Template:Did you know nominations/Avalon International Breads
- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Allen3 talk 10:28, 31 March 2015 (UTC)
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Avalon International Breads
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- ... that Detroit-based Avalon International Breads (pictured) is the largest purchaser of organic bread flour in Michigan?
ALT1:... that Detroit-based Avalon International Breads (pictured) began with an old oven from and the original business plan used by Zingerman's?- Reviewed: Dynamism of a Cyclist and 1886 Navy Midshipmen football team
Moved to mainspace by Michael Barera (talk). Self nominated at 04:55, 2 March 2015 (UTC).
- Comment: ALT1 should be reworded. The current "Zingerman's old oven" would refer to an oven which belonged to "Zingerman", but it actually belonged to a business called "Zingerman's". I guess it could be "Zingerman's's", but we sure don't want that. How about something like "an old oven from Zingerman's"? MANdARAX • XAЯAbИAM 22:07, 2 March 2015 (UTC)
- Modifying ALT1 from "Zingerman's old oven and its original business plan" to "an old oven from and the original business plan used by Zingerman's". Michael Barera (talk) 22:22, 2 March 2015 (UTC)
The article is long enough (6893 characters) and new enough (moved to mainspace the day before it was nominated). It is neutral in tone and well sourced with inline citations. Spot checks revealed no copying or close paraphrasing. QPQ has been done. The image is free and shows up reasonably well. Both hooks are supported by inline citations to online sources. I find ALT1 sort of confusing because of the mention of a second bakery I've never heard of, and also less interesting than the original hook, which is quite attention-getting. However, I think the article and hook need to be reworded based on the source, which says that Avalon purchases over 9,000 pounds "weekly" from organic wheat farmers, which makes them Michigan's biggest "organic bread flour" purchaser. The article doesn't say anything about weekly purchases and seems to say that the 9,000 pounds is a cumulative amount purchased as of January 2013. Also, the source specifically mentions "bread" flour, which seems significant because there are other kinds (all-purpose and pastry flour for example). I think the hook would still be good if it specified organic bread flour. Otherwise, I don't feel comfortable approving. HazelAB (talk) 13:44, 18 March 2015 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review, HazelAB. I think I've resolved your concerns now. To be fair, ALT1 is pretty Michigan-centric, which is why I originally made it the alternate choice. I agree that the main hook is a better choice, and after considering your point I've also decided to strike ALT1. If there are any other questions or concerns, please let me know. Thanks! Michael Barera (talk) 00:25, 19 March 2015 (UTC)
Everything looks great now, Michael Barera. Good to go! HazelAB (talk) 00:45, 19 March 2015 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review, HazelAB. I think I've resolved your concerns now. To be fair, ALT1 is pretty Michigan-centric, which is why I originally made it the alternate choice. I agree that the main hook is a better choice, and after considering your point I've also decided to strike ALT1. If there are any other questions or concerns, please let me know. Thanks! Michael Barera (talk) 00:25, 19 March 2015 (UTC)
- Modifying ALT1 from "Zingerman's old oven and its original business plan" to "an old oven from and the original business plan used by Zingerman's". Michael Barera (talk) 22:22, 2 March 2015 (UTC)
