Talk:Dorsolateral prefrontal cortex
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Hello Wikipedians I am a Middlebury College student and I along with 2 other friends from my Introduction to Neuroscience class will be working on this page till mid december. We have chosen this page to work on as there are additional resources that we have found and will like every one to know about them.
Hey guys! Nice work on the page. I think it is well organized, however, I think it might be nice to put the information about where the DLPFC is located in its own section, maybe labeled "Anatomy." To add to this, I think some images (fMRIs, drawings, or diagrams) could make it easier to understand visually where it is. A final thing with section headings is that "Relationships" seems a little vague, maybe you could call it "commitment issues" or maybe add a few extra sentences to that section. Another organizational idea is to pick, after introducing the readers to the abbreviations, one thing to call the Dorsolateral prefrontal cortex-and be consistent with calling it either its full name or one of the abbreviations. That could potentially make it clearer. I like your use of references to other wikipedia pages and I think you have a good number of other sources- one thing to change is a spelling error in Wechsler Adult Intelligence Test (swap the first "s" for a "c" and you should be good). Your writing is clear and I particularly like your explanations about specific studies, like in the secondary functions section. I think overall it is good, and hopefully my suggestions make sense! Good job! Kelseyphinney (talk) 23:33, 23 November 2013 (UTC)
I thought overall the page was well done and had a lot of information about the DLPFC. I especially liked how scientific experiments (and their results) were incorporated into your discussion of secondary functions of the DLPFC. One thing I would like to comment on is that some of the quotes from other sources were awkwardly integrated (sentence structure wise) into your discussion.
I also enjoyed how you made it clear that the DLPFC wasn't the only brain structure involved in a lot of the functions you discussed. It was helpful that you reminded the reader that the DLPFC doesn't act alone in the brain, nor are its regions limited to specific functions (such as in your discussion about the DLPFC and adult intelligence).
I especially liked your discussion of the DLPFC's involvement in the working memory. I think you could even elaborate more on this topic, as it seems like a major function of the DLPFC (as memory is so important to cognitive functioning). I thought your analogies between working memory and concrete objects (such as a sketch pad) made it a lot easier for the reader to understand the relatively complicated topic of working memory.
Thank you for your feedback! After discussing on various ways through which we could revise the integration of studies, we have managed to change the syntactical approach and have simplified the language without jeopardizing their content. Please have a look if you can and give us feedback. Neurobuddy1 (talk) 00:28, 4 December 2013 (UTC)Neuruddy1Neurobuddy1 (talk) 00:28, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
1: I think a picture of some kind would be extremely useful for this article. If you’re having problems finding a good picture of your specific structure you can use, consider finding a free use image in the wikipedia commons and highlighting the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex.
2: Having “Subcortical Layers” bolded and capitalized is slightly confusing. As if having Dorsolateral Prefrontal Cortex highlighted a second time.
3: Have you considered creating another subsection to discuss location in the brain? The introduction currently seems rather cluttered and focuses on telling us where the DLPFC is and what it connects to, rather than giving the reader a brief overview of the structure as a whole. The intensely detailed structural information should be moved into a different section, or at the very least separated into a different paragraph than the rest of the introductory information. Along these lines, consider adding a bit more of a brief overview of the DLPFC’s function.
4: Numerous brain structures are mentioned yet do not contain links to other wikipedia articles, these links should be added to include as per wikipedia’s guidelines to increase connectivity.
1: More than content, this section struggles slightly with grammar, consistency, and punctuation in some areas. There are some instances of inconsistent capitalization of “Dorsolateral Prefrontal Cortex” and use of “the” in front of its name. Check for missing punctuation as well.
2: In general, stating “for example” to list certain study results seems out of place and is atypical of wiki articles. In most of your cases, the words can be removed and the rest of the sentence can be left unchanged.
3: This entire section could benefit from the inclusion of more links to other wiki article to increase connectivity.
4: In the “Working Memory” section, working memory need not be defined. In addition, before abbreviating working memory as WM, this abbreviation must be introduced in parenthesis, if it is indeed a commonly used abbreviation.
Thank you for your feedback. We have revisited instances like use of for example and other illustrative words, and have modified, without jeopardizing the content, to the best of our abilities. The incoherency of reference to Dorsolateral Prefrontal Cortex has been corrected by substituting all references to it as DLPFC. Neurobuddy1 (talk) 00:32, 4 December 2013 (UTC)Neurobuddy1Neurobuddy1 (talk) 00:32, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
1: Schizophrenia should not be bolded.
2: The Stress section is great. This should be the model for correcting the small errors throughout the rest of the article
3: The Relationship section is a stub and should be combined with another section or removed.
A good article, the content is quality and in depth. However, the article should be more closely linked to other wiki articles. In addition, there are numerous small errors in grammar, punctuation, and consistency that reduce the professional appearance and readability of the article. Citation numbers are inconsistently placed in respects to punctuation. Ultimately, these are small but numerous errors. It is not this reviews place to list all small errors, but they could be quickly remedied by carefully reading through the article and paying close attention. Akreuzman (talk) 21:24, 26 November 2013 (UTC)
You have done a great job with your page! You tackled what is obviously a very complicated structure quite well. I especially enjoyed your comprehensive presentation of the primary and secondary functions of the DLPFC. I do have a few suggestions about I how think your page could be improved.
I would suggest that you break up your introduction into paragraphs. A few short paragraphs would make the information more visually accessible and it would allow to you emphasize the important information in this section, namely the DLPFC's relationship to other brain structures and its connection to the ventral and dorsal streams. Additionally, I would clarify the statement "DL-PFC is believed to exist starting at the Brodmann Area 10 to 8" as it is unclear to the reader what the Brodmann Area is that you are referring to.
I think your "Relationship" section would be more valuable if you elaborated on this topic. I would suggest mentioning some of the studies you encountered supporting this effect in order to make the claim more valid.
The comparison between the role of the DLPFC in Schizophrenia and Depression is a bit out of context because you do not address Depression elsewhere in your article. If you would like keep this information, I would suggest you consider adding a short section on the DLPFC and Depression.
Lastly, there are places where your writing gets a bit dense. I think your page could become more accessible to readers if you simplify some of your language and shorten long sentences. For example, sentences such as "As DL-PFC goes under the long maturational changes, one change that has been attributed to DL-PFC for making early cognitive advances is the increasing level of neurotransmitter Dopamine in DL-PFC" could be clearer.
Overall the page is very informative and is logically separated into two sections--functions and dysfunctions of the DLPFC. I hope you find my suggestions helpful! Khobbs2017 (talk) 17:59, 26 November 2013 (UTC)
Note from the Students Dear Wikipedians, thank your for your support and constructive feedback. They will help us make this page match the standards of Wiki guidelines. We appreciate your support, and want to assure you that the concerns mentioned above will be addressed shortly (some of them have already been).Neurobuddy1 (talk) 21:44, 1 December 2013 (UTC)Neurobuddy1Neurobuddy1 (talk) 21:44, 1 December 2013 (UTC)