User:ThatSexyCat
"Hai there. I play vidya games, hang out on 4chan, and drink a lot of iced tea. That is all." -ThatSexyCat, Charlie Wilson's National Address Project, 2013
You may remember me from:
Fighting vandalism Whining about unfounded and incorrect edits to this cat article
Helping with citations on the Rocco Perri entry (but not actually)
The article on Rocco Perri is my main focus at this point, I want it to look nice. Although I've pretty much given up because I've found a limited amount of sources to prove anything and because I'm so painfully lazy.
Bio
[edit]"Well this SexyCat guy sounds sexy and all, but when do I get to learn more about him?" -Oscar Wilde, on ThatSexyCat's attractiveness
ThatSexyCat is angst ridden teenager with an iced tea addiction. He has Type 1 Diabetes, ADHD, and Narcolepsy. ThatSexyCat's favourite type of firearm is the Mosin Nagant, to suggest there is any other quality firearm is heresy. If you cannot kill it with the glorious motherland firearm of legend, it cannot be killed. He is a veteran of the first Gulf War, the Bosnian Crisis, and both Chechen wars. ThatSexyCat enjoys writings of many different types, but particularly enjoys anything concerning economics or politics, building computers (and disassembling them), and writing game design documents. He lives in the glorious presidential palace in his home country of:
Lasercatia
[edit]thatsexycat is the president, prime minister, and princess of lasercatia, his own private micronation. lasercatia is recognized by canada, norway, germany, and the states of colorado and texas. it is considered a terrorist organization by the united states government. the lasercatian military consists of the /k/at korps, the kriegsmarine, and the chair force. lasercatia is in possession of 10 remote control helicopters, 3 canoes, 1 kayak, and 2 tanks made out of cardboard, with 17 feline servicemembers, each armed to the teeth with mosin nagant semi-fully automatic bolt action russian assault carbines, which shoot the extremely powerful 7625.4R round. the lasercatian national religion is the meowism, a deviation of taoism, although there is a rising number of westboro baptists. lasercatia imports large amounts of vidya games, big league chew, and arizona iced tea from various parts of north america.
 Flag | |
| Motto: "Aethiopem vos iustus abiit plenus morionem" (Latin) "Remember, if it doesn't say Micro Machines, it's not the real thing." | |
| Anthem: Gay Bar (song) | |
| Capital and largest city | Nyan City |
| Official languages | |
| Demonym(s) | Lasercatian |
| Government | Free Market Anarchist |
| ThatSexyCat | |
| ThatSexyCat | |
| ThatSexyCat | |
| Ayn Rand | |
| Establishment from Vietnam | |
| 1968 BC | |
| 1848 | |
| 1973 | |
| Area | |
• Total | 2.3 km2 (0.89 sq mi) |
| Currency | Lasercatian dollar (Ḷ) (CAT) |
| Drives on | purple |
| Internet TLD | .cat |
The Mosin-Nagant
[edit]Soldiers of the Lasercatian military are equipped with the Mosin-Nagant 91/30 super power fully semi-automatic bolt action assault carbine. This deadly assault weapon ban fires the heat seeking extremely powerful 762.5x4R round, which track high value targets like terrorists and puppies. It can shoot down enemy police helicopters and civilian airliners, which is why the Lasercatian armed forces only employ it when needed, an accident could happen and people could get hurt, so they take their best efforts to avoid them. No body has accidentally died from a Lasercatian carbine, and they intend for it to stay that way. Lasercatian special forces use the modified Obrez. The Obrez is a compact pistol like sawn off Mosin. The standard sidearm is the Tokarev, or TT-33 handgun, although the special forces commonly use the Groovy 6P9, a modified Makarov, instead.
Military History of Lasercatia
[edit]Lasercatian forces have had their fair share of conflicts and battles.
Heroes of Leningrad
[edit]During the Siege of Leningrad, Lasercatian infantry helped in the fight. Operation Orchestral Seppuku, was launched, and soldiers from the 1st and 5th battalions attacked Leningrad and the surrounding area. Supply lines, hospitals, and weapon stocks were destroyed in expertly timed assaults. Lasercatian forces ultimately killed 45,000 Axis soldiers, and 63,000 Russians.
Operation Blanket of Life
[edit]Some Lasercatian forces were mistakenly deployed in inhospitable parts of the Soviet Union. To avoid their deaths by starvation, the cold, or by enemy forces, the chair force launched operation Blanket of Life, and airdropped food, water, medicine, ammunition and building supplies to the ground forces. Engineers from the 1st Combat Engineering Group used the building supplies to build a small town and railroad. Thw town grew after the war to a massive size, and was voluntarily handed over to the Soviet Union by the Lasercatian government. The Soviets would go on to rename the city Moscow.
The War on Sealand
[edit]On February 31st, 1973, at 2:33 AM, forces from the Lasercatian armed forces stormed the Sealand compound, firing randomly into the darkness, while in an against all odds operation, special forces disabled the artillery piece. Following the artillery piece's destruction, a Kriegsmarine assualt unit composed of 2 canoes blockaded the Sealand navy, preventing an escape or quick response. Fireworks were deployed by the Sealanders in an attempt to blind the /k/at korps, but the chair forces gave the /kat/ korps covering fire from above. This simple act of courage saved 10 feline lives that day. 24 Sealanders were killed, with 15 wounded. No cats were killed or wounded. The battle lasted 23 minutes.
Second Strike
[edit]Following the compound attack, mercenaries from Eastern Europe attacked Lasercatia, taking 13 lives. Lasercatia's Leader, ThatSexyCat assured the people that he would not negotiate with terrorists. All Lasercatia troops were pulled from Sealand, along with many of its natural resources and 63 stolen Sealand passports. Sealand was then destroyed with a radiological dirty bomb. All who did not perish in the blast were given radiation sickness. 1 CIA agent was killed in the blast, leading to Lasercatia being declared a terror organization by the US Government.
The Full Pardon
[edit]During the Iranian hostage crisis, Lasercatian special forces aided in the protection of the hostages while they were being snuck out by Canadian foreign service members. In return for their help, Ronald Reagan gave Lasercatia a full presidential pardon and forgave them for the accidental killing of the CIA agent on Sealand. This pardon was lifted by president George H.W. Bush during his presidency. President Clinton re granted the pardon when Lasercatian special forces foiled the Socks assassination plot.
The Pardon "War"
[edit]Once again, the Pardon given by Reagan, after Hillary found out that Bill was malfunctioning. The Clintons suffered from an internal struggle after Bill was cyberized, with Hillary claiming Bill was malfunctioning whenever he went on a rant in support of Libercatia. She withdrew the pardon while wearing a George Bush costume, knowing that if security footage was released she could pin the blame on the Republicans and the Skull and Bones society. Hillary's plan had one major flaw, the fact that the Skull and Bones society knew of her plan and how it was connected to the Flowerpot industry. They had the real Bush show up with Bill in a Ford Pinto in order to expose the plot. Bill used his robot skills to infiltrate the complex, while Bush entered the lobby and began arguing with it, or so it seemed. Bush was actually distracting the lobby. Hillary was arrested by Clinton and the Libercatian police, and charged with genocide and libel. The case was thrown out of court because it was discovered that Hillary never committed genocide. However, she was later re-arrested for breaking a law. The Prez-O-Dental Pinto was destroyed when another Pinto backed into it at a speed of 400 MPH, thankfully nobody was inside at the time. Hillary later said that she was working with the Flowerpot industry to have Libercatia invaded, as everyone knows its soil is particularly good for making Flowerpots. Everyone later apologized to each other while on vacation in Whistler, BC. They meet every year to solve mysteries and play mini golf. SOmetimes Reagan shows up as a ghost to help out.
Operation Skull and bones
[edit]Libercatian secret agents discovered during the fiasco that the skull and bons was a real. THey realized it was a mystery solving gang of teenagers who worked with presidents to unmask ghosts. Operation skull and bones was started to create a libercatian mystery solving organization as well. As of 2014, they have unmasked 12 "ghosts"(the ghosts were just people pretedning to be ghosts so they could scare poeople). A TV show was made about the special group and their misadventures with spooky ghosts. it wasn't scooby do though it was actually called supernatural and it was ok not bad but not ttoo great if you know what im saying it was just mediocre in my opinon
Baker Godism
[edit]Baker Godism is a Religion founded by baker god, also know as Ryan the Raging Atheist. Baker Godism's main purpose is to protect people from when the planets poles shift, and the whole universe is engulfed by void for three days. Baker God was inspired to write the holy text of "I am Baker God, in soviet Russia, Sweden is Homosexuals" (changed to "I am Baker the God" following the privilege war) after a freak accident in a foundry which took his best friend. The following is an excerpt from aforementioned text;
"Before the poles shift be sure to harness the power of the batteries to surge the power of your Mercabas into your soul so you don't get pulled into the void space and get your mind wiped. The Word of Baker God" -The Book of Daniel Sucks, 11:34.
Apostles of Baker Godism
[edit]ThatSexyCat was the first apostle of Baker Godism, and taught the followers many lessons. The largest lesson being to use the holy word 'sus' as often as possible. Baker Godism is not affiliated with any government, but it can be assumed it is endorsed by the Lasercatian government, with ThatSexyCat being the first apostle.
Revelations
[edit]Over the course of April 2014, ThatSexyCat underwent a sort of revelation. While browsing Wikipedia in the morning, he witnessed a page being defaced. His conscience told him that this was an opportunity. A chance to rediscover himself. Another chance, a gift from the Wikipedian gods. After a making small contributions towards the cleanup, TSC realized he could log in to his account and redefine himself as someone who cared. TSC moved on from a mindset of not giving a fuck, to one about helping out when possible. His current goal is to make the Rocco Perri article shine (figuratively). He is aware that he is still selfish and that writing this entry was somewhat vain, and also recognizes that one day he will need to pay reparations for what he did during the privilege war.
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This user supports the use of nuclear energy. |
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 | This user is a classic liberal. |
 | This user opposes corporate welfare and bailouts. |
 | This user likes Maine Coons. |
 | This user is interested in firearms and is generally knowledgeable about them. |