Talk:Battle of Piercebridge/GA1
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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 19:01, 13 July 2020 (UTC)
I'll have a look at this. Gog the Mild (talk) 19:01, 13 July 2020 (UTC)
I will copy edit a little as I go. Shout if I mess anything up.
- Cheers Gog the Mild, undid one change; I'm not a fan of "comprised of". Harrias talk 12:09, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
- "The Battle of Piercebridge was a battle in". Maybe 'The Battle of Piercebridge was fought in'?
- Ahem, yes, of course. Harrias talk 12:09, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
- "atop"! Gadzooks! Perhaps 'on'?
- Oh, come on, who doesn't like a bit of flowery prose from time to time? Made it boring for you. Harrias talk 12:09, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
- Link First English Civil War in main article.
- "and preparing for battle". "battle" or 'war'? (An open question.)
- I think either could be used, but "war" is probably better. Harrias talk 12:09, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
- "after fleeing London" Optional: → 'after fleeing from London'.
- The "from" seems redundant. Harrias talk 12:09, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
- "Unlike the fractured state of Yorkshire" I'm not sure about "fractured". Maybe 'disputed', or 'unclear situation in' or similar?
- Gone with "disputed" at the moment. Harrias talk 12:09, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
- Is the size of Howard's force known?
- No, frustratingly. It is commonly just recorded as a victory of 6,000 over 500 ish, but that is a false narrative; hence why I haven't included numbers in the infobox for this one. Harrias talk 12:09, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
- "from where they could force a crossing by weakening the enemy defences around the bridge". "from where they could force a crossing" seems very PoV. Suggest 'from where they could weaken the enemy defences around the bridge'.
- Fair, trimmed. Harrias talk 12:09, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
- "The Battlefields Trust" Lower case t.
- Link barricaded.
- "concentrations of lead shot found" Is it known when?
- Sadly not. Harrias talk 12:09, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
- "He subsequently defeated a Parliamentarian force commanded by Fairfax at the Battle of Tadcaster." Is there a reason why you don't say when this took place?
- Honestly? Because I apparently forgot to expand the Aftermath section when I went back over this article! I've added the date for Tadcaster for the time being, but will add more later. Harrias talk 12:09, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
- Page range for Bleiberg & Soergel?
- Added, and fixed link to where I originally found it. Looks like someone updated it on one of my articles, and I've been copying it around like this ever since. I think the link given should make it free to access, but could you confirm?
- I do that fairly frequently. It is now open access.
Harrias talk 12:09, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
More to follow. Gog the Mild (talk) 11:29, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
The aftermath could indeed do with a bit of expansion, but it makes it for GA. Promoting. Gog the Mild (talk) 12:19, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
- Thanks Gog the Mild: do you think with some more work on the aftermath this might be suitable for ACR? Harrias talk 12:23, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
- Harrias, sure. Gog the Mild (talk) 12:25, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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