Red Hot Catholic Love
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|"Red Hot Catholic Love"|
|South Park episode|
|Episode no.||Season 6
|Directed by||Trey Parker|
|Written by||Trey Parker|
|Original air date||July 3, 2002|
"Red Hot Catholic Love" is the 87th episode of the Comedy Central series South Park. It originally aired on July 3, 2002. It was selected #2 of the "10 South Parks that Changed the World", and was also part of "South Park's Dirty Dozen." In the DVD commentary for this episode, Stone and Parker refer to their irritation towards arguments from more socially liberal/atheistic/secular minded types of people, as well as from socially religious conservatives.
The parents of South Park are a bit concerned when Father Maxi informs them about the Young Men's Catholic Retreat and agree that they do not want their kids to go. They also decide to have a counselor talk to the boys to find out if the priest had been molesting them. The counselor, assuming the children were molested, asks, "Did Father Maxi, at any time, ever try to put something in your butt?" Having never been abused by Father Maxi, the boys are completely baffled about the question's meaning. Cartman has a "brilliant" idea, reasoning she meant it could be possible that eating food through the rectum can cause defecation through the mouth. The other boys (especially Kyle) think it is stupid and disgusting, and Cartman bets him $20 it will work. While the counselor is questioning the boys, all the parents decide to become atheists, as the sexual molestation scandals have destroyed their faith in Catholicism and God in hopes to protect their children.
Meanwhile, Maxi has gathered a meeting of Catholic priests in Colorado to discuss the problem of child molestation. Maxi is appalled by such behavior and wants it to cease entirely, but to Maxi's horror, all of the other priests there have molested their altar boys and want to continue molesting the boys while stopping the boys from telling. Maxi decides he has to go to the Vatican. Once there, he quickly finds the same: priests from all over the world (and from other worlds, specifically an alien race known as the Gelgameks) are molesting children and claim they need to continue the practice to receive gratification. They claim the "Holy Document of Vatican Law" does not prohibit the behavior, so Maxi wants to change the canon law to outlaw sodomy, as well as to allow sex with women. The Cardinal tells him that the Document cannot be changed as no one knows where it is. Maxi decides to try to find it.
Cartman ultimately does defecate out of his mouth, winning the bet and continually boasts the fact to Kyle, who becomes increasingly angered by it. News of this spreads, and it is concluded nationwide that this method of eating is much healthier than the traditional method (with the surgeon general basing that on "absolutely nothing"). The adults of South Park immediately adopt the new method of eating, calling it interorectogestion and even start passing trash cans around at social situations to openly collect the waste (literally "spewing crap from their mouths"), completely disregarding the previously long-held custom that defecation should occur in private.
Meanwhile, Kyle (who considers the new method of eating as stupid and immature) has lost his patience with Cartman's incessant boasting and tells Cartman that he accepts the fact that he beat him fairly. This angers Cartman, as he took great delight in irritating Kyle over his victory and wanted to continue doing so indefinitely. Cartman walks off angrily, even leaving the money behind.
Maxi searches through the lower levels of the Vatican, and goes through a gauntlet in the style of Pitfall! in order to reach the Holy Document. He gets to it and takes it back. The Pope says they must first consult the highest power. He summons the "Queen Spider", which has for centuries been responsible for the pedophilia in the church, and declares that the Holy Document of Vatican Law cannot be changed. Angered by this, Maxi finally snaps and tears the Document in two, and the building begins to crumble. Everyone inside was about to blame Maxi for killing their faith, but he states that the stupid law and rules are dead, not their faith. Maxi stands in front of the ruins, and tells everyone that Catholicism is not about the Holy Document of Vatican Law, molestation, or Queen Spiders, but about being a good person. He says by clouding the moral lessons of the Bible with needless ceremony and so many literal translations, the Vatican has caused people to reject religion and argues that "when they have no mythology to live their lives by, they just start spewing a bunch of crap out of their mouths" (echoing the episode's subplot). The parents, watching this on TV, regain their faith in God, deciding to stop shoving food up their rectum and to start going to church again, wanting to owe God an apology.