User:The Hair Club for Catholics

Early Years

On stardate 28964.4, Nathan Willems, world renown rainbow taster, founded the Hair Club for Catholics, with the sole purpose of cleansing the world of lice, dandruff, and Ann Coulter books. At the charter ceremony, Nathan made the prophecy "With a renewed scalp and a virulent hatred of conservative pundit-idiots, we shall form the world in our well groomed image!" And there was much rejoicing.

Trouble Among The Ranks

It was not long before chaos ensued. The group soon divided into two distinct groups, the Orthodox, which believed the buzz cut and the combover were the most holy forms of hair stylization. However, the Reform Hair Club disputed those views, stating "All forms of hair and hair stylization were created equal in the eyes of the Flying Spaghetti Monster." The members of the Reform faction often sported progressive hair styles such as the afro, mullet, and the mohawk.

At one point in the Great Hair Schism, or as the Hairitics like to call it, "The Great Parting," someone proclaimed aloud "I just saved money on my car insurance by switching to the Reformed Hair Club for Catholics!"

Car Insurance History

Neither the Orthodox Hair Club for Catholics or the Reformed Hair Club for Catholics have ever been car insurance corporations.... I just Lied....

Notable Members

• Nathan Willems, Founder and Grand Patriarch of the Hair Net.
• Donald Goetz, Hairitic #1.
• Sheep.
• Bruce Schulte, Combover enthusiast.