Wikipedia:Peer review/Climate of Tasmania/archive1

Climate of Tasmania

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for April 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review to help the article improve and to know how to set it out, as I'm the only contributor.

Thanks, Aaroncrick^{(Tassie Boy talk)} 07:13, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

Brianboulton comments: Very informative, and tables well set out. I do have a number of issues, though.

• Structure: You have crammed most of your information into the lead section. That is not the function of the lead; it should act as a concise summary of what's in the main body of the article. As a general principle, things touched on in the lead should be developed at greater length in the main article. If you read WP:LEAD you will see that the lead should not have more than four paragraphs (yours has six) – I would expect not more than two or three a shortish article like this. Climate of Florida and Climate of North Carolina are two Good Articles in the same subject field as yours, which might help you to develop a more appropriate structure.
• Few wikilinks in lead. All the placenames, except Australia, should be linked, also Southern Ocean. "Temperate climate" should be linked here rather than later in the article.
• There are numerous examples of dodgy prose, starting with the lead:-
  • "Autumn lasts between March and May and experiences changeable weather..." Autumn brings changeable weather, which we, not autumn, then experience.
  • "The winter months are between June and July and are generally..." There's nothing between June and July. I suggest you begin this statement: "The winter months of June and July are generally..."
  • "Winter maximums..." → "Winter maximum temperatures..."
  • "thanks to" would be more encyclopedic as "due to"
  • "Although snowfall is still common up until October." Not a complete sentence, needs to be attached to the previous one.
  • "...rather analogous to that found on large continents at the same latitude in the northern hemisphere." Which particular land masses did you have in mind for this example?
  • What do you mean by "a strong winter maximum"?
  • "January and February typically averages" – should be "average"
  • "50 years", not "fifty years
  • "...on 7 June-June 1954" should be "on 7–8 June 1954", with ndash not hyphen
• Hobart section
  • What does "(Koppen Cfb)" signify?
  • "highest maximum and "lowest minimum". Tautologies? Also, do these refer to highest and lowest ever recorded?
  • second lowest, rather than "second least"
  • Do cities "receive" snow? I'd say they "experience" it
  • "...it has received unseasonal snowfalls" – need to clarify what "it" refers to here
  • "did receive" → "received"
  • Also: hardly any of the statements in the Hobart section have been cited.
• Launceston section
  • "...in short amount of time" → "in a short period of time"
  • Can you explain what "Ti Tree Bend" is? Is it a weather station, a village or district, or what? Is there a particular reason why weather is measured there?
  • "has received in a year was..." is a conflict of tenses. Either delete "has" or change "was" to "is"

OK, that'll do. I hope that you find these comments helpful in you efforts to improve the article.

Brianboulton (talk) 19:03, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

• Thanks very much! Aaroncrick^{(Tassie Boy talk)} 05:11, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

Let's keep going. Main article or See also templates are not placed above the lead. They are either placed just under the header of the section where they best apply, or if there are none which apply relatively well, under a See Also header towards the end of the article. Also, a link to you recent GAN article, Launceston, should likely be placed within a Main article template just under the header for the Launceston section. Thegreatdr (talk) 21:24, 10 May 2009 (UTC)