Fun with Veal
|"Fun with Veal"|
|South Park episode|
|Episode no.||Season 6
|Directed by||Trey Parker|
|Written by||Trey Parker|
|Original air date||March 27, 2002|
"Fun with Veal" is the 4th episode of the sixth season of the animated television series South Park, and the 83rd episode of the series overall. It was originally aired in the United States on Comedy Central on March 27, 2002. This episode is rated TV-MA in the United States, except on syndicated broadcasts, where the episode is censored and is rated TV-14, instead.
Ms. Choksondik's fourth grade class goes on a field trip to a farm, where they discover that veal is made of baby cows. The boys are horrified (except Cartman, who joyously claims that they look so delicious and juicy), and decide to save the calves from becoming veal. Stan, Kyle, and Butters attempt to convince Cartman to help them rescue the calves and bring them to Stan's house. Cartman doesn't want to unless Kyle kisses his butt; Kyle reluctantly does so, but Cartman farts on his face, then refuses to go. Furious, Kyle attacks him and Cartman is forced to join the others to rescue the calves with his Mission Impossible Breaking and Entering play-set. When they are discovered by their parents the next morning, the boys barricade the door until they are promised the calves will be safe.
The situation quickly escalates into a standoff between the boys (who are declared terrorists), and the police. They live off some food smuggled in by Ms. Cartman, which contains beef jerky and fried chicken. While most of the group eagerly eats this food, Stan does not, as his reason for doing the deed extends far beyond just protecting the calves, so he becomes a vegetarian and eats only apples. Cartman makes fun of this, saying "if you don't eat meat, you become a pussy." Later, Stan comes down with a strange illness, and develops sores on his face.
The boys now have to deal with a professional FBI negotiator, but this task goes straight to Cartman. The Negotiator proves no match for Cartman's powers of manipulation, and he negotiates for guns and ammunition in return for a calf. When the boys get the guns, Kyle and Butters skillfully assemble them in the background while Cartman further manipulates the negotiator for an ICBM. He gets the FDA to change the term for veal to "tortured baby cow", and negotiates for a cattle truck driven by Michael Dorn. Furthermore, Dorn is forced into full Worf makeup and must call Cartman 'Captain'. He is to drive everyone to the airport so they can escape to Mexico, despite being reluctant to do so. All of this, without handing over a single calf. The negotiator, due to easily giving to these ludicrous demands, is promptly fired.
The FBI double-crosses the boys (in which the getaway truck is rigged with balloons underneath that inflate and prevent the truck from moving) and the calves are saved, but are rendered useless, as there is now no market for "little tortured baby cow". Stan has to go to the hospital; it turns out Cartman was correct about the results of not eating meat when Stan's doctor explains that the sores on his face were actually vaginas, which would have turned him into a giant vagina. Later, everyone agrees to go out for hamburgers before the boys are grounded (except for Cartman).
- Randy Marsh compares the boys to "little John Walkers." This is meant as a reference to John Walker Lindh, an American who fought for the Taliban.
- Michael Dorn is famous for playing Lieutenant Commander Worf on Star Trek: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. He is portrayed in this episode wearing a sweatshirt which bears the logo of Pasadena City College, his real-life alma mater. After this episode was broadcast, Dorn revealed that he is a fan of South Park, and would have provided his own voice for the episode had he been asked. Dorn himself is a vegan.
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