User talk:Gazal world/Homework

M. N. Dwivedi[edit]

copy-edit[edit]

Hi Nishidani. Can you copy-edit the section 'Gandhi's autobiography'. I want to move it to The Story of My Experiments with Truth. --Gazal world (talk) 14:27, 9 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Will do, as soon as possible perhaps within this evening. Cheers Nishidani (talk) 15:09, 9 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hey Nishidani. Thank you very much. --Gazal world (talk) 20:44, 9 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

New content for Manilal Dwivedi[edit]

Hi Gog. Sorry for bothering you again and again. Regarding your second point ('the Oriental Congress') at Wikipedia:Peer review/Manilal Dwivedi/archive1, I have written a paragraph. See the first paragraph of 'New content for Manilal Dwivedi' section of this page. Can you trim it with copy-editing, and make it clear for reader ? I have also provided the original statements from the source, so you can get idea. Thanks. --Gazal world (talk) 15:36, 9 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

~~@Gog the Mild: Forgot to ping. --Gazal world (talk) 15:40, 9 July 2020 (UTC)~~[reply]

Please forget this. --Gazal world (talk) 11:59, 11 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hello Gog the Mild. As you and Tim found the article Manilal Dwivedi a little thin. I have written three new paragraph. Please see the first section 'Combined version' of this page. Before I put it into main article, I just want to get it polished for grammar, tone and clarity. Feel free to point out if there is anything which is not suitable for article. Thanks. --Gazal world (talk) 12:13, 11 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I have done a little copy editing. Revert anything you don't like.

"Shrimad Bhagavad Gita". Should this be in italics?

Yes. Done. --Gazal world (talk) 13:03, 11 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"Manilal made Vedantic philosophy popular among the Gujarati community, and reveled the main features of Indian philosophy and Hinduism, and by doing so, he instilled in the minds of the Gujarati reader community a kind of awareness of the foundation of their religion and culture." I would recommend → 'Manilal made Vedantic philosophy popular among the Gujarati community. He imparted to Gujarati readers an awareness of the foundation of their religion and culture.'

"Karma yoga". Why the upper case K?

Changed to k. --Gazal world (talk) 13:03, 11 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

It looks very good - nice work. Personally, I would include all three of these paragraphs. Gog the Mild (talk) 12:32, 11 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you Gog the Mild for copy-editing. What you think about this : 'Manilal made Vedantic philosophy popular among the Gujarati community, reveling the main features of Indian philosophy and Hinduism. He imparted to Gujarati readers an awareness of the foundation of their religion and culture.' --Gazal world (talk) 13:03, 11 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Gazal world, how about:

Manilal made Vedantic philosophy popular among the Gujarati community, examining the main features of Indian philosophy and of Hinduism. He imparted to Gujarati readers an awareness of the foundation of their religion and culture.

? Gog the Mild (talk) 13:36, 11 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Gog the Mild. Sounds good. Could you check this sentence again you paraphrased: He was recognised both in India and more widely as a staunch protagonist of ancient Indian religion and as a learned Indian philosopher. Thanks. --Gazal world (talk) 17:50, 11 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Gazal world, it reads fine to me; but if you are at all unsure, rewrite it and ask me to check it again. Gog the Mild (talk) 18:02, 11 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Gog the Mild The peer review received comments from you, Tim, and User:Peacemaker67, and almost all the issues have been addressed. Can I close the review now and nominate the article for FA ? --Gazal world (talk) 13:00, 12 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Gazal world, IMO, yes. Gog the Mild (talk) 12:11, 13 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Shekhar: Ek Jivani[edit]

Hi Nishidani. I want to start the plot section with this line:

The book with the word 'execution' (in Hindi: 'phāṁsī').<ref name="Hooker1998"/>

Can you edit the plot section accordingly ? --Gazal world (talk) 12:42, 21 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

No sooner asked than done, pal! Anything else? Nishidani (talk) 12:48, 21 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

No Nishi. I want to mention this statement at the very start of the plot section. --Gazal world (talk) 13:27, 21 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you Nishi. One edit to go, and your edit count will be 77,777. Wow. --Gazal world (talk) 14:05, 21 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Anyone can do quantity. What I admire about your work is its programmatic, sequential development, from stub to GA class, of articles in a complete field. Most admirable. Few editors do this.Nishidani (talk) 15:11, 21 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Nishidani. If you don't mind, can I removed this green texts from Shekhar : "Published in two parts, with a third part that has yet to see the light of day, Ek Jivani is semi-biographical in nature and is considered to be Agyeya's magnum opus." 'yet to see the light of day' is ornamental in tone, I think. --Gazal world (talk) 15:34, 22 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

You call the shots here, so you take out or leave in whatever you think best. The reason I wrote:'that has yet to see the light of day' is that the earlier draft said it was in three parts, whereas only two were published. From reading up on the sources, I noted that he had stated that he had finished the third part, but no one can find it. So stating it was in three parts is misleading: at best one would have to write: 'it was planned as a trilogy' of which two parts were published at the time of his death. The phrase 'yet to see the light of day' is not quite ornamental. It's quite idiomatic and avoids the repetitive use of 'publish' and, at the same time, gives no opinion as to whether that third part exists or does not exist. That was my reasoning, but, if you think it rather too colourful, by all means expunge it, and no harm done. Keep up the great work! Nishidani (talk) 17:45, 22 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]