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This is an old revision of this page, as edited by Jeronimo (talk | contribs) at 19:37, 2 August 2006 (→[[Darjeeling]]). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

Darjeeling

A town in the lower Himalaya in India, known for the Darjeeling tea produced in the area, the UNESCO World Heritage Site of Darjeeling Himalayan Railway and also as a tourist destination. The article underwent major edits since April this year and a peer review. Please help to make this article a Featured Article. Thanks a lot. Regards.--Dwaipayan (talk) 17:42, 30 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Reply. "Before the British arrived, the forests of the region, still preserved to a certain extent today in forest reserves, were home to a handful of Lepcha woodsmen."[1]. Not signicant. Civilization existed in India for thousands of year, true. But not all over India. Anyway, we'll try to find out if anything significant happened before the British came, from respectable sources. Regards.--Dwaipayan (talk) 19:30, 30 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
I strongly agree with Dwaipayan. Darjeeling, as with cities such as Bombay, Calcutta were mainly developed by the British. Darjeeling itself is a hill station, meant as a refuge for British soldiers. Prior to that, there were a few villages in the area. Rama's arrow 20:35, 30 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Object. A thorough copy-edit is needed. I looked at the very beginning of the History section to see about the claim made above, and I saw this as the opening sentence: "Till early nineteenth century, the area around Darjeeling was part of the kingdom of Sikkim." 'Till' is not an English word in this sense (it's a contraction for 'until'), and an article was missing. If the very first sentence I see in the article has two grammatical errors, I must object on the grounds of poor grammar. (I am also skeptical of the claim that nothing happened there before the 1800s, but I'll leave that out of this objection.) —Cuiviénen 20:16, 30 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Please see this. I've copyedited the article and fixed your objections. Rama's arrow 22:00, 30 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Comment. As someone totally unconnected to the article, till is not a contraction. Estrellador* 10:48, 31 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Reply. That was an interesting link. History of till and untill. Anyway, does the usage in the article sound ok now? "Until the early..." Hope it is grammatically correct. Regards.--Dwaipayan (talk) 11:27, 31 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, you're right. I was wrong. However, it was still missing an article. That said, I trust that a copyedit has now been done, so I'm removing my objection. It looks like a good article otherwise. —Cuiviénen 17:02, 31 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support Beautifully written with great pictures. A copyedit won't hurt, but quite good nevertheless. Some minor nits to pick:
  1. In the lead "Western-style public schools" should probably be "British style...", public school means something totally different in US, for example.
  2. "Darjeeling receives almost all the television channels that are received by the rest of the country." -- The sentence makes little sense until one sees that Darjeeling recieves very few radio channels, and the contrast between radio and TV is the information here. But the radio statement is made much later.
  3. "According to the Bureau of Indian Standards, the town falls under seismic zone-IV, (in a scale of I to V, in order of increasing proneness to earthquakes)[14]", but the reference provided seems to cite the Director of Nuclear Science Centre.

--ppm 17:00, 31 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

  • Object. Not bad, but I have a few minor points: Jeronimo 18:57, 31 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    • Why is "Education and Media" not split up? It is basically two paragraphs, one on Education, one on Media. The same can be said of "Economy and Transport", "Government and Utility Services" and "Geography and Climate".
    • The population is listed as "1,07,530". Should it be 107,530 or something else?
    • The external links list could be better annotated, and perhaps be shortened.

Reply - Breaking up those sections will make them too short and throw the format out of order. They have been grouped on basis of similar topics - "Government and utilities" are closely linked, as are "Geography and climate," "Economy and transport." I've fixed the population notation and shortened the external links. Rama's arrow 21:14, 31 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

      • Sorry, I still think these section should be separated. They're not too short on their own, and if they were, just throwing short sections together to make it appear long is bad practice, and a proper system of sections is one of the FA requirements. The other fixes look good. Jeronimo 19:37, 2 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Object—needs a thorough copy-edit. I wonder whether the reviewers above who are gushing about it have read the text closely. Fresh eyes are required to work this prose up to FA standards. There's quite a way to go. Let's take a look at the first paragraph, which should be your showcase.
"Darjeeling is a town and hill station in the Indian state of West Bengal. It is the headquarters of Darjeeling district, situated in the Shiwalik Hills (on the lower range of the Himalaya) at, at an average elevation of 2,134 m above sea level. Once ruled by the Kingdom of Sikkim, the Darjeeling region was converted into a hill station by the British East India Company in the 1800s, and came to be known as the "Queen of the Hills". The name Darjeeling is a composition of two the Tibetan words – Dorje ("thunderbolt") and ling ("place"), thus translating as the "Land of the thunderbolt."
    • "It" could refer to West Bengal or Darjeeling.
    • "Region"—It's introduced as a town and hill station; a region is much larger than this.
    • "1800s"—Can you narrow it down from a whole century?
    • "Darjeeling" when at issue as a term should probably be in quotes.
    • "Composition"—do you mean "combination"?
    • Remove the hyphen.
    • "Thus" is wrong here—there's no logical connection, so just remove it.

It's such a wonderful topic. Please do something about it. I have a secret list of copy-editors who are interested in India-related articles; haven't you got one too? Tony 12:02, 2 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Reply 1800s could not be narrowed down, because the process started in 1830s and continued to late 1800s! Other comments have been addressed. Thanks Tony for the comments. We'll be waiting for further comments and will copyedit in the mean time.--Dwaipayan (talk) 12:25, 2 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]
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