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Talk:Marvel One-Shots/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: PresN (talk · contribs) 17:54, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]


Reviewing this now. --PresN 17:54, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • "They are included [in the] Blu-ray and digital distribution releases, and are not included on the DVDs" - "not included in the DVD releases".
Done - Favre1fan93 (talk) 18:34, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Each film, which range from 4-14 minutes" - "Film, which range" is a subject-verb conflict, since the "which range" clause is an extension of "film", not "each"- try "Each of the films, which range"
Done - Favre1fan93 (talk) 18:34, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • You shouldn't have citations in the lead unless its a direct quote or contentious material- the citation should be down with the information int he body that the lead is summarizing.
Partially done Could you maybe advise on the first reference usage? If I move the content to the development section, I don't know how to do so without having it be word for word copied, which I wouldn't want it to be. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 18:34, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
I'd probably stick, as the new third sentence in the first paragraph of development (just after the quote, which would need a cite moved after it as well), "Each of the films is designed as a self-contained story." - the rest of the information in that lead sentence is also stated elsewhere already. --PresN 19:11, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
PresN I tried something else. See this edit. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 19:20, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "while the fifth, stars Ben Kingsley" - no comma
Done - Favre1fan93 (talk) 18:34, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Development
  • "Marvel announced a couple of short films would be released" - Marvel announced 'that' a couple
Done - Favre1fan93 (talk) 18:39, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The first two films [...], being directed by Leythum and written by Eric Pearson." - replace being with "and were"
Done - Favre1fan93 (talk) 18:39, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Marvel Studios co-president Louis D’Esposito reiterating this idea stating that the goal" - comma after idea- the idea didn't state, he did.
Done - Favre1fan93 (talk) 18:39, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "I could see that happening"." - period inside the quote, it's in the original quote.
Done - Favre1fan93 (talk) 18:39, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Films
  • "Bennie and Claire, a down-on-their-luck couple find" - comma after couple
Done - Favre1fan93 (talk) 18:39, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Ben Kingsley reprising his role as Trevor Slattery from Iron Man 3, Scoot McNairy as Jackson Norriss, a member of the Ten Rings terrorist organization posing as a documentary filmmaker,[8][16] Lester Speight as Herman" - you can't use commas to separate items in a list and then also use them for appositives inside those items. Either don't use a comma when describing Jackson Norris or use semicolons between the items in the list
Done - Favre1fan93 (talk) 18:39, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Reception
  • Nothing! Wish you had more reception for each film so that it could be structured better, or that you had reception for the series as a whole, but you have what you have.
Yeah. This was the best myself and TriiipleThreat could find. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 18:39, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
References
  • Hooray for archiving references!
Thank you! We do so on all MCU pages! - Favre1fan93 (talk) 18:39, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Any reason that you link the publisher in ref 1 (Variety) but don't link any others except for ref 13?
Will adjust. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 18:39, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Done - Favre1fan93 (talk) 18:58, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is Superhero Hype! a reliable source?
Yes, as far as I know. TriiipleThreat, any thoughts? - Favre1fan93 (talk) 18:39, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
It is published by CraveOnline and does appear to have some editorial oversight. I would say its "weakly reliable", not on the same level as a trade publication or conventional news outlet.--TriiipleThreat (talk) 18:48, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Other
  • Blu-ray, Trevor Slattery, and List of Marvel Cinematic Universe television series (piped as television series) redirect every time you link them; they're the only ones, so I thought I'd mention it.
List of Marvel Cinematic Universe television series I'm going to keep, because that page will be created in the very near future (it's in my sandbox currently). Will look at the other two and come back with my comments. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 18:39, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
I adjusted Blu-ray but left Trevor Slattery as a redirect. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 18:58, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Looks pretty good, overall! Placing on hold while you handle the little things. --PresN 18:24, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Changes look good, and fast work, too! Passed! --PresN 19:25, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Corvoe

[edit]

In the cast list, I have to ask about Shane Black's inclusion. I haven't seen Agent Carter, so I don't know about the relevance of this disembodied voice, but is it really worth including in the list? I feel like this is something that belongs in prose only. Again, I haven't seen the short, so perhaps it is more important than I know. Corvoe (speak to me) 18:51, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

His name is included in the billing block before the credit role I believe. That is what was used for inclusion in the table since we didn't have posters to see the billing block like the main features. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 18:58, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Well, that makes perfect sense to me. That's really my only comment, this article is looking really good! Corvoe (speak to me) 19:01, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Its an unseen character. I think due to the relatively small cast and the prominence of the performer, the director of Iron Man 3, it might be worth a mention but I can go either way. However, if it is kept then it should be lower case as it is not a proper name.--TriiipleThreat (talk) 19:02, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
So I just double checked. Yes Shane Black is mentioned in the pre roll billing, which is the basis I used for the other films I believe when I cleaned up the table. Also it is stated as "and Shane Black as The Disembodied Voice" (but in all caps). He does not get a credit in the credit role. So maybe he needs the "C" note on his as well? - Favre1fan93 (talk) 19:07, 8 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
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