Talk:Ali ibn al-Fadl al-Jayshani/GA1
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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 22:22, 3 November 2020 (UTC)
- " the public proclamation of al-Mahdi as caliph in 909, Ibn al-Fadl denounced al-Mahdi Billah". Is "al-Mahdi" the same person as "al-Mahdi Billah"?
- Clarified
- No ISSN for Eagle?]
- Added
- I think that a brief introduction to Isma'ilism in the Origin section would be in order.
- I've added some details (partly from Ibn Hawshab) on the crisis of Twelver Shi'ism and the revolutionary message of Isma'ilism. I hesitate adding more, since this is a very complex topic. Have a look, if you think it needs more, I will of course add it.
- That looks fine.
- "After capturing Sana'a". Do we have a date for this?
- Added
- "held Zabid on the western coast" I am not sure that Zabid is on the coast. If it isn't, maybe "on" → 'near'.
- Good point, changed to "on the western coastal plain"
- "From his mountain strionghold". This seems to jump chronologically. Perhaps 'He established a mountain stronghold, from which ...'?
- Changed to "From this base in the mountains"
- A word or two to introduce Zaidiyyah?
- Made clear that the Zaydis were a rival sect, but again, the theological differences are too complex. For the context of the article, it should suffice that the leaders of two rival sects clashed. This should be understandable to our readers even without knowing the reason why they were rivals.
- Agreed.
- "the Isma'ili daʿwa was split". What is a da'wa?
- it is explained further up, "the secret Isma'ili missionary mission"
- Gah!
- "who at Salamiya had been the at the chief proxy". A typo here?
- Indeed, fixed.
- "now exploited the country's political division". Assuming the country is Yemen, it may be clearer to name it.
- Done
- "Ibn al-Fadl died on 28 October 915 at Mudhaykhira of an illness" Is the nature of the illness known? If not, could 'unknown' be specified.
- Done
- This is a real "wall of text". Are there no images, even if a little tangential, which could be added?
- Not really, Yemen is not well covered in terms of images. I could add a coin of al-Mahdi Billah as illustration, but that's about it.
- Well, the criterion specifies "if possible", so I guess that lets you off.
Gog the Mild (talk) 20:22, 4 November 2020 (UTC)
- Hi Gog, I've responded to your suggestions, please have another look. Cheers, Constantine ✍ 09:37, 7 November 2020 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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