Jump to content

Talk:Battle of Olongapo

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Comments/suggestions

[edit]

Hello, interesting article. I've had a quick look over it and re-assessed it as Start class, although it is very close to B class, IMO. Good work so far. I have the following comments/suggestions for further improvement:

  • could you please clarify what you mean here: "It was because during the Spanish-American War, the fleet of Admiral George Dewey unexpectedly saw no Spanish ships in the Olongapo area on April 30, 1898".
  • this also needs clarification as it is not quite clear what you mean: "However, what provoked the Americans was the last shot given by the Filipinos as Charleston withdrew to Sangley Point". Why did it provoke them - did it cause significant damage?
    I'm not the one who created the article but I understood this as being a violation of wartime etiquette: firing at an already withdrawing ship who is thus unable to respond. It's just like shooting a running man at the back. Lajbi Holla @ meCP 09:10, 20 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    I've had a go at rewording this based on your explanation. AustralianRupert (talk) 04:48, 28 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • the lead should be expanded a little to summarise the whole article. For instance, another two or three sentences could be added to summarise the result;
  • "The Filipino battery responded with a single shot" --> why was this, was the battery put out of action/damaged or did the crew surrender?
  • if available, an image would be a great addition, although it is not a requirement for a successful B class rating (or even GA for that matter);
  • This probably needs to be explained a little, as it doesn't quite seem clear why this is relevant and/or why Aguinaldo disbanded them: "Emilio Aguinaldo effectively disbanded the regular Filipino army by November 13."

If you could cover off on the first four above points, I believe that it would be B class. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 09:05, 20 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]


USS Baltimore

The description of the Baltimore in this article seems to disagree with that in the linked article about the ship. The linked article describes the Baltimore as a protected cruiser (not a monitor), and her main armament consisted of 8" guns (not 10" or 12"). 99.109.198.136 (talk) 00:29, 23 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]