Wikipedia:Peer review/Bay Area Rapid Transit/archive1

Bay Area Rapid Transit

This article failed Featured status over a year back, and has also been rated as a "good" article. I think a bunch of the initial FA concerns have been addressed, but I figure a peer review will be good to double check! lensovet 22:11, 17 July 2006 (UTC)

Some suggestions, with FAC in mind:

• The lead is too short, for an article of this size it should be about three paragraphs. See WP:LEAD.
• Try to convert some of the bulleted lists to prose, this is a common objection on FAC.
• There are a few one paragraph subsections in the later stages of the article, try to merge some of these where possible.
• There is a mix of referencing styles. Convert the inline external links to the format used elsewhere in the article.
• The article needs going over with a fine-toothed comb to smooth out awkward prose. Taking the first paragraph of the first section as an example:
  • As of the 22 June 2003, opening date of the extension to San Francisco International Airport and Millbrae, the BART system comprises 104 miles (167 km) of track and 43 stations. reads awkwardly - something like "Following the opening of an extension to San Francisco International Airport and Millbrae on 22 June 2003, the BART system comprises 104 miles (167 km) of track and 43 stations." would be better.
  • 2nd and 3rd sentences - the fact that the guage is non-standard is repeated.
  • Last sentence - the words "This" and "relatively" are redundant. I've made changes to this paragraph, but the whole article needs to be examined thoroughly.

Hope this helps. Oldelpaso 19:32, 19 July 2006 (UTC)

Thanks! Any other takers? lensovet 19:19, 20 July 2006 (UTC)

• Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, AZ _t 15:34, 21 July 2006 (UTC)