Talk:2006 Pine Middle School shooting

Cite this qoute

This qoute "he did not want to be up close when blood came out of any of the victims." needs to be cited. Somehow I don't think it's very pertinent either.Anthonzi 23:51, 29 October 2007 (UTC). OK I'm taking it out because it irks me; there are more pertinent issues to be addressed.Anthonzi 09:05, 9 November 2007 (UTC)

I found the quote and cited it in my new expanded version. Thanks. --Banime (talk) 17:47, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

AFD

This article is going to be nominated for deletion. This article does meet the notability of a crime event. {Tim C} 06:43, 11 November 2008 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Cyanidethistles (talk • contribs)

Merge Discussion

Because of the recent Wikipedia:Articles_for_deletion/Pine_Middle_School_shooting, we should probably have a discussion of whether it should be merged with school shootings or list of school attacks. If you have any comments or feel one way or another, talk about it here. --Banime (talk) 13:40, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

• Oppose I oppose an outright merge. I'll repeat my comments from the AfD: I don't think merging alone would do it justice (its already in the school shootings article anyway and most other school shootings are linked to separate articles as well, so this one should be too). I found even more sources on it: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]. Notable from these and the included sources and should maintain its own article in addition to its listing on the list of school shootings. --Banime (talk) 13:42, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

  After I expanded the article I think others will agree with me more. If you have any questions please ask. --Banime (talk) 17:47, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

  I was the one who nominated the article for AFD, but after seeing the improvements made, I'm quite convinced that it should stay here on Wikipedia, because it looks good. My only problems are that the sections should be divided in subsecs (for example: shooting, arrests, etc.), and the refs need wikilinks to the publisher and dates of publishing and retrieving the articles. Pictures would also be a nice addition though it doesn't have to be required for an article like this. I'll try to help out too. --Cyanidethistles (talk) {Tim C} 08:10, 16 November 2008 (UTC)

  Okay I'll work on that too. --Banime (talk) 13:38, 16 November 2008 (UTC)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Pine Middle School shooting/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

I found some problems with this article:

1. The phrase booked as an adult in the lead is confusing. I initially thought that he was tried as an adult. After reading the last section I now understand that he was only arrested and charged as an adult and then tried as juvenile. The lead should make it clear.
2. The following sentence received sentencing as a juvenile in which he plead guilty to different charges is also misleading. He actually pleaded guilty and then was sentenced, not in the reverse order.
3. He removed the pistol in which he had concealed in his coat pocket Please, find a redundant word.
4. he did not want his parents to be present during questioning Were parents present during questioning?
5. The last section should be expanded. I want to know whether Newman completed his sentence successfully. What has happened with him and with his victims afterwards? Has he continued to study in the same school? What has happened with school? Does it still exist? The section should probably be renamed to 'Aftermath'.
6. I noticed that some refs (1 and 6) lack author and publisher information.
7. Is a photo of the school or/and Newman available?

I will put the article on hold. If all problems are fixed in a reasonable time I will promote it. Ruslik (talk) 17:15, 6 January 2009 (UTC)

As a comment, some of the text of this article seems very close to the wording used in this reference. Some more rewording might be necessary. Tim Vickers (talk) 17:26, 6 January 2009 (UTC)

I got 1, 2, and 4 completely done, and 5 and 6 somewhat. 5 will be hard because there are no sources except for one or two dead links from 2007 about the aftermath of the shooter's life and all that... I remember finding an article about that teacher winning a hero award or something in 2007, which is now a dead link. 3 I'm not sure what you mean, and for 7, there are about three pics including the guy's mugshot, and a pic of the hallway and one of the stretchers being pulled to ambulances. However, I am not familiar with the commons too much, so I need somebody to help me upload those pics, though they may not be necessary for a small article like this.

Founded a bit more info for the aftermath Cyanidethistles(talk) {Tim C} 03:24, 7 January 2009 (UTC)

The first 'in' was a redundant word. I actually meant a photo of the school, not necessary at the time of shooting. The comment of TimVickers should also be addressed. Ruslik (talk) 09:30, 7 January 2009 (UTC)

Can't really find a pic of the school and I did change the redundant part. Cyanidethistles {Tim C} 07:39, 8 January 2009 (UTC)

Well I see now only three problems:

1. The comment of TimVickers has not been been addressed. Please, reword the offending statements or attribute them to the affidavit.
2. I think it would be great to have a short introductory section with some background information about the school: where it is located, number of students, its achievements (Is it a good school?) etc.
3. The lead should mention that Fagan received an award.

Ruslik (talk) 10:08, 8 January 2009 (UTC) Ruslik (talk) 10:08, 8 January 2009 (UTC)

Done done, and... done. I reworded at least two words just today, and I can't see too many words from those sources in this article, and I made the background sec. I can't find too much info about it except for how many students and address. And lead mentions Fagan. Cyanidethistles {Tim C} 03:11, 9 January 2009 (UTC)

I think now the article satisfies GA criteria, and I will promote it. Ruslik (talk) 11:02, 9 January 2009 (UTC)