Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Nicoll Highway collapse/archive1

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This is an old revision of this page, as edited by KN2731 (talk | contribs) at 01:05, 26 February 2024 (→‎KN2731: didn't rly find much else to point out). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

Nicoll Highway collapse

Nicoll Highway collapse (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

As of 21 May 2024, 02:22 (UTC), this page is active and open for discussion. An FAC coordinator will be responsible for closing the nomination.
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Nominator(s): ZKang123 (talk) 04:45, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The Nicoll Highway collapse was a major construction accident in Singapore which killed four people, and it subsequently led to a revision of safety construction practices in the country. This article has expanded from just a start-class with more information regarding the circumstances of the collapse, the rescue efforts and the subsequent inquiry into the collapse. Despite its significance, there remains few international commentary on the incident (not even a memorial nor further acknowledgement of the collapse), with other independent sources and commentaries only from an engineering perspective rather than a political one. I welcome all to review.--ZKang123 (talk) 04:45, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

  • File:Nicoll_Highway_collapsed_site.png: the unique historic images tag is typically used for cases where the image itself has been the subject of commentary - that doesn't appear to be the case here. Nikkimaria (talk) 06:32, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
How should it be retagged, however? Non-free fair use?--ZKang123 (talk) 06:50, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Yep, the generic tag works. Nikkimaria (talk) 22:32, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Nikkimaria: Fixed.--ZKang123 (talk) 09:38, 26 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Gerald Waldo Luis

Am only able to edit on occassion so apologies for forgetting about your prev FAC lol. Anyway, here are some of my thoughts. I've put invisible comments to divide my comments based on sections.

  • So the first three sentences are repetitive: "...leading to the collapse of... The collapse killed... The collapse was caused..." Maybe change the second sentence to "Four workers were killed and three injured"
  • "and the Nicoll Highway"-- rm "the"
  • In the infobox, the line break between the three officials and the LTA guy leaves an empty space as I see it; feels a bit weird. I suppose it's cuz of the "be"?
  • "from the city"-- I don't think 'the city' is accurate wording here? I mean, Singapore is the city. Just writing it as it is ("central business district") should be fine.
    • Rewrote as Singapore's city centre.--ZKang123 (talk) 07:56, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Also suggest linking it to the specific CBD.
  • Link cut-and-cover, marine clay
  • "The missing included a foreman" --> "They included a foreman", just a sentence ago you effectively established you're talking about the missing.
  • Should kV (kilovolt) be linked?
    • I don't think so, given metre and other measurements aren't linked similarly.--ZKang123 (talk) 07:56, 25 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "After rescuing the three injured people at the site"-- rm "at the site", its repetitive, re: the previous sentence's "at the site."
  • "he praised the coordination between the SCDF and the Public Utilities Board (PUB) for the ongoing rescue efforts. While initially shocked by the incident, Goh was relieved by the small number of fatalities." --> "he praised the coordination between the SCDF and the Public Utilities Board (PUB) for the ongoing rescue effort, and expressed relief by the small number of fatalities." I don't think "While initially shocked by the incident" adds much; it would be noteworthy if he's not shocked instead.
  • "and grouting"-- there is a redirect for grouting
  • "and led to the halting of search operations" --> "and halted the search."
  • "a grown-up daughter and a son"-- I remember an FA guy telling me this is an example of being specific at one point and ambiguous at another. I don't think the "grown-up" part is needed, especially when the other kids are not specified.
  • Hi Gerald Waldo Luis, I was wondering if you felt in a position to either support or oppose this nomination? Obviously, neither is obligatory. Thanks. Gog the Mild (talk) 18:45, 21 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

KN2731

Reviewing per ZKang's request. I hope I'll have enough time to look thoroughly, will probably focus on criteria 1a/b/c; response times may be longer than usual (time difference + schoolwork) so please ping if I don't reply to something in like >3 days. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 01:51, 9 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Stuff on first read through:

  • Infobox 15:30 to 3.30 pm for consistency
  • "At the time, the construction project entailed Singapore's most extensive attempt at cut-and-cover excavation in a 40 m (130 ft) layer of soft marine clay." Couple issues: first, specifying the depth of marine clay makes the record sound oddly specific - perhaps move the numbers to the next sentence, since the rest of the geological context is already there; second, "most extensive" gives the impression of horizontal area instead of vertical depth (which I see is what the report asserts) - should probably be reworded
    • I removed the claim and reworded accordingly.--ZKang123 (talk) 03:30, 10 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • 'constructed using the "bottom-up" method' - why not simply "constructed from the bottom up"?
  • "Gas supply to the damaged pipe was shut off" - as a result of the damage, or as a precautionary measure after it was noticed that the pipe had been damaged?
    • As a precautionary measure. The source says: "When leaking gas was detected, Power Gas shut off the supply to the severed pipe".--ZKang123 (talk) 03:30, 10 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • 66kV missing a space
  • Check Oxford comma use - I see "a wife, two young children, his mother and nine siblings", also "steel king posts, walers and struts"
  • Speaking of walers - I suppose it's a type of structural beam (and not the horse) - is there anywhere to link that to? Also king post can be linked. I guess a reader has enough context to infer the purpose of these structures, but it'd probably be appreciated to get a link that leads to diagrams or clearer descriptions as to what exactly they are.
    • I have to admit myself, even as a Civil engineering major, that I don't know the purpose of these structures. Neither does Wikipedia have such information.--ZKang123 (talk) 03:30, 10 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Adjust rounding for distance conversions in §Incident, to avoid false precision
  • "expressed relief by" --> "expressed relief at"
  • "For monitoring purposes, [etc.]" This sentence looks too closely paraphrased for comfort
  • I was going to ask if the "readings that were still below trigger values at 3 pm" were recorded at exactly 3 pm (which would then need to be written as 3:00 pm), but I see that's Straits Times' issue instead.
  • Check currency rounding (everywhere) - like with the distances, too many significant figures
  • "Prior to the collapse, [etc.]" maybe this sentence could be split somewhere? I get the information fine, but I think we're in the territory where the lack of commas may be too much for some.

@KN2731: Made the fixes. Also Happy Year of the Dragon to you!--ZKang123 (talk) 03:30, 10 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, same to you! Unfortunately studying abroad means I don't get the public holiday and long weekend - I'll hopefully be able to take another look at the prose some time this week. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 01:28, 19 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Second read through:

  • "The CCL tunnels were realigned with Nicoll Highway station, which was rebuilt underneath Republic Avenue south of its original site and was opened on 17 April 2010" - I feel there's something off with the flow here - probably because reading "realigned" gives me the impression that only the tunnels needed to be rebuilt, when the station also needed to be moved? Something like "The CCL tunnels, along with Nicoll Highway station, were rebuilt to the south under Republic Avenue and opened on 17 April 2010" feels less... jarring(?), perhaps.
  • "To prevent the first span triggering the collapse of the 610-metre (2,000 ft) bridge in case of displacement" - I think "To prevent displacement of the first span triggering the collapse of the 610-metre (2,000 ft) bridge" is clearer, unless I'm misinterpreting something
  • "Nine SCDF officers [...] were also awarded the Pingat Keberanian" - remove "also" and move the link to Pingat Keberanian (and its definition) up here, it's currently two sentences further down - I suppose this paragraph was rearranged at some point
  • Link sumps
  • Rounding again - US$150.7 mil should be US$151 mil, 328 ft should be 330 ft

That should be all I have. ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 01:04, 26 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

MyCat

I'll review once the above comments are addressed, just to make sure I don't duplicate anything already said! MyCatIsAChonk (talk) (not me) (also not me) (still no) 02:15, 10 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

  • Heng Yeow Peow, whose body was never recovered - for the lead, I think that clarifying who this is would be helpful: "One of the workers whose body was never recovered, Heng Yeow Peow, was..."
  • Conversions from foreign currency to USD usually requires a citation- unless the conversion is in the source, add a citation for the conversion
  • On 22 June 1956, Kallang Bridge was renamed Merdeka Bridge to reflect "the confidence and aspiration of the people of Singapore". - how is the meaning of the name relevant to this article?
    • Well, since it was initially announced as the Kallang Bridge, so I gave further context in its history.--ZKang123 (talk) 04:06, 12 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • as part of the Mass Rapid Transit's (MRT) Marina Line (MRL) - "Mass Rapid Transit" only needs an article if it's referring to the system- here it seems to be referring to the organization, so I don't believe that "the" is needed
    • It's indeed referring to the MRT system.--ZKang123 (talk) 04:06, 12 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Hence, as a precautionary measure - cut hence
  • said the rescue efforts rather than apportioning blame should be the priority. - switch this around for comprehensibility: "said the rescue efforts should be the priority, rather than apportioning blame."
  • Prime Minister Goh Chok Tong...President of Singapore S R Nathan... - considering that this event happened in Signapore, I think just "President" would work fine- that is, unless there is some title rule I'm unaware of
    • Fixed. (I think the GOCE editor added that).--ZKang123 (talk) 04:06, 12 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Heng Yeow Pheow, LTA foreman - the rest of the article says "Peow" but this says "Pheow"- is this a typo or a spelling convention?
    • There doesn't seem to be a consistent spelling for this guy; some articles use Peow but others uses Pheow (guess it's a transcription thing). Since the Prime Minister Office use Pheow, I will change accordingly.--ZKang123 (talk) 04:06, 12 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • The COI called for 143 witnesses to provide evidence, including 14 experts - who qualifies as an expert here?
    • Source is rather unclear on this.--ZKang123 (talk) 04:06, 12 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Delink Monosys- the main contractors are not redlinked either, so why link the subcontractor?
  • In paragraph 3 of "Resumption and conclusion", strut-waler support system is incorrectly linked- fix it with a link similar to the one in the lead
    • Delinked since it has been similarly linked before.--ZKang123 (talk) 04:06, 12 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • A commemorative stone and plaque have been erected at the former site marking where they believed Heng was buried, and on every anniversary, workers from Kori Construction would visit the site to offer prayers and incense in honour of Heng - tense needs to change to past: "A commemorative stone and plaque were erected at the former site marking where they believed Heng was buried, and on every anniversary, workers from Kori Construction visit the site to offer prayers and incense in honour of Heng"
  • charges under the Factories Act, and Ng Seng Yoong, a qualified personnel from LTA, faced charges under the Building Control Act - do the acts have articles, either on English Wikipedia or Singaporean Wikipedia?

ZKang123, that's all from me, great work. I really like the diagram under "Station relocation and opening"- it's very clear and well-organized. Nice job! MyCatIsAChonk (talk) (not me) (also not me) (still no) 17:24, 10 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Support marvelous work! MyCatIsAChonk (talk) (not me) (also not me) (still no) 20:01, 16 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Source review by Epicgenius

I will do a source review in a bit.

Note: I was the GA reviewer for this article. As part of the GANR process I reviewed the quality of the sources and spot-checked about 10% of the sources. I recommend that a second source reviewer check this article as well. – Epicgenius (talk) 14:55, 16 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

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