Talk:Ralph V. Whitworth

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Over Detailed and Tone

Dennis Brown what specifically are you referring to as over detailed? Ralph V. Whitworth is a figure like Carl Icahn which has generally the same format as this entry. Please lend more detail of your critique.

Also Tone needs to be explained since I find no use of unintelligible argot, slang, colloquialisms, doublespeak, legalese, or jargon. Monstermike99 (talk)

Reply In particular, the list of awards is a bit problematic. It should be trimmed to only include awards that are considered notable by Wikipedia standards, or at least cited. The overall article isn't bad, but the overall tone is a little bit of a laundry list of the great things he did, more than it is prose. It would look less "overly detailed" if put more into prose. It isn't an insult, just tagging to attract someone who is good and converting a list of facts into more readable prose. Dennis Brown (talk) 14:41, 1 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Reply Thanks Dennis Brown, I will edit those suggestions. Monstermike99 (talk) —Preceding undated comment added 15:06, 1 November 2011 (UTC).[reply]

Reply Dennis Brown, I have removed 2 of the recognitions but the other awards are pertaining to his Chairmanship of Apria, Waste Management and Corporate Governance and should stay. It does not qualify as excessive to an inparticular audience because it is what he does for a living, much like James Taylor and his Awards and Recognition. I will remove your sweep for this.

Also the definition verbatim according to the Wiki guidelines for Tone is that Wikipedia articles, and other encyclopedic content, should be written in a formal tone. Standards for formal tone vary depending upon the subject matter, but should follow the style used by reliable sources, while remaining clear and understandable. Formal tone means that the article should not be written using unintelligible argot, slang, colloquialisms, doublespeak, legalese, or jargon; it means that the English language should be used in a businesslike manner. Businesslike being defined by Wikipedia as methodical and efficient; earnest and practical without being distracted or enthusiastic. This article satisfies that.

I understand and want to satisfy your "prose" but this does not fall underneath the flag so I will remove that as well. I appreciate the feedback. Monstermike99 (talk) —Preceding undated comment added 15:50, 2 November 2011 (UTC).[reply]

perhaps include this under the section about his generous 'philanthropy' to geriatric rock stars - "financier Ralph Whitworth last month paid the Rolling Stones $2 million to play at a local bar" http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/rich-californians-youll-have-to-pry-the-hoses-from-our-cold-dead-hands/2015/06/13/fac6f998-0e39-11e5-9726-49d6fa26a8c6_story.html 13:00, 23 June 2015 (UTC) R.E.D. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 100.1.111.232 (talk)

and also, in 2003 paid Sir Paul $1 million USD to perform at his (Ralph's) wife's b'day party.. the $ went to a favorite charity. Alas, they divorced a year later, but!!... in 2006, Whitworth had the Four Tops perform at his wedding... 2602:304:CDAF:A3D0:F53F:143D:669:621F (talk) 04:27, 29 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]