Template:Did you know nominations/Paula Bataona Renyaan

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Yoninah (talk) 09:45, 23 October 2020 (UTC)

Paula Bataona Renyaan

Paula Bataona Renyaan in 1997
Paula Bataona Renyaan in 1997
  • ... that Paula Bataona Renyaan (pictured), the third female who became a police general in Indonesia, was also the first female to became a vice governor in Indonesia? Source: "Paula Bataona Dilantik Jadi Wagub". Mimbar Kekaryaan ABRI (in Indonesian). Jakarta. September 1998. p. 67; DD (5 October 1995). "Sari Berita Sosial-Politik: Kenaikan Pangkat 72 Pati ABRI". Kompas.

Moved to mainspace by Jeromi Mikhael (talk). Self-nominated at 08:48, 14 October 2020 (UTC).

General: Article is new enough and long enough
Policy: Article is sourced, neutral, and free of copyright problems
Hook: Hook has been verified by provided inline citation
Image: Image is freely licensed, used in the article, and clear at 100px.
QPQ: Done.

Overall: For 4 November 2020 as requested (see creator's comment above). All is well. The hook is cited offline, taken AGF. Note: I have copyedited the article and added a commons category (this will not affect the review). Thank you for this useful article. Storye book (talk) 16:14, 22 October 2020 (UTC)

  • Hi, I came by to promote this for November 4 as requested. But there is too much repetition in the hook with "Indonesia" twice, and calling her a "female" reminds me of classifying species. Could you reword this? Ideally, you could leave the most important "first" and also tell me something about her accomplishments. Thanks, Yoninah (talk) 20:43, 22 October 2020 (UTC)
  • @Yoninah: ALT1: ... that Paula Bataona Renyaan (pictured), was both the first woman to became a vice governor and the third woman to became a police general in Indonesia?
  • Her accomplishments during her parliamentary term and vice governor term were quite a lot (and messy). Kompas provides a good source. I'll try to complete it Saturday. Regards, Jeromi Mikhael (marhata) 02:13, 23 October 2020 (UTC)
  • for ALT1. Thank you, Jeromi Mikhael. Storye book (talk) 08:58, 23 October 2020 (UTC)
  • Well, I still think the hook is too weak. You might want to read up at WP:Women in Red to appreciate their efforts to advance the cause of women in a more potent way. I'm promoting this to a non-image slot on the requested date. Yoninah (talk) 09:45, 23 October 2020 (UTC)