User:Whoop whoop pull up/Wikipedia III: Revenge of Jimbo

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This following page contains material which is kept because it is considered humorous. It is not intended, nor should it be used, for any remotely serious purpose.

Cast[edit]

As the movie develops, add anything necessary to this list.

  • Narrator
  • Jimbo Wales
  • Willy on Wheels
  • Whoop whoop pull up
  • 12 stewards
  • 10 vandals
  • Eiffel
  • The Bread
  • Attorney General
  • Deletionists
  • Inclusionists
  • Sockpuppets
  • Rogue Admin
  • Martin
  • Cobi
  • Deckiller
  • Mr. Treason
  • JarlaxleArtemis
  • Mav
  • Police
  • Newbie
  • Moderator
  • Drahcir
  • J.delanoy
  • FanaticDeletionistBot
  • Throaty Voice
  • Mutated Voice
  • ClueBot
  • Raul654
  • Silhouettes
  • Ozone aurora
  • Heavenly Angelic Voice from Above
  • Magister Mathematicae
  • Puppetmaster
  • Mathbot
  • Thekillerpenguin
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan

Script[edit]

Scene 0: Introduction[edit]

Starts with a black background with theme song playing.

Main theme of the theme song.
  • Narrator (out of sight, but readily and easily heard):

A long time into the future, in a website not far away:

The face of Wikipedia has been brightened. The Coalition of Vandals has been overthrown, and all its members except the omnipresent WILLY ON WHEELS and the VANDAL vaporised. JIMBO and his cohorts have restored peace to the Foundation, and promotions and attraction of new users has been accelerated in an effort to help restore the former glory of WIKIPEDIA.

Little do they know, however, that this facade of peace is soon to be destroyed. WILLY ON WHEELS has survived the assault on the Coalition headquarters, and has embarked on a meatpuppeteering episode of unprecedented proportions. Meanwhile, a new rebellion, inspired by WILLY ON WHEELS, is brewing on an obscure, faraway planet, and its leaders are biding their time, before WIKIPEDIA can be destroyed in an episode of all-out vandalism.

Will Jimbo win, or will he be destroyed forever? The single decision of a newly promoted bureaucrat may hold the difference between survival, or, destruction . . .

Scene 1: The Vandal Procession[edit]

Willy on Wheels slowly marches out from a pall of darkness into a sea of light. As he walks forwards, Vandal 1 slowly marches into the light, slightly behind and to the right of Willy. Then, Vandal 2 appears even further behind, and to the opposite side. Camera moves to overhead and stays there. March continues on, all the way up to Vandal 10. Vandals then slowly march to the bottom of the screen and out of sight.

Scene 2: The New Bureaucrat[edit]

Jimbo is standing on a large podium, behind a microphone desk with the logo of Wikipedia painted prominently on the front, on a white background. 12 stewards sit at curved Supreme Court-esque benches, curving towards the camera, with 6 on each side of Jimbo. All the Wikipedians sit in a vast array of chairs below the podium, extending far into the distance. Whoop whoop pull up stands in front of the podium, facing Jimbo. He places his right hand on his heart.

  • Jimbo: Do you most solemnly swear to preserve, protect, and defend the Five Pillars of Wikipedia?
  • Whoop whoop pull up: I do.
  • Jimbo: Then I hereby declare you the newest bureaucrat of Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia!
  • Whoop whoop pull up: Yay!

All stewards run forwards to hug Whoop whoop pull up. Slow fade out.

Scene 3: The Lair of Willy on Wheels[edit]

Willy on Wheels is sitting on a huge throne inside of a huge lair - I mean hall. His 10 key vandals stand by his side.

  • Willy on Wheels: The infinitesimal's reciprocal is the infinite!
  • Vandals (all except vandal 6): THE INFINITE!!!
  • Vandal 6: Oh, yes...the infinite.
  • Willy on Wheels: Don't give me such disrespect! (blocks Vandal 6)
  • Vandal 6: DONTBLOCKMEYOUIDIOTIDONLIKEUISHALLSBLOCKUWRITENOWDONTBLOCKMEYOUIDIOTIDONLIKEUISHALLSBLOCKUWRITENOWDONTBLOCKMEYOUIDIOTIDONLIKEUISHALLSBLOCKUWRITENOWDONTBLOCKMEYOUIDIOTIDONLIKEUISHALLSBLOCKUWRITENOWDONTBLOCKMEYOUIDIOTIDONLIKEUISHALLSBLOCKUWRITENOW
  • Willy on Wheels: OK, you win. (unblocks Vandal 6)
  • Vandal 6: YEAH!
  • Vandal 2 (whispers): Show some respect!
  • Vandal 9: Omigosh! I need to get a perm!
  • Willy on Wheels: OK, back up...The infinitesimal's reciprocal is the infinite!...Just as Jimbo Wales, in our last encounter, gained infinite power while I became infinitesimal, now that I have successfully regained a finite amount of strength, so shall the balance topple the other way this time! Do not forget our first encounter! FOR VANDALISM, FALSEHOOODS AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINJUSTICE!
  • Vandals: FOR VANDALISM!!!
  • Willy on Wheels: Yes! Now my master plan can finally be brought into practice. Vandal 1, bring me the data sheets.
  • Vandal 1: Yes sirree!

(leaves and returns with stacks upon stacks of papers)

  • Willy on Wheels: This here, my fellow vandals, are the vandalism records for the last decade. See here! A straight drop since Jimbo Wales caused my fall!

(gasps of shock and horror)

  • Willy on Wheels: We must return ourselves to the great level of our glory days between our first and second encounters with Jimbo Wales! For this, I can only say this: vandalise! Create vandalism bots, make sockpuppets of yourselves, write auto-vandalising scripts - and, I say, we could use some help from the hackers. Do anything it takes, but vandalise! When Wikipedia falls, we'll have the infinite power instead this time! Third time lucky! FOR VANDALISM!
  • Vandals: FOR VANDALISM!!!

(camera zooms out)

Scene 4: On Top of Wikipedia[edit]

  • Jimbo Wales: So, how do you feel, now that you have such a great responsibility?
  • Whoop whoop pull up: Um...OK?
  • Jimbo Wales (whisper): What did you mean when you said that you were wondering whether WoW had...
  • Whoop whoop pull up: Don't you remember what he did in his first encounter with you?
  • Jimbo Wales: Yes, we couldn't find him...but we found him this time, and we saw his spirit of vandalism deflate!
  • Whoop whoop pull up: I suppose so, but still...
  • Jimbo Wales: (Clears throat) Never mind! Let's celebrate!

(celebration for Whoop whoop pull up's new user right begins)

Vandals 4 and 5 are, at that moment, climbing up the Tampa Skyscraper, where this meeting is being held. Camera moves up with them, zooming in on them, so that we can never know their exact location.

  • Vandal 4: [name bleeped], do we really have to do this?
  • Vandal 5: Shut up, [name bleeped]! It's WoW's orders!
  • Vandal 4: Grrr.

Vandal 5 takes out a megaphone and begins shouting into it.

  • Vandal 5: Attention, all Wikipedians. It is my humble duty to inform you that your core policies have been breached.
  • Eiffel: But...Jimbo...how?
  • Jimbo Wales: Shh. Let's keep on listening. That voice sounds...somehow...quite familiar to me.
  • Vandal 5: The fault, dear Wikipedians, lies in your beloved Tampa Skyscraper.
  • The Bread: Good heavens! But hasn't this happened before?
  • Vandal 4 (to Vandal 5): (hissed) Shut up! Now it's my turn!
  • Vandal 5 (ignoring Vandal 4): It fails WP:CRYSTAL due to its nonexistence, not to mention the fact that it is unlikely to exist in the near future.

The Attorney General from the first film bursts into the hall of Wikipedians.

  • Attorney General (to Jimbo): And after all, you still seem to think that you can run your own online country. Now, where are you going to get the land to build the Tampa Skyscraper? (voice dripping with sarcasm)
  • Jimbo Wales: Haven't I told you before? You're as fat as Joe Mamma!
  • Attorney General: GUARDS!!! Arrest that man!
  • Vandal 5: Therefore, this tower is now being placed on WP:MfD.
  • Deletionist 1: Delete per nom.
  • Sockpuppet: YES VOTE
  • Rouge Admin (smirking): Closing discussion. The result was delete.
  • Vandal 5 (to Vandal 4, not using megaphone): OK, we're done. Now let's get away from this skyscraper! It'll be deleted any moment now!
  • Vandal 4: I'd like to see you try that! Get down there? We're on the rooftop!

Camera abruptly zooms out, to show that they are, indeed, on the roof of the Tampa Skyscraper, with no visible means of escape.

  • Vandal 5 (very quietly): Oops - I hadn't thought of that.
  • Martin: Clear out, everybody! Get down the Tampa Skyscraper now! We don't want to be on it when it gets deleted! Out, everybody, out!

Everyone - apart from the vandals - makes it out in time. Suddenly, the tower disappears before everyone's eyes. A Wilhelm scream is heard as Vandals 4 and 5 are seen falling down from a great height. They hit the ground with a tremendous noise and shoot right through the soil, disappearing from the view of everyone above ground.

  • Jimbo Wales: So it was the vandals. They really are here.
  • Cobi: Come on. They've always been here. At least, in small groups.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: But these are the ones we've defeated in our second encounter with Willy on Wheels! If they're back...
  • Deckiller: Then it can only mean one thing.

Long pause inserted for dramatic effect. Camera abruptly zooms out, showing all the users.

  • All: Wikipedia may be in danger once again.

Camera abruptly zooms out once again.

  • All: Oh, no!

Even while in knowledge of this, they remain unaware that a few sockpuppets and rouge admins have infiltrated the Wikipedia.

  • Jimbo Wales: Don't worry, folks. If we could do it last time, we can do it again.
  • All: FOR WIKIPEDIA!!! YEAH!!!

Confetti blows around in the air. Camera starts panning downwards. Jimbo's army of users gradually disappears from sight.

Scene 5: And Back Underground[edit]

In our descent, we see Vandals 4 and 5 still falling through the soil. Suddenly, they fall through a huge rock and then a spacetime warp, and find themselves back in Willy on Wheels' lair.

  • Vandal 4: Ow.
  • Vandal 5 (screaming): Trust you to say that! I think I've broken something already...
  • Willy on Wheels (sharp): Vandals! Is this the way to report back to your master? No. Then why...
  • Vandal 4: Sorry, Willy - a minor technical hitch.
  • Willy on Wheels: So why don't I disable WillyBot and blame that on "a minor technical hitch"?
  • Vandal 5: Couldn't you do that to Wikipedia?
  • Willy on Wheels: Ooh...that's an idea. Well, never mind, were you successful in your mission?
  • Vandal 4: That depends.
  • Willy on Wheels: What do you mean?
  • Vandal 4: On your definition of "successful".
  • Willy on Wheels: (sigh) Did you destroy the Tampa Skyscraper?
  • Vandal 4: Yes, but it still depends.
  • Willy on Wheels: (heavy sigh) Well, on what now?
  • Vandal 5 (whispers to Vandal 4): Please, don't make him any angrier now.
  • Vandal 4 (ignoring Vandal 5): On whether you count breaking every bone in our bodies as a success.

Willy on Wheels faints.

  • Willy on Wheels (mumbling): With minions of such low intelligence, this is probably going to be harder than I thought.
  • Vandal 4 (poco a poco diminuendo): Sorry, sir, but we have all had some brain damage, thanks to one too many botched break-ins. I was wondering, could we get a blah blah blah blah blah...

Sound fades away.

Scene 6: The Beginnings of the Trial[edit]

Camera quickly goes back above ground to show Jimbo's army of users. Suddenly, the Attorney General springs out.

  • Attorney General: As I said, Jimbo: you're going with me to the trial. Anyone wishes to speak in his defense?

Whoop whoop pull up's hand shoots up.

  • Attorney General: Very good.

Cut to scene in a bar.

  • Wikipedian 1: Hey! God! Did you see that, Wikipedian 2?
  • Wikipedian 2: What is it?
  • Wikipedian 1: Jimbo! He's been brought to court!
  • Mr. Treason: I WILL SUE YOU IN A COURT OF...(starts choking incontrollably)
  • Wikipedian 2: Blocked.
  • Wikipedian 1: Not just his editing capability, but also his trachea...
  • Wikipedian 2: Anyway, that's terrible news! We must do something! Straight away! Now!
  • Vandal 3 (in disguise): Can't you two just go to his defense?
  • Wikipedians: Great idea!
  • Vandal 3 (secretly holding an ampoule of caesium ready to break and drop into glass of water): You'd better get going. The trial starts now!
  • Wikipedians: Omigosh!...
  • Vandal 9 (disguised as Waitress): I need to get a perm!
  • Wikipedians: ...we'd better...AAAARGH!

Vandal 3 drops caesium in water. Bar blows up, blowing the Wikipedians (and everyone else in the bar) sky-high. The Wikipedians crash through a building and find themselves in a court...to see...

  • Wikipedians: Jimbo!
  • Jimbo Wales: Er...hi?
  • Wikipedians: We'll come to your defense now!
  • Jimbo Wales: Er...thanks?

Suddenly, all the users crash into the courtroom.

  • Attorney General: Hey! How'd you all get here? This is unconstitutional!
  • Users: We're sorry, it's just that...
  • Attorney General: Shut up! (bangs hammer) This session of the court has now officially begun!
  • Mav: Er, pardon me, but is a caesium-induced blast constitutional?!
  • Attorney General: (Thumbs through a copy of Index of Constitutional Knowledge)...it's not in the index!
  • All: HE DOESN'T KNOW! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE! YAY!!!

They all run out of the courtroom and into the (newly rebuilt) Tampa Skyscraper.

  • Attorney General: You can't do this! This is unconstitutional! Arrest those men!
  • Police: YES, SIR!

Police chase users.

  • Drahcir: We've got to get out of here first!
  • Vandal 8: Hey, while those Wikipedians are distracted, let's damage Wikipedia again!
  • Vandal 7: Great idea!
  • Vandal 9: OMIGOSH! I REALLY NEED TO GET A PERM!

Every article on Wikipedia gets redirected to ED

  • Wikipedian 1: Uh, Jimbo, I think we have a problem.

(camera quickly moves far to the right)

Scene 7: The Inclusionist-Deletionist War[edit]

  • Deletionist 1 (calmly placing all articles on Wikipedia on RfD): Delete. Implausible redirects.
  • Inclusionist 1: Uh, please note that they were originally legitimate articles, before somebody went and redirected them. (glances around) Also, remember, redirects are cheap.
  • Inclusionist 2: Besides, can't we just revert?
  • Chorus of deletionists: No. We can always just use {{sofixit}}.
  • Deletionist 2: Also, the information that these redirects are legitimate is totally unsourced (0 ghits). Extreme Speedy Delete.
  • Inclusionist 3: Ahem. Where did it say that?
  • Deletionist 1: Exactly nowhere, of course. It was deleted.
  • Inclusionist 2: Then shouldn't we check the history?
  • Deletionist 3: It was deleted by virtue of never having been created. Strong Delete.
  • Inclusionist 4: Whaddaya know, you guys? You're just making up a big conspiracy.
  • Deletionist 4: A conspiracy?! No, I'm not...am I?
  • Deletionists 1, 2 and 3: No, you're not.
  • Deletionist 4: Phew.
  • Inclusionist 5: Extra Strong Speedy Super Duper Pooper Keep 'cos all concepts are notable. (turns) Remember, folks: Wiki is not paper, and there is no deadline.
  • Deletionist 5: Shut up.
  • Newbie: Surely all users are allowed to vote?
  • All: OMIGOSH!...
  • Vandal 9: I need to get a perm!
  • Inclusionist 3: Didn't you just get one 1 hour ago?
  • Vandal 9: Silence!...Don't you love my perm?
  • Deletionist 2: Delete perm, unnotable example of a four-letter word.
  • Vandal 9: Omigosh!...Have to get another perm! (vanishes)
  • All: ...HE SAID THE V WORD! THROW HIM OUT OF THE AIR LOCK!!!
  • Moderator: All those in favour say "Aye".
  • Inclusionist 1: Aye!
  • Deletionist 2: Aye!
  • Inclusionist 4: Aye!
  • Newbie: I...
  • Moderator: Consensus reached!
  • Newbie: ...disagree!
  • Deletionist 6: Too late.
  • Inclusionist 6: I don't buy your deletionist arguments.
  • Deletionist 6: Neither do we. They should be deleted.
  • Inclusionist 7: SEE?! SEE!!? SELF-CONTRADICTION!!! YOU MUST BE MEMBERS OF THE CABAL!!!
  • Deletionist 7 (in a rage): SILENCE! THERE IS NO CABAL!!!
  • Inclusionist 8: OH YES THERE IS!!!
  • Deletionist 8: OH NO THERE ISN'T!!!
  • Inclusionist 9: OH YES THERE IS!!!
  • Deletionist 9: OH NO THERE ISN'T!!!
  • Inclusionist 10: ATTACK THEM!!!
  • Deletionist 10: ATTACK THEM!!!

Opening 8 notes of Symphony No. 5 (Beethoven) play

  • Moderator: You can't do this! You can't bite each other, even if you're not newbies!
  • All except moderator: Shut up!
  • Moderator: You're mad! (joins fight)
  • Vandal 10: Hee hee hee...good to see Wikipedia self-destruct. Now, to report back to WoW!
  • Narrator: Caution; violent scene.
  • Deletionists: Scene deleted.

Screen turns black, and then shows, to reveal a bloody mass of leaking meat.

  • Rouge Admin: Closing discussion. The result was delete. We must be very careful when dealing with such subtle potential violations of WP:NONAZIS.

Scene 8: The Sad Tale of Willy on Wheels 2[edit]

For the first installment, please see WP:WPMOVIE2#Scene 19: The Sad Tale of Willy on Wheels 1.

Camera zooms back to the Wikipedians, now in the Tampa Skyscraper, oblivious to the damage that has been done to Wikipedia.

  • Whoop whoop pull up: All right Jimbo, now can you carry on the tale?
  • Jimbo Wales: Of what?
  • Whoop whoop pull up: WoW.

The Erlking starts playing again.

  • Jimbo Wales: Okay. See, the King Vandal is not a real user, but is an essence of vandalism. If he thinks you would be a good vandal, he'll come for you if you go close enough to his hideout. Which is in...
  • Cobi: The WikiWoods?
  • Jimbo Wales: Exactly. So the King Vandal entered WoW and got him to become the vandals' commander.
  • Drahcir: So that's how it started! But how does the King Vandal choose?
  • Jimbo Wales: Anon IPs are more subsceptible to him. Account creation creates a shield around you that makes it slightly more difficult for him. (But not much more difficult. Especially if you're in a bad mood.) A few users get only partially affected by him, so that they have good edits as well as bad edits - but these are not so common.
  • J.delanoy: Yes, but that's because more of them are becoming full-fledged vandals! Now if you'll excuse me, I'll have to get out of this room because I have some rollbacking to attend to.
  • Jimbo Wales: Of course.

(music abruptly stops)

  • Wikipedians: FOR WIKIPEDIA!!!

Scene 9: FanaticDeletionistBot[edit]

  • The Bread: Alright let's check the Deletion Log

Deletion Log: (clogged with complete deletion of all Wikipedia content)

  • The Bread: Gah!
  • The Bread: Better quickly recreate them!

1 yoctosecond later, he's done.

  • The Bread: Phew!
  • The Bread: Let's check first
  • Deletion Log: (clogged with complete deletion of all Wikipedia content by FanaticDeletionistBot)
  • The Bread: Not again! Stupid bots!

User:FanaticDeletionistBot - I am a bot that helps delete all content on Wikipedia.
A few seconds later...

  • The Bread: Take that

User:FanaticDeletionistBot - I am a bastard that destroys Wikipedia and also a LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE. End of line.

  • The Bread: (healthy evil laughter)
  • The Bread: Omigosh! How thoughtful
Octagon-warning.svg

You have been blocked indefinitely from editing Wikipedia as a result of your constructive edits. You are free to make destructive edits after the block has expired, but please note that constructive edits (including page creation or addition of sensible text), brilliant prose, deliberate information, userpage creations, vandalism reversion and repeated, blatant violations of our policies concerning a biased point of view and biographies of dead penguins will not be tolerated. You are a lousy bitch, FanaticDeletionistBot Delete me!! recent deletions

  • The Bread: DAMMIT!!!
  • The Bread: I have to alert Jimbo!!!

Scene 10: The Bureaucrat Realises[edit]

  • Vandal 6: MWAHAHAHA if you dont gimme yr server i ajoqhftqhtoqhtoahfyaoro qohoahroh0haht0ah0ha0gh!!!1!1!!1eleven!!1!1!!!!one!!!!1!!!!!
  • ClueBot V: {{db-nonsense}}
  • Whoop whoop pull up: (annoyed) How'd you get back? (pause) (changes expression back to normal) Anyway, thanks for that.
  • J.delanoy: Block Vandal 6!
  • Vandal 6: (random character strings)
  • J.delanoy: Why is it not working? I'm an admin...right?

(dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun DUN)

  • Throaty Voice: No, you are not.

(voice mutates as it continues)

  • Mutating Voice: You have been deprived of your...
  • Willy on Wheels: ...admin rights! I SHALL RULE THE WORLD!!!11!!eleven!!!!one million one hundred and eleven thousand one hundred and eleven!!!!
  • Whoop whoop pull up: Uh...I can only suggest a link to Grandiose delusions. Where are you, anyway? Still stuck in WikiJail.
  • Willy on Wheels: That's what you think! I now have a secret underground lair! Right under the Tampa Skyscraper!
  • Whoop whoop pull up: Not a very smart thing to reveal.
  • Willy on Wheels: Precisely!...er...oops.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: I have to alert Jimbo!

Screen fades

Scene 11: ClueBot Problems[edit]

Screen shows

  • Vandal 1: Hi Vandal 2!
  • Vandal 2: JIMBO IS A FAGGOT
  • Vandal 1: Good work!
  • Vandal 9: Omigosh! I need to get another perm!

Suddenly, ClueBot enters.

  • ClueBot:

Welcome to Wikipedia. Everyone is welcome to make constructive contributions to Wikipedia, but at least one of your recent edits, such as the one you made to Jimbo Wales, did not appear to be constructive and has been automatically reverted by ClueBot.

  • Please use the sandbox for any test edits you would like to make, and take a look at the welcome page to learn more about contributing to this encyclopedia. Note that human editors do monitor recent changes to Wikipedia articles, and administrators have the ability to block users from editing if they repeatedly engage in vandalism.
  • ClueBot produces very few false positives, but it does happen. If you believe the change you made should not have been detected as unconstructive, please report it here, remove this warning from your talk page, and then make the edit again.
  • The following is the log entry regarding this warning: Jimbo Wales was changed by 64.19.123.67 (u) (t) making a minor change with obscenities on 2010-12-02T20:10:18+00:00 . Thank you. ClueBot (talk)
  • Willy on Wheels (to ClueBot): ! ! ! !Stop warning my vandals! ! ! ! !THEY SHOW THE TRUTH! ! ! ! (blocks ClueBot indefinitely)
  • Willy on Wheels: Haha, take this!

"Operation Enduring Encyclopedia" is changed to "Operation Destroying Encyclopedia"

and then it is reverted

  • ClueBot NG:

Welcome to Wikipedia. Everyone is welcome to make constructive contributions to Wikipedia, but at least one of your recent edits, such as the one you made to User:ClueBot, did not appear to be constructive and has been automatically reverted (undone) by ClueBot NG.

  • Please use the sandbox for any test edits you would like to make, and take a look at the welcome page to learn more about contributing to this encyclopedia. Note that human editors do monitor recent changes to Wikipedia articles, and administrators have the ability to block users from editing if they repeatedly engage in vandalism.
  • ClueBot NG produces very few false positives, but it does happen. If you believe the change you made should not have been detected as unconstructive, please read about it, report it here, remove this warning from your talk page, and then make the edit again.
  • The following is the log entry regarding this warning: User:ClueBot was changed by 173.11.36.153 (u) (t) ANN scored at 0.97261 on 2011-03-28T17:24:51+00:00 . Thank you.
  • Willy on Wheels: Aaaargh, son of a Human feces.jpg
  • Whoop whoop pull up: (unblocks original ClueBot) Beating us ain't so easy, eh? Now I'm going to alert Jimbo about you!

Scene 12: What Wikipedia Is Not[edit]

Enter website simulation. Camera pans out to a different room of the Tampa Skyscraper labelled "Lecture Room 1 / Lecture In Progress / What Wikipedia is not".

Professor Raul654 walks in.

  • Raul654: Alright, newbies. I'm going to show you something.

Enter simulated reality.
Cesium water.theora.ogv
ozoneaurora Over 9000 uploads Subscribe

Cesium water.theora.ogv


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0 likes 0 dislikes
Uploaded by ozoneaurora on 28 May 2008

Video description: A reaction of a small piece of caesium with cold water. Hydrogen is liberated that burns, and very strongly alkaline caesium hydroxide is formed in solution.

A silhouette appears.

  • Silhouette 1: Like!

257 silhouettes appear one after another. After the first few, they are sped through very quickly.

  • Silhouettes Dislike. Thumbs down!

Another silhouette appears.

  • Silhouette 259: Nice please upload to my cool website qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm.com
  • Silhouette 259: Nice please upload to my cool website qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm.com

And yet another silhouette appears. He looks at Silhouette 259's comments, shakes his head, and writes next to his comment:

  • Silhouette 260: This has been flagged as spam.
  • Silhouette 261: 257 people want to drink caesium washed down with water
  • Silhouettes 262 to 65537: Like! Like like like like like like like! SUPER DOOPER LIKE!!!

Fast-forward through simulation.

At the end of the day:
ozoneaurora Over 9000 uploads Subscribe

Cesium water.theora.ogv


Like Dislike
28571097501614146 likes 129485719275 dislikes
Uploaded by ozoneaurora on 28 May 2008
Video description: A reaction of a small piece of caesium with cold water. Hydrogen is liberated that burns, and very strongly alkaline caesium hydroxide is formed in solution.

  • Ozone aurora: Stupid meatpuppets. I'll take this video down.
  • Mr. Treason: But you can't do that, 'cos I WILL SUE YOU IN A COURT OF TRENTON, NEW JERSEY AND HEIL GIRLVINYL!
  • Ozone aurora: Help!...Jimbo!...Save me?
  • Silhouette 65538: Jimbo? Who's Jimbo?
  • Silhouette 65539: I suppose he's the latest ENEMY of Heil Girlvinyl.
  • Ozone aurora: Jimbo?
  • Heavenly Angelic Voice from Above (not visible, but readily heard): When in doubt, use {{helpme}}.
  • Mr. Treason: There is no {{helpme}}. There is no wiki software. There is no Jimbo whatsoever. (begins healthy laughter)
  • Ozone aurora: Gulp!

A vast cavern of doom approaches. It encroaches on Ozone aurora minute by minute.

Then cut back to the lecture room.

  • Raul654: Don't let that happen to this website, folks! Find those vandals, and warn and block them if they don't listen. FOR WIKIPEDIA!
  • Newbies: YAY!!! VANDALISM REVERSION!!! FOR WIKIPEDIA!!!

Door flings open.

  • Whoop whoop pull up: I couldn't help watching what you were showing them. In fact, I think we've sort of got an idea on how to destroy the vandals.
  • Raul654: How?
  • Whoop whoop pull up: For that, I think we should call a meeting.
  • Raul654: I'll do it.

Scene 13: The Wikipedian Meeting[edit]

Jimbo is standing on a large podium again in the same room. The set-up is exactly the same as in Scene 2.

  • Jimbo: The meeting has commenced.
  • Magister Mathematicae: Whoop whoop pull up, you may begin.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: (clears throat) All right. Since our last meeting (in court), the following has happened: all the articles on Wikipedia have been deleted, except Uncyclopedia. We are unsure if Encyclopedia Dramatica (article) is still visible, as the vandals seem to have made Wikipedia unreadable. The Main Page is still accessible, although we do not know how long it will be. Save it while we can!

Everyone gasps in shock and horror.

  • Whoop whoop pull up: Naturally, some have tried to protect the articles, for example The Bread. I'll let him speak for himself.
  • The Bread: It has come to my attention that the vandals are running vandalbots. I have succeeded in finding four of them: User:LawsuitBot, User:ProVandalBot, User:PageMoveBot and User:FanaticDeletionistBot. However, I have no idea who their operators are, but I think we may be up against some strong vandals. It may even be the strongest three.
  • All: No! The greatest three vandals have returned!

Camera cuts to a stormy area of Wikipedia. Many vandals are seen frozen in an ice block. Suddenly, lightning strikes the ice block and the vandals thaw out. They run towards the Tampa Skyscraper and burst into the meeting room.

  • All: Oh no! More vandals!
  • Vandals: Please, no, no, no! We intend to help the 'pedia from now on. Please?
  • Some admins: Fine, fine. If you make any trouble, we'll freeze you again!
  • Ex-vandals: Thank you! (burst into tears)
  • The Bread: All right now, I'll let Whoop whoop finish up.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: I have seen Willy on Wheels, and he has unintentionally revealed just one thing: that his secret lair is just under the Tampa Skyscraper. This is going to be tough, given that he's just gone and gotten himself oversight rights. He was probably given those powers by one of his minions (aka lesser vandals). It seems, though, that there may be a way to defeat him. Just think: how did we defeat him before? I happen to have an idea, inspired by Raul654's tutorial.
  • All: What is it?
  • Whoop whoop pull up: It is not very practicable, however. If we temporarily disable the wiki software, he will be powerless. Then, we can capture him and ship him off to the most unspeakable place on the planet.
  • All: HOORAY! FOR WIKIPEDIA!!!
  • Jimbo: Alright, the meeting has ended. I wish you all the best of luck.

Scene 14: The Association of Sock Puppets[edit]

Camera shifts slowly to a room with many sockpuppets inside.

  • Puppetmaster: Welcome to the Association of Sock Puppets. Are we all here?
  • Sockpuppets: YES VOTE
  • Puppetmaster: Good. Today's topic for discussion is: Should Wikipedia be deleted?
  • Sockpuppets: YES VOTE
  • Sockpuppets: YES VOTE
  • Sockpuppets: YES VOTE
  • Puppetmaster: Good. And I think that concludes today's meeting of the Association of Sock Puppets. All sockpuppets are henceforth dismissed. Till tomorrow!
  • Sockpuppets: YES VOTE
  • Puppetmaster (softly): Maybe this was a rather stupid idea.
  • Sockpuppets: YES VOTE
  • Puppetmaster: Shut up!
  • Sockpuppets: YES VOTE
  • Puppetmaster: AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
  • Sockpuppets: YES VOTE
  • Sockpuppets: YES VOTE
  • Sockpuppets: YES VOTE

Floor falls in

  • Puppetmaster: BETTER!
  • Faraway sockpuppet voice: YES VOTE

Puppetmaster's eyes suddenly bulge; he looks straight at the camera.

  • Puppetmaster:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scene 15: Main Page[edit]

After John Broughton created Wikipedia: The Missing Manual, Vandal 1 gets an idea...

  • Vandal 1: Yes! Let's write the book Main Page: How to Vandalise and Destroy Wikipedia.

Vandal 1 proceeds to write the book. Show him scribbling in fast-forward, with the William Tell Overture playing.

  • Vandal 1: At last! Done! Now to write an article about it on Wikipedia.
  • Vandal 2: Um...where?
  • Vandal 1: Simple! Replace the Main Page with it!
  • Vandal 2: Great idea! But...the protection settings...
  • Vandal 1: Bother! Where did the hackers go after last time?

So the vandals called the hackers and the hackers switched the protection settings...

  • Vandal 1: Goody goody gumdrops!

Vandal 1 carries out his plan.

Main Page gets deleted. Vandals 1 and 2 pull off their faces, which are revealed to be fake. They are actually the notorious vandals Mr. Treason and JarlaxleArtemis.

  • Mr. Treason: Goody goody gumdrops!

Whoop whoop pull up and Wikipedians 1 through 50 burst in. Puppetmaster, sockpuppets, and rouge admin vanish before the Wikipedians notice them. Mr. Treason and JarlaxleArtemis are less lucky.

  • Whoop whoop pull up: Ah HA! Catch those vandals!
  • Wikipedians 1 through 5: Sir yes sir!

Mr. Treason and JarlaxleArtemis bolt.

  • Wikipedian 1: You can run, but you can't hide! We will catch you, and we will block you!
  • Wikipedian 2: And your trachea...

TO BE CONTINUED

They chase after Mr. Treason and JarlaxleArtemis. Fade out.

Scene 16: The Willypedia Hymn[edit]

Willy on Wheels on wheels!
  • Willy on Wheels:

On the First day of Christmas my True Willy gave to me, 100 page moves!

On the Second day of Christmas my True Willy gave to me, 200 goatse.cx hello.jpgs.

blah blah blah

On the Twelfth day of Christmas my True Willy gave to me, 1200 Willy-puppets performing 5,481,316 page moves!

The above is inserted into MediaWiki:Sitenotice

  • Deckiller: Um, Jimmy, I think we have a problem...

Scene 17: Whoop whoop pull up's Last Stand[edit]

Third Battle of Tampa City
Part of Wikipedian-Uncyclopedian War
USS Tide sinking.jpg
The W.P.S. Tornado sinking after hitting an Uncyclopedian mine in Tampa Bay.
Date 6 June 2017 – 9 June 2017
Location Tampa City, Florida
Result Uncyclopedian victory
Belligerents
Wikipedia Uncyclopedia
Commanders and leaders

Jimbo Wales
Whoop whoop pull up
Cluebot VII  
Eiffel

The Bread  
Willy on Wheels
Strength
932,000 users,
1 tank,
394 submarines,
2 heavy cruisers
857,000 vandals,
382 tanks,
1,650 submarines,
4 aircraft carriers,
8 heavy cruisers,
15 light cruisers,
27 destroyers
Casualties and losses
888,000 users killed,
1 tank destroyed,
305 submarines sunk,
2 heavy cruisers sunk
457,000 vandals killed,
273 tanks destroyed,
417 submarines sunk,
1 aircraft carrier destroyed,
2 heavy cruisers destroyed,
5 light cruisers destroyed,
20 destroyers destroyed
  • Jimbo: Here is our attack plan. Our land forces to the north of Tampa will attack the city and try to gain control of the northern suburbs. Meanwhile, the W.P.S. Tornado and W.P.S. Garrote will land troops on Tampa Beach. Those forces and our my command tank shall attempt to link up with our land forces, cutting the Uncyclopedian forces in two. All in favor say "AYE"!
  • All including Jimbo: AYE!
  • MathBot:

(Cut to scene of Tornado and Garrote steaming into Tampa Bay, Garrote leading. It disgorges its troops safely and fires into the Uncyclopedian gun battery, causing it to explode and obliterating the Uncyclopedian First Army. However, the Tornado strikes an Uncyclopedian mine and explodes. It sinks with all hands.) (Jimbo's command tank moves inland from Tampa Beach.)

  • Jimbo: Cluebot VII?
  • Cluebot VII: Here!
  • Jimbo: Good! (A bomb lands directly on top of the tank, destroying it. Jimbo leaps out just in time. Cluebot VII is blown to bits.)
  • Jimbo: No - no - NO!
  • Whoop whoop pull up: (in city) ATTACK! (a nuke vaporises 99.999% of his army) RETREAT!

(cut to scene of surviving 0.000001% of the Wikipedian army running and escaping in submarines, while Willy on Wheels proceeds to destroy Tampa City.)

  • Willy: I WIN! I WIN!

(a stray piece of metal comes flying down and concusses him)

  • Willy: What's this metal? (examines metal) I think it came from the sodium article. Well, never mind...I WON! (walks off)

Suddenly, it begins to rain.

The sodium ignites.

Large Sodium Explosion.jpg

The entire screen is filled with a huge sodium explosion. After the flames die down, the screen turns completely black.

  • Mav (in the distance): Hooray! Plan B was successful!

Cut to a submarine. Mav, Jimbo and Whoop whoop pull up are visible.

  • Jimbo: Good work! The sodium explosion killed 300,000 vandals.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: We're still heavily outnumbered, however. If we want to restore Wikipedia to its rightful users, we'll have to think of something better.
  • Jimbo: How are the Wikipedians searching for Mr. Treason and JarlaxleArtemis?
  • Whoop whoop pull up: I tried emailing them and leaving messages on their talk pages, but there's no response. I think they're taking steps to protect themselves from the vandals.
  • Jimbo: That makes sense, but from reconnaissance flights, they haven't been seen for the last three days.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: That is very worrying news. I hope they're OK. We can't afford to lose any more users now.

Camera fades out.

Scene 18: Search and Rescue[edit]

  • Jimbo: I think we need someone to check on the Wikipedians that were sent to find Mr. Treason and JarlaxleArtemis.

A penguin waddles up

  • Thekillerpenguin:I'll do it, sir.
  • Jimbo: What makes you qualified?
  • Thekillerpenguin: Well, I'm a bionic penguin *shows blades, laser eyes, missiles, cloaking device, battle armor, etc.* I can cut through vandals like butter with these blades.
  • Jimbo: Nice. Go along, then.

Thekillerpenguin grabs a Block 17, activates rocket feet, and blasts off, leaving a gaping hole in the ceiling. He flies off to a secret vandal outpost where his scans have indicated a few accounts in a run-down WikiJail. He arrives within minutes.

  • Vandal Guard: I'm hearing rocket feet coming this way.

The Vandal Guard turns to investigates the disturbance, but before he knows it, he has a razor-sharp flipper-shaped blade in his abdomen. He falls down, as Thekillerpenguin laser-eyes his corpse to evade detection.

  • Thekillerpenguin: Let's see here, there are several Wikipedians in the torture chamber. Their talk pages and user pages are subject to random vandalism and high-speed page move vandalism (ouch). I'm gonna have to kill their captors.

Thekillerpenguin uses his cloaking device to become invisible. He then crawls through an air vent to reach the torture room. He pops the hatch open quietly and sneaks past the outer guards. He then gets up close and has a shocking revelation.

  • Thekillerpenguin: *thinks* The torturers are JaraxleArtemis and Mr. Treason! They are immune to death, as when they die, they hop into a new body! I'm gonna have to divert their attention.

Thekillerpenguin hacks the P.A., and sends a false alarm. The torturers and guards run to the alarm. Thekillerpenguin frees the torturees, and calls the Counter Vandalism Unit. The CVU arrive in riot gear.

  • Thekillerpenguin: WATCH OUT! ROUGE ADMIN ON THE LEFT!

A rouge admin kills all the CVU troopers, but Thekillerpenguin headshots him with his Block 17. JaraxleArtemis and Mr. Treason appear.

  • Mr. Treason: You've massacred tons of vandals! I WILL SUE YOU IN A COURT OF LAW IN TRENTON, NEW JERSEY!

Thekillerpenguin shoots both banned users in the, uh, spot below the abdomen, and evacuates the captured Wikipedians. As both banned users are in extreme pain, Thekillerpenguin spits a caustic gas at the two, who are promptly knocked out. Thekillerpenguin then makes a hasty offering to Zeus, who throws two thunderbolts at them. They are soon sent into a temporary coma.

  • Thekillerpenguin: Get out of here, fellow Wikipedians! I'll cover you!
  • Escaping Wikipedian: Aren't you coming to?
  • Thekillerpenguin: No, just get out of here *shoots a vandal*!

Thekillerpenguin stays behind to eliminate the horde of vandals going after the escaping Wikipedians. He fires the last volley of Block 17 shots he has, before throwing the weapon away in disgust. He then slaughters many more vandals with his blades and laser eyes, against an increasingly large force of vandals. He fights for several hours, slicing and burning away the vandals. As his energy levels are starting to get low, he grows tired, and is hit by a volley of attacks from JaraxleArtemis and Mr. Treason, sending his health to critical levels. Now, he is covered with a large amount of vandal blood. Vandals' blood is pouring across the flaming battlefield in giant rivers. Decapitated heads, mauled torsos, sliced limbs, and flesh bits of vandals cover the ground. Thekillerpenguin himself is bleeding heavily, kneeling on the ground, with huge numbers of arrows and bullets embedded in him in a Custer-esque style. Willy on Wheels arrives at the chamber, and all the vandals clear the space around the penguin. WoW walks up to Thekillerpenguin, pulls out a Desert Eagle, and points it at Thekillerpenguin's head.
Screen fades as the shot of a Desert Eagle is heard.

Scene 19: Escape[edit]

The Wikipedians are seen escaping through a secret passage. The Wikipedians scatter in all directions in the tunnels. Camera follows two of them.

  • Wikipedian 1: Where do we go now?
  • Wikipedian 2: (activates GPS) We're currently not far from the former Wikipedian stronghold of WP:ELEM.
  • Wikipedian 1: Great! Let's go there now!
  • Wikipedian 2: ...I said former Wikipedian stronghold.
  • Wikipedian 1: What happened to it?
  • Wikipedian 2: Dark, evil things. It was the corruption of the King Vandal.
  • Wikipedian 1: What do you mean?
  • Wikipedian 2: Look out! (dodges 2 vandal-bullets) (pause) The Wikipedians mined their sources too deeply.
  • Wikipedian 1: And released an unspeakable terror from ancient times?
  • Wikipedian 2: No, that's LOTR, isn't it?
  • Wikipedian 1: Oh yes, of course.
  • Wikipedian 2: They found WoW's lair.
  • Wikipedian 1: I thought that was under the Tampa Skyscraper?
  • Wikipedian 2: Yes, but the the only path is from WP:ELEM.
  • Wikipedian 1: Let's see what's going on there...

(camera moves upwards and then moves to the submarine)

Scene 20: WP:ELEM[edit]

  • Whoop whoop pull up: I just managed to make contact with two of the Wikipedians we sent. They're near WP:ELEM.
  • Mav: That brings back memories...
  • Whoop whoop pull up: They will be reporting everything they see there. All we have to do (produces receiver) (pause) is wait.
  • Mav: I have a bad feeling about this...I remember how we were forced to evacuate the area not too long ago.

Focus on Whoop whoop pull up's receiver

A message appears

  • Receiver: This is the WikiDoctor. I was just calling to let you know that your doctor's appointment has been confirmed.

Whoop whoop pull up flinches in anger, while Mav releases his breath. Another message appears."

  • Receiver: You will die!
  • Whoop whoop pull up: That sounds like WoW.
  • Mav: (shaking) Yes, yes it does.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: Stop being such a scaredy cat! He can't get us.
  • Mav: Hey! No personal attacks!
  • Whoop whoop pull up: It wasn't personal.

A message appears

  • Receiver: We found the lair! It's through WP:ELEM. Come quickly.
  • Mav: Hey, do you hear footsteps?
  • Whoop whoop pull up: That's nonsense!

A large quandry of pumas and dragons runs toward Whoop whoop pull up and Mav.

Scene 21: March of the WikiFauna[edit]

  • Mav: Why are they so distressed?
  • Whoop whoop pull up: Those are the WikiPumas and WikiDragons. They live by forming large articles, and the vandals have destroyed all their food source and take it away when they try to get more.
  • Mav: We need to help them!
  • Whoop whoop pull up: And we will, by destroying WoW. For now, get a ride!

Whoop whoop pull up jumps on a WikiPuma, whlie Mav grabs a WikiDragon

  • WikiPuma: Ow! What do you think you're doing?
  • Whoop whoop pull up: I'm helping you! If you give me a ride to WP:ELEM, we'll be able to get the articles back and you'll eat.
  • WikiPuma: Oh, I know a shortcut! My name's Brambleberry of RiverClan, by the way. Just getting it out there. I think you should keep me around. WikiPumas are great to have.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: (mumble) Yeah, until there's a flame war.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: WikiPumas have great hearing. Anyway, was that guy over there with you?
  • Whoop whoop pull up: Yeah, Mav.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Hey Mav! Follow me!
  • Mav: Did that WikiPuma just talk?
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Hey, we are extremely intelligent! I would encourage you to read our page, but it's deleted. I'm Brambleberry of RiverClan, by the way.
  • Mav: Emphasis on the bramble.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: No personal attacks!
  • Mav: It wasn't personal.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Well, Mav, that WikiDragon of yours is untamed and unnamed. Pretty much useless. Jump on me and I'll take you through the shortcut.

Scene 22: Into the Woods[edit]

  • Whoop whoop pull up: Hey, we're in the Meta!
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: This is actually the shortest way, but it's dangerous. That's why most Wikipedians just stick to their own country instead of crossing over to Meta-Wiki.
  • Mav: Why is it so dangerous?
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: You'll find out.

They walk in silence for a few hours, then Brambleberry of RiverClan passes through a sign that reads: WARNING! YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER THE "WHAT IS A TROLL?" WOODS.

  • Mav: We're entering the troll woods?
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Don't worry. I've gone this way a million times. Be quiet and try to avoid them. For the time being, resist the urge to stop them from attacking an article. Jimbo will deal with them when the war is over, but for now, they're like fleas compared to a man-eating spider.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: You're great at this simile thing.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Don't try to rival a WikiPuma in sarcasm, 'crat.

Mav notices a small user being attacked by a pack of trolls and jumps off of Brambleberry of RiverClan, running towards them. The trolls notice and find the group, running after them and prepared to attack.

  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: You don't listen much, do you?
  • Mav: Whoops.

Mav jumps back onto Brambleberry of RiverClan. The trolls charge, but Brambleberry of Riverclan manages to evade them by running at top speed. Soon, they reach WP:ELEM.

Scene 23: Brambleberry of RiverClan in WP:ELEM[edit]

  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Whew! You have really exhausted me. That is exactly why I told you to resist the urge to attack them!
  • Mav: But I saw them attacking a user, and I wanted to help!
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Yes, and in doing so you nearly got us all killed! Now get going! We have a lot of work to do.

They get to work creating and improving articles. Suddenly, a vandal pops up from behind a large rock.

  • Vandal: Vandalism 4 EVA! YEAH WILLY ON—GAAAAAHARGGHH!

He drops dead, bleeding from several dozen bullet wounds to his chest and abdomen. Whoop whoop pull up reholsters his FG 42.

  • Whoop whoop pull up: One down. About fifteen million to go.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: (releases a loud war shriek. Her claws and fangs seem to grow, as do those of the WikiPumas that run to her call.)
  • Whoop whoop pull up: How do you do that?
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Vocalization is one of our skills.
  • Mav: That's just creepy.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Come on, let's go deeper! We may be able to find the two Wikipedians.

After much time searching, they discover the two who found the way in, being bound against their will. One WikiPuma uses her razor-sharp claws to release them, setting off an alarm that brings all the vandals to the room.

  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Come, WikiPumas, and taste the blood of the vandals, for today, we FIGHT!

Scene 24: Fight of the Pumas[edit]

Battle of WP:ELEM
Part of Wikipedian/Uncyclopedian War
Cougar closeup.jpg
One of the deceased, a WikiPuma before leaping into action.
Date June 13, 2017 - June 14, 2017
Location Under WP:ELEM
Result Wikipedian/WikiPuma victory
Belligerents
Wikipedia
Paw-print.svg WikiPumas
Uncyclopedia
Commanders and leaders

Whoop whoop pull up

Paw-print.svg Brambleberry of RiverClan
Willy on Wheels
Strength
4 users
Paw-print.svg30,000,000 WikiPumas
15,000,000 vandals
Casualties and losses
1 user killed
Paw-print.svg 5,000,000 WikiPumas killed
Paw-print.svg5,000,000 WikiPumas injured
12,500,000 vandals killed

Brambleberry of RiverClan charges into battle, attacking three vandals at once and killing them instantly, while the others of her kind follow suit. Whoop whoop pull up and Mav begin shooting almost immediately, while the two users who were previously tied up hide in a corner with no weapons. Whoop whoop pull up tosses them longswords. A vandal jumps up and rides a WikiPuma, who immediately starts bucking like a horse.

  • Vandal 3: Yee-haw!

Vandal 3 is shot. Brambleberry of RiverClan comes running up to Whoop whoop pull up.

  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: It seems like the vandals follow a strict formation: They all have numbers which are stitched into the sleeves of their shirt. The top ten are part of Willy on Wheels' council, and they hold the most power and information. Vandal 1 is his right-hand man, basically. Whatever you do, if you see Vandal 1, do not kill him. We can use him.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: Got it. Vandal 1.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Good. And if you do get him, don't keep fighting. Get out of the fray and start questioning him immediately. If he clams up or is out of information, kill him.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: You're great at battle strategy.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: WikiPumas are good at many things.

Brambleberry of RiverClan leaps away, tearing at Vandals 6 and 7. Meanwhile, numbers 4, 5, and 9 are lying dead on the ground in a pool of their own blood. That leaves 2, 8, 10, and obviously 1.

  • Mav: Help! Help!
  • Whoop whoop pull up: Mav!
  • Mav: Help! They've got me! The Vandals got me!
  • Whoop whoop pull up: I'm coming, Mav!

Whoop whoop pull up runs to where Mav is. The soldier is pinned to the wall where Vandal 2, a 300-pound brute who's all muscle, is preparing to stab. Whoop whoop pull up shoots Vandal 2 a dozen times until the warrior finally falls, breathing but wounded. Brambleberry of RiverClan tears out his throat.

  • Whoop whoop pull up: Are you okay?
  • Mav: Yeah, just kind of startled.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: I'm fine, thanks for asking.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: You weren't in imminent danger.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Did you see that Vandal 2 guy? He could have attacked me while pretending to be down. You don't know that.

A loud, long, yowl is heard.

  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: My brethren!

She jumps off and finds WikiPumas being cut down left and right by Vandal 8, the only female of the council. She is a red-haired young woman with razor-sharp teeth and anorexia. Suddenly, Wikipedian 1 attacks, throwing his longsword and managing somehow to stab her in the back. Then Vandal 10 cuts his throat, and Brambleberry jumps, knocking Vandal 10 down and scratching at his chest until he stops breathing.

  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: That leaves Vandal 1. I think that the other WikiPumas can handle the non-council members.

Vandal 1 stops as he hears his name. Brambleberry of RiverClan sights him and leaps, grabbing him by his shirt collar and dragging him out of the battle, right outside of WP:ELEM.

  • Whoop whoop pull up: Okay, vandal, we've got a few questions for you.

Scene 25: The Questioning[edit]

  • Whoop whoop pull up: Okay, vandal, how's it going?
  • Vandal 1: Let me go!
  • Whoop whoop pull up: (points a gun) Not until you answer our questions. First, where is Willy on Wheels?
  • Vandal 1: In Uncylopolis.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: And where is that?
  • Vandal 1: You know it as Tampa City.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: Does he have any weapons of mass destruction?
  • Vandal 1: Of course not! He's a vandal, not a terrorist.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: Does he have any weapons of mass destruction towards Wikipedia, not Earth?
  • Vandal 1: Oh, that's a different story.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: (Through Vandal 1's shirt) Urlururvyurburwururfurur?
  • Vandal 1: What did she say?
  • Mav: I believe she was asking how long you've worked for Willy on Wheels?
  • Vandal 1: Emperor Willy has had me in his service for thirty years.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: Then how come you only look twenty-five?
  • Vandal 1: Because he created a potion that stops your aging completely! That's how he's going to survive. He's going to keep putting up a fight until Jimbo's too old and gives up or drops dead.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: Okay, I think that's all the information we need.
  • Vandal 1: So you're going to let me go now?
  • Whoop whoop pull up: Oh you're going. Straight to hell!

Brambleberry of RiverClan lets go and jumps out of the way. Before Vandal 1 knows what's going on, he gets shot through the temple.

  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: To The King's Realm from here?
  • Whoop whoop pull up: What?
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Tampa City. All the WikiFauna have different names for it.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: In that case, yes.
  • Voice: Wait! I need to come with you!

Scene 26: The End[edit]

A man that looks reminiscent of Jimbo Wales walks slowly up. His pants and shirt are torn at the knee and elbow, and his shirt is unbuttoned. He has no shoes or socks, and he walks with a limp, possibly because of a bullethole wound in his lower leg. His beard is much thicker than the Jimbo Wales beard we know, but to the Wikipedians and WikiPumas, they know that it must be him. Wales has a bowie knife in one hand and a Colt in the other. The Wikipedians get down on their knees, and the WikiPumas bow their heads.

  • Jimbo Wales: Get up.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: What did you say, master?
  • Jimbo Wales: Get...up.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Why?
  • Jimbo Wales: Look at me. I'm no better than a newbie. I've been mugged, beaten, and attacked to the point of near-death. It took me forever to find some other users, but Whoop whoop, Brambleberry, I was looking for you two. The former, a newly minted bureaucrat who has more than proved his worth at the job. The latter, a WikiPuma who operates on the same level as a human, and is the commander and president of her species. You should be running Wikipedia, not I.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: You're wrong, Jimbo. You had a bad run. It happens to us. Willy's army is strong because they do not age. That's their plan. We'll get you new clothes, we'll let you rest in the Appalachians, and when you've fully recuperated, we'll storm the new tower and destroy them.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: We might be able to get some more countries on our side. The American Union, the Irish Empire, the New Egyptian Kingdom. With them, as well as Wikipedians and WikiPumas, there's no way we can lose.
  • Jimbo Wales: You really think so?
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Of course. The Appalachians are very healing. Trust me.
  • Jimbo Wales: Then what are we waiting for?

The camera pans away slowly, revealing the whole world, which is pieced together like Wikipedia.

  • Narrator: And so the third chapter ends, and the new one begins. And yes, in the future Ireland becomes an empire. It covers seven-eighths of Europe, the other one-eighth being part of Russia. You counted the Irish out? Well they are stronger than you thought. Well, I guess you'll just see for yourself sooner or later. Good-bye.



The End...For Now

Main End Credits[edit]

  • Directed By: Stephen Spielberg
  • Produced By: Tim Burton
  • Executive Producer: Wikipedia
  • Musical Score: John Williams, A.R. Rahman
  • Written By: Whoop whoop pull up, Brambleberry of RiverClan, Double sharp (until scene 17)
  • Stunt Coordinator:
  • Special Effects:
  • Filmed by:
  • Cast: Listed above
  • Music: Listed below

Dedicated to Jimbo Wales

Soundtrack[edit]

Wikipedia I: The Movie Wikipedia II: The Users Strike Back Wikipedia III: Revenge of Jimbo Wikipedia IV: Attack of the Vandals Wikipedia V: Brambleberry's Journey Wikipedia VI: The Last Editor
Wikipedia: The Musical

Movies in bold are completed; movies in italics are still under construction.

Spinoffs:

User:Double sharp/Wikipedia III: Revenge of Jimbo