User talk:Jenniferclifford
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[edit]Hello, Jenniferclifford, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Adam and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Adam (Wiki Ed) (talk) 22:55, 16 January 2017 (UTC)
Orphaned non-free image File:James Luna.jpg
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File permission problem with File:James Luna Photo.jpg
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Thanks for uploading File:James Luna Photo.jpg. I noticed that while you provided a valid copyright licensing tag, there is no proof that the creator of the file has agreed to release it under the given license.
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Peer Review (by Caroline Byrd)
[edit]Nice work! I've divided my comments up by section with overall comments at the end.
"Overview": I would consider shortening the overview portion to 'need to know' information, including his job/art, where he resides, and something about the subject of his art. I would place information on where he grew up and his education to "Background," as this information is relevant to his life but not necessary in order to understand his art. I like that you include the subject of Luna's best known work, that being multiculturalism, alcoholism, and colonialism, but be sure to add a citation when using "best-known".
Minor edit: add comma in last sentence >> "and, he"
Suggestion to move to "Background": "He was born in 1950 in Orange, California where he grew up there until moving to the La Jolla Indian Reservation in California in 1975, where he lives today. In 1976, he earned a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree at the University of California, Irvine, and in 1983, he earned a Master of Science degree in counseling at San Diego State University."
"Background": If you decide to add his educational information into background, I think you can move some of the artwork information into the "Artwork" section, leaving "Background" to solely cover Luna's life outside of the art sphere. Breaking up the material by subject-matter might help the reader process the information better.
Suggestion to move to "Artwork": "A self proclaimed "American Indian Ceremonial Clown", "Culture Warrior" and "Tribal Citizen", Luna's artwork is known for challenging racial categories and exposing traditional ways in which museums have displayed Native American Indians as parts of natural history, rather than as contemporary members of American society. He often uses objects, references to American popular culture, and his own body as a means of portraying his work. He has performed over 58 solo exhibitions since 1981, and has partaken in group exhibitions and projects across the United States and the world."
"Artwork": I think its beneficial to reference specific works as examples, especially for performance artists. If you could expand on the initial paragraph with more general qualities or themes of his work, I think that would be helpful for the reader (this might simply be moving part of the "Background" section into "Artwork"). I see in the "Honors" section that he is highly regarded by the art world, but is there any information about how general audiences react to his performances? This info may not be available in sources, but it would be worth researching!
"Honors": I like this section, as it contains a multitude of links so I can learn about Luna's influence. Some of these links lead to blank pages, however. I am not sure if that is something you can fix, but, if possible, I would remove defunct links.
"Quotes": Direct quotes are so important to understanding the individual. I think this section is excellent, and I would love to see more quotes if you are able to find any!
"See Also": I like the idea of tying Luna to a larger sphere of Native American artists. I am also working on a First Nations artist, and I will consider implementing this section onto my page!
"Notes": I think you have a good diversity of sources to back up your claims.
Overall, I think you have great content on a selection of Luna's works and a strong list of sources. You maintain a neutral voice throughout, and I did not see any issues with bias. I really like that you include direct quotes, especially in that the artist is still living. An overall critique would be to break apart longer sentences into multiple short sentences to make reading flow easier. As I suggested above, I would consider reorganizing a few sentences in the overview, background, and artwork sections to help the reader follow the article in a chronological way. As is possible, I would add on a bit more general information about his artwork (maybe what materials he used commonly, how he interacted with the audience, or if/how his work has evolved over thirty years).
Great job! Cmbyrd (talk) 22:05, 17 March 2017 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]Hi Jennifer, I am sure you are still in the editing process but here are some thoughts in the meantime. In the first sentence "James Luna is a Payómkawichum (Luiseño) and Mexican-American performance artist, photographer and multimedia installation artist." You might want to insert "is a member of the Payómkawichum (Luiseño) tribe" or something along those lines just to give the reader more context. The sentences about his education also might be better suited for a different section. In the section "Background" the sentence "Luna has been and continues to be an active community member of the La Jolla Indian reservation." can be changed to "Luna is an active community member of the La Jolla Indian reservation". I really enjoyed reading your article there are some minor copyediting issues but overall I think there is a lot of good information. I really like the external links you have provided and the in depth descriptions of some of his work. For the next week I would suggest cleaning up some of the syntax and seeing if you can find any additional information to include. Enjoyed reading your article!
SterlingLucas (talk) 04:08, 20 March 2017 (UTC)Sterling