006 Andrew started his less-than-mediocre attempt at higher education when he attended Pima Community College. Stadler has been on the record for saying that he is undecided in what he wants to do with his life and says he "doesn't really care right now".
The God Controversy
Much to many people's surprise Andrew has his own religion. He refers to it as Studlerism and so far the religion holds 1 member.
In the winter of 2001, Stadler experienced many horrifying threats including gouging of the eyes, stabbing to the groin, and removal of his DVD collection.
Stadler responded by singing:
"It's my liiiiiiife, it's now or never and I ain't gonna live forever."
Stadler's singing antics disrupted the healthy mood of the community because everyone knows Bon Jovi sucks.
Friend, Karina Walker was recently dubbed Goddess of Potato Salad in the Church of Studler.
The Chiodos Fued
Like everyone else, Andrew is an avid music fan. He has been known to sporadically voice his opinion on today's industry. Most recently he was involved in a verbal scuffle with screamo, post-hardcore band Chiodos's frontman, Craig Owens.
"I don't care what the fuck you say. Craig Owens and the rest of Chiodos are the shittiest musicians since The Eagles. It's all about the fashion. I bet if I met them in a dark alley somewhere they would want to straighten my hair and give me a makeover." - Andrew Stadler, Warped Tour, 2006
Owens, frustrated, responded with:
"Listen, I do love music, but Stadler is right about one thing. Fashion: it's my number one reason for living. In fact, if we met in a dark alley I wouldn't fight him because I wear girl pants."
Later on, Owens challenged Studler to a "scream-off". Stadler responded with:
"That's the fucking stupidest thing I've ever heard. That's worse than the sequel to The Sandlot."
Trivia
- Andrew is a lacto-ovo vegetarian.
- Andrew is married to Paramore frontwoman, Haley Williams.
- Andrew is afraid of hippopotamuses.
- Andrew once met all members of the band New Found Glory.
- Andrew's father, Michael, once took an art history course with Hall of Fame quaterback Joe Montana at the University of Notre Dame.
- Andrew has been on record many times for saying he would go gay for actor, Johnny Depp.
- Andrew's favorite song of all-time is "Kiss From a Rose" by Seal.
- Andrew once dueled actor Christian Bale in a walk-off and lost.