Wikipedia:Peer review/Walter Rhodes/archive1

Walter Rhodes

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I need help from fellow editors to review the content of the article to ensure that it is suitable for Wikipedia publishing. I would like to ensure that the article does not sound like an advertisement, but as an article to inform readers about the shared services and outsourcing development in Perak, Malaysia as well as the parties involved in it.

Thanks, Cistine (talk) 02:48, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Brief comment: First, an apology for the delay in reaching the article, due to the Peer Review backlog arising from a chronic shortage of reviewers.

I note that the article has an underconstruction banner. At present the article is only 544 words long, which suggests that it is still in an early stage of construction; peer review is meant for "articles that have already undergone extensive work, often as a way of preparing a featured article candidate." Basic article-building needs to be carried out on the talk-page, among editors who can make knowledgeable contributions to the subject. I think, therefore, that this nomination to PR is somewhat premature. My suggestion would be to withdraw it and renominate when it is in a more developed state. Brianboulton (talk) 16:54, 6 July 2009 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Agree with the above comments, here are some suggestions for improvement.

• The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself (but Dr Ng is only in the lead and infobox).
• My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way. Please see WP:LEAD
• There are numerous uses of abbreviations which are undefined (ICT for one). The usual method is to spell out the full name the first time, follwoed by the abbreviation in parentheses.
• Per WP:CITE references come AFTER punctuation, and are usually at the end of a sentence or phrase
• Article needs more references, my rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
• Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
• Four of the ten refs given are either the company website or that of their partner firm - try to get more independent third party sources - is there press coverage of the firm?
• Any chance for a free image - a building or employee?
• Per WP:HEAD, the names of sections should not repeat the name of the article
• Why is it named "Walter Rhodes"? Seems an odd name for a Malaysian firm

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 19:59, 6 July 2009 (UTC)