Wikipedia:Peer review/Deconstructivism/archive1

Deconstructivism[edit]

A few of us wikipedians have been editing the hell out of this perviously quite under-represented article that's an important new movement/style in contemporary architecture - you've all seen the Guggenheim in Bilbao by Frank Gehry - Did you know Brad Pitt wanted to be an architect and now frequently 'hangs out' in Gehry's studio?[1] - Well this article is nothing to do with Brad Pitt, but your scrutiny would be very much appreciated. Thanks. --Mcginnly 11:08, 27 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Not big enough. General Eisenhower 01:34, 29 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Where do you see room for expansion? DVD+ R/W 01:38, 29 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Some comments:

Web references should be cited in accordance with WP:CITE (see also WP:CITE/ES); {{Cite web}} can be useful here.
Categories should be alphabetized.
Per WP:MOS, headings should not have capitalized words unless it is either the first word of the heading or is a proper noun; for example, "See Also" should become "See also". In addition, the title should not be repeated in a heading (for example, "Deconstructivism and Constructivism" to Constructivism)
The first sentence is too long and should be broken up; also, a comma belongs before the word which
The (see below) note is unnecessary, since everything in the WP:LEAD should be a summary of content found later in the article.
Shortern the lead so that it fits into guidelines brought out by WP:LEAD.
Some of the architects involved, have been influenced remove the comma
Modern Architecture should not be capitalized
eachother -> each other
published theories alongside eachother in the journal, Oppositions, this journal is the beginning of a decisive -this reads awkwardly, please remove the first comma
alligns -> aligns
Peter Eisenman draws some draws->drew
Is there a reason why unbuilt should be italicized?
Bernard Tschumi eventually won the competition What competition? A competition was never mentioned in the section before.
Please link or provide a designation for Jacques Derrida.
was through Jacques Derrida to Peter Eisenman. I'm sort of confused with this statement; was Derrida the one who explained the philosophy to Eisenman, were both involved in this, etc.?
that the locus, or place of presence was architecture, comma missing after presence (suggest also that locus be linked)
Though Gehry is mentioned in the lead, I would suggest giving his first name and a short description under the Derrida section, where he appears unexpectedly. In fact, Derrida doesn't seem like the best way to name the section...
of sculptors El Lissitzky, Naum Gabo and painters Kazimir Malevich and Alexander Rodchenko the first comma should be an and, following what is done in the second half of the sentence.
Define or link purism.
Minimalism, and cubism no comma needed; minimalism should also be decapitalized
Analytical cubism, with its multiplicity of views had missing comma before had
Analytical cubism, with its multiplicity of views had a sure effect on deconstructivism, as forms and content are dissected and viewed from different perspectives simultaneously, in both cubism and deconstructivism. This sentence is very confusing- is it about analytical cubism or cubism and deconstructivism?
Frank Gehry, and Bernard Tschumi extraneous comma
Maya Lin's 1982 project for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial with its granite slabs severing the ground plane is one. missing commas before with and after plane
Its shard-like form and reduction of content to a text influenced deconstructivism with its sense of fragmentation and emphasis on reading the monument, or reading architecture. A long fragment; and defining "reading the monument" as "reading architecture" isn't very helpful here, as it fails to provide an inexperienced reader with an accurate definition.
Ghost (1990) an entire living space cast in plaster, another comma missing after 1990, other comma unnecessary
Gordon Matta-Clark's Building cuts were deconstructed sections of buildings exhibited in art galleries, or they were buildings and art galleries themselves deconstructed. What is the difference between the two? Please clarify.
The word "the" should not appear in headings (per WP:MOS), as in "The 1988 MOMA exhibition" to "1988 MOMA exhibition"
architecture which again comma needed
many early deconstructivist work, appear work should be plural, and the comma is unnecessary
Also Gehry is comma needed after also
Zaha Hadid's sketches for instance. fragment
Image:Vitra002a.jpg needs a proper image tag; the current tag used is obsolete
Elitist and detached period needed at end of sentence
increase the costs of design and final on site assembly please link or explain final
For an example of a featured article to follow, see Sicilian Baroque.
As stated above, the article could use some expansion to become comprehensive. The beginnings of Deconstructivism can be explained more, the legacy, etc.

I hope you find the above helpful. Regards, AndyZ _t 14:09, 29 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

A couple of other notes: As done in WP:FOOTNOTE, there generally isn't a space between a character and then the footnote (for example, like Deconstruction. [2] to like Deconstruction.[2] Ideally, there should be at least one footnote per section. AndyZ _t 14:12, 29 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Very thoughtful and thorough comments, thank you. I am a collaborator on this article but have been away since the beginning of peer review. I will try to implement as much of this as I can, now that I am back. Thanks again. DVD+ R/W 04:53, 3 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Looks like Mcginnley got most of it, I have put in a request at the commons about Image:Vitra002a.jpg. I will try to do some expansion tomorrow. DVD+ R/W 05:06, 3 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]