Jared Has Aides

"Jared Has Aides"

"Jared Has Aides" is the first episode of the sixth season of the American animated television series South Park. It first aired on Comedy Central in the United States on March 6, 2002. In the episode, weight loss advocate Jared Fogle incurs the wrath of South Park after he announces that he lost weight because he has aides (misinterpreted as AIDS). This leads the boys to try to use Butters as their own advocate for City Wok.

The episode was written by series co-creator Trey Parker. The episode pokes fun at America's obsession with easy weight loss and the idea that a person can lose weight through a diet consisting entirely of fast food.

Plot

South Park is in an uproar when its announced that Jared Fogle, a spokesman for Subway, who rose to fame by losing 180 pounds on what he claims was a diet consisting of Subway submarine sandwiches, is making a public appearance. After Jared gives his speech in South Park, Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Butters go to talk to him and Jared reveals to the boys that he had some help losing weight: a personal trainer and a dietitian, whom he refers to as his "aides". The boys convince Jared that he is being dishonest by not telling people about this and the next day he makes a public announcement that he has "aides"; which everyone assumes means Jared is saying he lost weight because he is infected with the AIDS virus, and Jared is left confused as to why people suddenly repulsed by him.

Cartman, meanwhile, hatches a plot for the four boys to sell their own "Jared" to City Wok, South Park's sole Chinese restaurant: Butters will eat City Wok food in order to gain unhealthy amounts of weight, then lose it, then agree to do a commercial for City Wok in which he credits their food with his weight loss. Butters gains weight, but he is unable to lose it, so Cartman, Stan and Kyle decide to perform liposuction on him. Stephen and Linda, Butters' parents, come home as soon as the boys finish and they quickly exit Butters' house, leaving Butters lying in pain. When Stephen and Linda come inside, they assume Butters has self-performed the liposuction and they ground him.

When Jared announces to the South Park townspeople that he plans to set up the "Aides for Everyone Foundation" and will not stop until "every child in the world has aides", everyone in South Park, again believing that he means AIDS, is furious and they all start chasing him with pitchforks and torches. Meanwhile, Cartman, Stan and Kyle go to Butters' house and ask him to come to City Wok so they can make their money, but Butters tells them he has been grounded both for getting fat and self-performing the liposuction surgery, even though neither of those things were his fault. Butters then tells the boys that his parents call every hour to make sure he is at home, so Cartman decides to stay and answer the phone so that the other three can go to City Wok, shoot the commercial and get the money. Cartman is able to do a pretty good impression of Butters, so Kyle and Stan take Butters with them to City Wok. Stephen and Linda both call their house and both times when Cartman answers, they believe it really is Butters, but Cartman deliberately insults them both to infuriate them.

The townspeople capture Jared and decide to hang him for wanting to give everyone AIDS. When Stan, Kyle and Butters get to City Wok, Tuong Lu Kim, the owner of the restaurant, tells them that he does not want "a Jared" any more because, like the rest of the town, he thinks Jared wants to give the whole world AIDS. He also tells them that Jared is about to be killed and, knowing that he has been misunderstood, Stan, Kyle and Butters rush downtown to save Jared. They show up just in time and Kyle explains to everyone that, when Jared said he wanted to give children "aides", he meant give them personal assistants to help them lose weight, not AIDS. Jared suddenly realizes why everyone hated him and the crowd also realize their mistake and apologize to Jared. They also begin to laugh about it and Randy explains that they are laughing because they find AIDS funny, and that it is OK because "it's been 22.3 years, so AIDS is finally funny." The townspeople uncover a golden plaque which says "AIDS IS FINALLY FUNNY" and then Lu Kim shows up and gives the boys $15, which Stan is shocked at as Jared got millions, but Lu Kim explains that City Wok is not as big as Subway, so he does not have as much money as Subway does. Meanwhile, back at Butters' house, Cartman is relaxing and quickly leaves as soon as Butters arrives, then he gets a beach chair, a soda and some popcorn and sits in front of Butters' driveway. At that moment, Stephen and Linda, furious, come home and go inside. They shout at Butters and savagely beat him because they think it was him, not Cartman, who insulted them on the phone.

External links

• "Jared Has Aides" Full episode at South Park Studios
• "Jared Has Aides" Episode guide at South Park Studios
• "Jared Has Aides" at IMDb
• Template:Tv.com episode