Wikipedia:Peer review/Mangalore/archive1

Mangalore

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to know the current status of the article.

Thanks, Kensplanet (talk) 09:37, 6 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Some comments:

The image in the infobox should probably show an image of the subject. The current image is pretty, but not doesn't show Mangalore, just the ocean.
The History section should be expanded or rationalized. Currently it is dominated by how foreigners found the city and very little weight is given to the city's development over the ages. Currently, there is only one sentence about the city's history since 1800.
Try to find some more authoritative sources. For example, travel agencies are not the best sources for climatic data, but weatherbase is used in several FAs. --maclean 18:53, 16 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Overall it is quite an extensive article and here's what i think needs to be done.

What is kadali fruit? Plese enclose the English name within brackets as well.
What does 'loral past' mean? Please simplify the language for ease of understanding.
Few sentences seem to have been directly copied from [[1]], yet there is no reference to this page.
History merely states a few travelers who discovered the city. An account of gradual development of the city would be better. A few sentences on what happens after 1800 are required. You could view featured articles like Kolkata for guidance.
"...makes it feel above ..." in Geography and climate section is a vague statement,not exactly factual.
Needs references in economy section.
Many sentences like "tiles made from red clay and baked, is used as roof" have wrong syntax. It should be "tiles.....are used..." in this case.
You could link PCPIR to Nayachar which defines PCPIR.
"During this tremendous growth phase, these banks spawned a whole generation of bankers from Mangalore across these firms from the top to bottom". - What does it mean?

Comments by Editors of the Page

Some comments:

~~The image in the infobox should probably show an image of the subject. The current image is pretty, but not doesn't show Mangalore, just the ocean.~~

The History section should be expanded or rationalized. Currently it is dominated by how foreigners found the city and very little weight is given to the city's development over the ages. Currently, there is only one sentence about the city's history since 1800.

Done.

Replace the current Image in the infobox with an Image which shows details on the subject.
Expand the History section so that it includes development over the ages.

Both these have been added to the To-do list for Mangalore. Soon, the editors of this page will do the necessary modifications.______Kensplanet (talk) 13:15, 17 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

~~Try to find some more authoritative sources. For example, travel agencies are not the best sources for climatic data, but weatherbase is used in several FAs.~~ --maclean 18:53, 16 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Done, All figures for climatic data taken from Weatherbase.

Overall it is quite an extensive article and here's what i think needs to be done.

~~What is kadali fruit? Plese enclose the English name within brackets as well.~~

Done. The word Kadali fruit means Banana-->>Kensplanet (talk) 17:17, 16 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Old Sentence: This region, given away as a reward to sage Parashurama by Samudraraja, is well-known for its Kadali fruits.
New Sentence: This region, given away as a reward to sage Parashurama by Samudraraja, is well-known for its Kadali fruits (Bananas).======Kensplanet (talk) 13:23, 17 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
~~What does 'loral past' mean? Please simplify the language for ease of understanding.~~
Done. The language has been simplified tremendously.
Old Sentence: It is the land of enchantment of Sahyadri mountains, where the great sages Kanva, Vysa, Vashista, Vishwamitra and other in the Loral past spent their days of meditation.
New Sentence: It is the land of enchantment of Sahyadri mountains, where the great sages Kanva, Vysa, Vashista, Vishwamitra and others spent their days of meditation.--Kensplanet (talk) 13:32, 17 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
~~Few sentences seem to have been directly copied from [[2]], yet there is no reference to this page.~~

No. I don't think so. They have copied from Wikipedia. If you check properly, the site mentions
Some pages may contain portions of text relating to certain topics obtained from wikipedia.org under the GNU FDL license--Kensplanet (talk) 17:22, 16 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

History merely states a few travelers who discovered the city. An account of gradual development of the city would be better. A few sentences on what happens after 1800 are required. You could view featured articles like Kolkata for guidance.

Done.

Replace the current Image in the infobox with an Image which shows details on the subject.
Expand the History section so that it includes development over the ages.

Both these have been added to the To-do list for Mangalore. Soon, the editors of this page will do the necessary modifications.______Kensplanet (talk) 13:34, 17 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

~~"...makes it feel above ..." in Geography and climate section is a vague statement,not exactly factual.~~

Done. It has been corrected. The corrected sentence is much more factual.

Old Sentence: However, a high relative humidity of more than 90% makes it feel above 40 °C (104 °F).
New Sentence: However, temperatures may rise up to 40 °C (104 °F) due to the high relative humidity of more than 90%.----->>>>>>>>>>Kensplanet (talk) 13:23, 17 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
~~Needs references in economy section.~~
Done. A to-do has been added for the economy section
Add more references in the Economy Section. Delete trivia from this section. Facts which cannot be proved must be deleted immediately.
Soon the editors of the page will fix this.--->>>Kensplanet (talk) 13:40, 17 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
~~Many sentences like "tiles made from red clay and baked, is used as roof" have wrong syntax. It should be "tiles.....are used..." in this case.~~
Done. All such sentences have been removed.
~~You could link PCPIR to Nayachar which defines PCPIR.~~
Done. The below sentence has been added in the Economy section.
This will be the first Petroleum, Chemicals, Petrochemicals Investment Region (PCPIR) of the country, with similar PCPIR's existing at Nayachar in West Bengal, Panipat in Haryana and Achutapuram in Andhra Pradesh.--Kensplanet (talk) 12:27, 18 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
~~"During this tremendous growth phase, these banks spawned a whole generation of bankers from Mangalore across these firms from the top to bottom". - What does it mean?~~
Done. This sentence has been deleted since it doesn't add any encyclopedic value to the article.------Kensplanet (talk) 13:47, 17 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]