Tom Barnard

Tom Barnard (b. November 7, 1951) is a Minneapolis/St. Paul radio talk show host and former voice-over talent. Barnard was born in Long Prairie, Minnesota and raised in North Minneapolis. He is currently the host of The KQ Morning Show, which airs on KQRS from 5:30 to 9:20 AM Monday through Friday.

History

Before coming to KQRS, Barnard worked at numerous stations including WDGY and KSTP (as "The Catman"). For most of the 1980s, Barnard was the booth announcer for KSTP-TV. Barnard and his wife Kathryn Brandt live with their two children in Golden Valley, Minnesota.

Barnard, and then-partner Dan Culhane, started the Tom and Dan show in 1986 featuring sports reports from WCCO-TV sports anchor Mark Rosen. At one point the team of Barnard and Culhane spearheaded a fairly successful write-in campaign to elect Rosen For Governor of Minnesota. Culhane and Rosen were eventually pushed out of the broadcast in a succession of personnel moves which also resulted in the departure of Tony Lee (soundman and producer). For years the broadcast has been the highest-rated morning radio show in Minnesota, and holds the distinction of the highest ratings of any morning show in a local market nationwide.

Although he has recently retired from voice-over work, for many years Barnard's voice was heard in various markets, introducing shows and appearing on commercials. Rumor has it that he was offered but turned down the chance to become the narrator of NFL Films, replacing the legendary John Facenda upon his death in 1984. In 2006, he received a Marconi award for his broadcasting popularity.

Despite his enormous popularity in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area and fame from his voice-over career, Barnard is very reclusive, refusing virtually all media interviews and rarely making public appearances. However, the crew of the KQRS Morning Show does make an annual trip to Las Vegas in November, which brings in enough Minnesota fans of the show to fill an entire hotel.

Barnard has been overweight for several years; however he recently noted that he began a regular exercise regimen to lose weight. Since starting it, he has lost nearly 80 pounds. Barnard occasionally discusses his long bike rides around various parts of the Twin Cities area.

With the recent introduction of the podcasting technology, the show has reached national and international audiences, but Barnard has allegedly rejected numerous offers to nationally syndicate the show. Regardless of the growth in his show's market, Barnard continuously assures listeners that "The Morning Show" will maintain its focus on the news, weather, sports and traffic of the Twin Cities.

Barnard won the 2006 Marconi award for Large Man Personality of the Year. The Marconi awards recognize excellence in radio broadcasting.

Politics

Barnard has affiliations with many politicians including Minnesota Senator Norm Coleman, Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty and is friends with variety of personalities from network news organizations. In the fall of 2002 Barnard made comments about Minnesota Senator Paul Wellstone, joking that he wished Wellstone would "drop dead". Barnard had felt that Paul Wellstone used controversy with the KQRS morning show for his own political gain. Barnard often quotes Wellstone as "my proudest moment ever was standing up to the KQ Morning Show". After the senator died in a small plane crash days before the 2002 senate election, Barnard came under fire by Star Tribune gossip columnist Cheryl Johnson for his comments.

Independence Party Minnesota Governor, Jesse Ventura, was once a regular guest on the show. When he left to work for another radio station, Barnard would mock and make fun of him. He stopped shortly before the 1998 election and congratulated Ventura upon winning the governorship in 1998, but the two had a falling out (believed to be over Ventura promoting his books on the competing Howard Stern Show shortly afterward and Ventura became the target of numerous jokes.

Religious views

Barnard often states that he was raised Roman-Catholic and attended a religious school (St. Anne's in North Minneapolis) as a child. Despite these early roots he routinely criticizes a wide gamut of religious beliefs on the show. Barnard claims he figured out the errors of Catholicism when he was about six years old. While he has explicitly stated that he is not on the radio to air his religious beliefs, based on his commentary over the years it can be assumed the he is either atheist or agnostic. During an October 10, 2006 discussion over the Pope Benedict XVI Islam controversy, Barnard repeatedly stated, "those are my beliefs: leave me alone!". During a February 15, 2007 broadcast he called the Bible a "2,000 page sleeping pill," which he agreed was true statement in a February 27, 2007 broadcast after learning of this quote on Wikipedia, mistakenly attributed as a quote from Homer Simpson, when actually it was said by the character Reverend Timothy Lovejoy.

Controversy

Barnard has been criticized by some in the local community for remarks that they have regarded as racist. In 1998, he angered Minnesota's large Hmong community for his comments (and the character Tak, whose delivery was in a mock-Asian accent) about a news story regarding the murder of a newborn baby by its 13-year-old Hmong mother. Despite the fact that the character Tak was actually voiced by Tony Lee, a former member of the KQRS morning show, Barnard apologized for the comments in early 1999. Despite this and other controversies, Barnard holds his ground, and refuses to apologize to his critics.

Barnard angered the Somali community in 1998 over remarks made following the murder of a Somali cab driver. The remarks came after news reports showed angry Somali men claiming that there is "no justice in America". Star Tribune gossip columnist Cheryl Johnson quoted Barnard's comments which some believe inspired the rally. According to the hosts of the morning show, the demonstrators sped through streets, even speeding next to elementary school buses with their "stop" arm extended to protest at the station of KQRS in Golden Valley. Angry Somali men rallied at the radio station shouting, "Tom Barnard, this is for you!". According to the morning show and articles in the Star Tribune in the days following, many of the demonstrators held up the Cheryl Johnson article.

Barnard has also criticized Hip Hop culture for what he believes is wrongfully portraying gang violence as acceptable, especially in the neighborhood he once grew up in. He believes local officials in Minneapolis refused for years to acknowledge that Minneapolis had a gang problem, despite many well-known crimes that started in the mid-1980s. Barnard also has been critical of community activists, who criticize police action in predominantly ethnic neighborhoods and blame police for their actions. Most notable was in 2003 when an African-American man Steven Porter falsely accused police of abusing him with a toilet plunger. It was later proven Porter lied about the claims.

Other KQRS Morning Show Crew members

- Terri Traen: The only on-air female crew member. Unofficial "co-host" of Barnard's. Traen serves as the "Tommy Smothers" to Barnard's "Dick" while discussing the news of the day. Despite this, she seems to take it all in stride and frequently comes back with just as many double-entendres as the men on the show. One of Traen's key traits on the show is to tell jokes, most of which are not funny and often result in a cricket sound effect. Traen has in the past made several gaffes, including reporting that a Saint Florian's Cross on a license plate indicates the driver is a repeat DWI offender (when in fact it designates membership or employment with a fire department). In another incident, which occurred early in a show in 2002, Traen caused a broadcast snafu that eventually led to five minutes of dead air. Fans have noted that Traen has large breasts, which is referenced numerous times by the show crew and listeners who call/write in. However, she doesn't appear to flaunt this fact, such as in many of the photos taken of her. Also has her own portion of the KQRS website dedicated to men she finds attractive called "Terri's Hot Studs". Traen serves as a typically Minnesotan provincial foil to Tom Barnard's quasi-urbane emanations. She also helps to promote the show by appearing in numerous spots (such as stores) throughout the Twin Cities. As a Roman Catholic, Traen often defends the church when others, who may also be Catholic, are more eager to criticize it.

- Bryce Crousore: The show's producer who also appears on-air. A recovered drug addict who freely speaks about his addiction and recovery. Often teased about his unabashed love for pornography and porn stars. Frequently references pornographic films and websites and is also teased when women who claim to have large breasts call in because it gets him aroused.

- Mike 'Stretch' Gelfand: Short (hence 'Stretch') , middle-aged, Jewish and liberal, provides a stark contrast to the rest of the show's largely conservative views. Often uses wit or dry humor when commenting on an issue and runs the show's "Dead Pool" with listeners as well as a weekly football pick segment. Several sound bytes of Stretch are used when other crew members are talking to him or about him, such as "You're a pain in the ass!", "I am a woman", and "Da... da da da da, da da da". Mike is also an avid horse racing fan and provides picks on a regular basis at Canterbury Park.

- Phillip 'Philly Dawg' Wise: A former NY Jets/Vikings player and the lone African-American crew member who is almost always referenced when a news segment or topic is about African-Americans (who Barnard jokingly refers to as "Philly's cousins"). Despite the show's racial humor element, Wise and Barnard have been good friends since childhood. Wise is often the subject of racial teasing and plays into the jokes, referring to himself as "a black man in America today".

- Bob 'Sanny' Sansevere: Sports columnist for the Pioneer Press who gives daily local and national sports updates and also weighs in on other show issues being discussed. Sansevere had served as a councilmember in the City of Orono, MN. He has his own social commentary segment on the local ABC affiliate KSTP Channel 5 titled "Sansevere Sounds Off".

- Brian Zepp: The show's sound byte man who like Crousore is very open about his love for beautiful, large-chested women.

- Jeff Passolt: Local (FOX 9) news co-anchor who, like Sansevere provides insight on news and sports topics being discussed. He was once urged by Barnard to run for political office (in much the same manner as Mark Rosen years earlier). Passolt is also responsible for coining the famous "I Have To Poop" phrase that can be heard periodically on the show.

-Justin Severson: (Sometimes referred to as "Justina") The show's call screener who also appears on air. Despite the fact that he is married, he is accused of being a homosexual on air, particularly by Brian and Bryce. This can probably be attributed to him being a swimmer in high school and thus having to wear Speedos. Also moonlights as a beer vendor at Minnesota Twins and Minnesota Wild games.

Popular/recurring KQ Morning Show segments

- Real _____ Or Not: A game show-style contest in which listeners (usually three) play against each other. Barnard will read them a clue or have them listen to a soundbite and the listener has to guess if what they heard was real or made up. While the segment is pitched as a contest, there is a "one tie, all tie" clause in which if any one player ties another, everyone wins the prize. Predictably, this almost always happens. Several variations used have been "Real Porno Movie Title Or Not" and "Real Tabloid Headline Or Not".

- Listener's Segment: Usually beginning between 7:30-8:00 AM, the show has a segment dedicated entirely to listener mail. Mail read on-air often includes references to recently covered stories by the show or humorous moments.

- Vegas Show: One time a year, usually in November, the show travels to and broadcasts live from Las Vegas. Even though Las Vegas is on Pacific time, the show still comes on at its regular time. Many KQ listeners travel with the show to Vegas and listen live as it is broadcast from a hotel conference room. Several running gags in regards to the Vegas show is how drunk all the listeners in attendance (as well as the show members) are despite it running from 3:30-7:20 AM as well as women flashing their breasts and comparing size. Comedian Louie Anderson, a Minnesota native and good friend of Barnard who has a regular show in Las Vegas, frequently drops by.

- Football Picks: Show members Gelfand and Wise make weekly picks on that week's NFL action. Stretch and Wise keep a running total of how their picks (made from an imaginary pool of money) do during the season.

- Stretch's Dead Pool: Shortly after New Year's, Gelfand, the show crew and several listeners participate in a contest picking people who they believe will die within the current year. The pool is run in a sports draft format with each person picking a predicted death in order.

- Dead or Not Dead: A contest where callers are asked whether a celebrity/athlete/public figure, usually somewhat obscure, is alive or not. Dead celebrities are usually recently deceased, and living ones are usually old, ailing or whose popularity has waned.

- Sound Bites: Like many radio shows, KQRS has a wide variety of sound bites that are played by Zepp at various times during the show. Several of these mock the show members themselves. For example, Barnard once read a news story that had quoted someone as saying "I love being gay", while another he read starts out with "When I was 17 I enjoyed a summer experimenting with guys.". The recordings of these are now played at various times to tease Barnard. Others include famous celebrity slip ups and racial humor such as a soundbite with an African-American man saying "where all the white women at?" which is actually a line from the movie Blazing Saddles. Many of the sound bites are from popular television shows such as South Park, The Simpsons, The Office, and Da Ali G Show.

- Mike Evans Live From Hollywood: Celebrity gossip reporter Mike Evans calls in (typically from his home in Palm Springs, CA) and reports the latest celebrity gossip as well as reviews new and upcoming movies. Evans has gained popularity with his "Aloha Friday" song which he sings when reporting on Fridays. Evans is often made fun of by the crew for pronouncing celebrity names and other words wrong, most recently that of comedian Frank Caliendo and Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger.

- The Arrest: An actual audio recording of an American-African man being arrested by Minneapolis police. The man is clearly unhappy with his situation and berates the arresting officers, refusing to give them his personal information. Highlights include him noting his name as "Bitch", then spelling it "b-i-c-h" when asked to by the officer. Many letters in the aforementioned Listener's Segment begin with 'Dear KQ Biches'. The man also refers to the officer as "yo mammy" several times and when asked by the police if he has ever been arrested before, he repiles "yup!...for kicking white folks' ass". [1]

- You Kicked My Dog: The KQ Morning Show is one of few today who still reference the cult Internet comedy prank call You Kicked My Dog. Many soundbites from this call are used by the crew, most notably the line "you know damn right!" which is often played when talking or reading a newswire story about terrorists.

- Cat Lady : A mentally unsound woman calls 911 to request that officers be sent to her home to take her cat away because it is "scared". She goes on to tell the operator to go fly a kite with a hole in it and that she should be put to sleep. She becomes enraged that the operator would question her reasoning abilities and threatens her several times.

- Cash Call: Audio of Ken Thomas at WJJY in Brainerd, Minnesota calling people to see if they can guess at a dollar amount to win that amount. Many of the sound bites used in the show come from this mix of people whom Thomas called throughout the years. These include the phrases "$17, hows that?," "a pair of choppers," "anybody can come," "not interested" and "are you gay?"

- The Chucker: Played by former KQ DJ John "Johnny Rock" Lassman. A fictional morning DJ From "P-P-Power 92 radio" whose bit is to confuse the interviewee with someone that works with them, has a similar last name, or is the complete opposite of the subject's personality. He is known for his "a-he-he-he-he" laugh and the phrase "Can't thank you enough for all the time." He has interviewed Jim Nabors (Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C., Andy Griffith Show), George Carlin (confused with Gabe Kaplan), Rob Schneider (confused with Dana Carvey), Keanu Reeves (confused with Christopher Reeve), George Lindsey (Andy Griffith), a Christian comic (whom he told several dirty jokes to), "Michael Jackson" (actually a Michael Jackson that lived in Chicago whose name he got from the phone book) and former Twin's Second Baseman "Chuck Knoblar" (Chuck Knoblauch). This was a regular bit, but is not exclusive to KQRS.

- Brad Blanks: Australian-born celebrity reporter Brad Blanks calls in and reports to the crew on various celebrity functions and provides audio of several celebrities he interviewed at that function. Blanks' reports differ from Mike Evans in that Evans does not have audio interviews of celebrities and only provides gossip from around Hollywood.

External links

• KQRS Morning Show (official site)
• Article from the Minnesota Daily describing some of Barnard's controversial remarks on air
• Radiotapes.com Aircheck samples of Tom Barnard's radio career including WDGY-AM as "Catman," KQRS "Cat and Kincaid" and additional current airchecks from the KQRS Morning Show.