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Revision as of 16:26, 18 June 2007 by Jvv62(talk | contribs)(conflict with Aga Khan III bio)
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Here are some suggestions on how this article could be improved:
Lead
2-3 sentences should be added summarizing the main points of the rest of the article (see WP:LEAD for more info)
Added a few more sentences to the lead - Erdling 08:45, 11 May 2007 (UTC)
Early Life and Family
The article could benefit from more contextual information in this section. What was going on in Mahallat, Iran and the wider word when he was born? Describe the family circumstances that he was born into - it was an important family in the region at that time.
Added information about the context of his family - Erdling 08:45, 11 May 2007 (UTC)
Describe the ancestry of both his parents (if you can find the information). His father traced his lineage back to the Prophet Muhammad, while his mother came from a royal Persian lineage.
Added information about the ancestry of his parents - Erdling 08:45, 11 May 2007 (UTC)
Activities After Succession to the Imamat
Consider renaming this section to be more generic - perhaps The Ismaili Imamat
Good suggestion...done! - Erdling 08:45, 11 May 2007 (UTC)
Broaden the scope of this section to describe his work on behalf of the Ismaili Imamat both during and prior to his accession to the Imamat.
Added more detail about his work - Erdling 08:45, 11 May 2007 (UTC)
What was the impact of the Imamat on the Ismaili community and wider society during his lifetime?
Added a bit more information about the impact of his work - Erdling 08:45, 11 May 2007 (UTC)
Ni‘mat Allāhīs
The Ni‘mat Allāhīs are only one community with whom Aqa Ali Shah had relations. Consider renaming and broadening this section.
Good suggestion...done! - Erdling 08:45, 11 May 2007 (UTC)
Add more context around the Ni‘mat Allāhīs - their common heritage and long standing relations with Aqa Ali Shah's family would be interesting to point out.
Good suggestion....added a bit more information about context - Erdling 08:45, 11 May 2007 (UTC)
Marriages and Children
Shams al-Muluk, was a Persian princess - there ought to be an interesting story here...
Added a bit more information about her - Erdling 08:45, 11 May 2007 (UTC)
Passing Away and Succession
What was Aqa Ali Shah's legacy and how is he remembered?
Added a bit of information about how he is remembered - Erdling 09:36, 11 May 2007 (UTC)
This section could tie together the impact described in the previous sections.
Added a few details to tie the section to previous ones - Erdling 09:36, 11 May 2007 (UTC)
Apparently he has a mausoleum in Najaf - perhaps there is info on this?
Added a bit more information about the mausoleum - Erdling 08:45, 11 May 2007 (UTC)
Consider moving the sportsman info to another section about personal hobbies and character (hopefully there is enough information on this...)
Good suggestion....done! - Erdling 08:45, 11 May 2007 (UTC)
