Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/USS Kearsarge (BB-5)

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Promoted. HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 18:56, 9 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

USS Kearsarge (BB-5)

Nominator(s): Inkbug (talk)

I am nominating this article for A-Class review because it has recently passed GAN, and I believe it meets the criteria. Inkbug (talk) 11:22, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Source comment: no citations to Alden, Yarsinske, "Two Admirals in the East", or "Go to Meet the Prince". Nikkimaria (talk) 14:33, 16 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The Alden ref was in the article before I started working on it, so I left it in, but I removed the rest. Inkbug (talk) 07:18, 17 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Support ~~Comments~~

This is a little awkward: In 1920 she was converted to a crane ship, in 1941 she was renamed to Crane Ship No. 1, and she served in that capacity until she was sold for scrap in 1955. Perhaps something like: "She was converted into a crane ship in 1920, renamed in 1941 and sold for scrap in 1955" left out a few bits, but you should be able to get the drift.
- Is it better now? Inkbug (talk) 09:42, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Scrap, Congress should be linked in the lede.
- Done Inkbug (talk) 09:33, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Kearsarge had two double turrets, with two 13-inch (330 mm) guns and two 8-inch (203 mm) guns each, stacked in two levels. Still not happy with this phrasing, although I'm still at a loss how to better express things.
How many engines? Normally for ships of this period, it was one engine per propeller shaft.
- I hope it is clearer now. Inkbug (talk) 09:33, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Not fond of the phrase "harveyized steel waterline armor belt" Can you rephrase? Waterline armor belt of Harvey armor, or somesuch?
- Is this better? Inkbug (talk) 09:33, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"for the first time" is redundant because we already know that she's just been completed.
- Done Inkbug (talk) 09:33, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I believe that no spaces are supposed to be used in front or behind long em dashes, but check WP:DASH to be sure.
- There aren't any em dashes in the article (only en dashes, which do need spaces around them). Inkbug (talk) 09:33, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Delete the "the" in this: met the King Carlos I
- Done Inkbug (talk) 09:33, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Hyhenate 13 inch gun as a compound adjective.
- What do you mean? Is this in the infobox or in the main text? Inkbug (talk) 09:33, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
More detail on role in Great White Fleet needed. Places visited, etc.
- Done Inkbug (talk) 11:50, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Did she do anything in Vera Cruz other than drop off the Marines?
- Nothing that I know of. Inkbug (talk) 09:42, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Why all the "and"s? such as Indiana and Alabama, Savannah and Chicago, and Pennsylvania.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 03:37, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Done Inkbug (talk) 09:33, 19 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

~~Comments~~Support
- No dab links [1] (no action required).
- External links all check out [2] (no action required).
- Images lack Alt Text so you might consider adding [3] (suggestion only - not an ACR requirement).
  - Done although I would be grateful if someone can check the text I added, and tell me if I did it correctly. Inkbug (talk) 06:10, 7 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- The Citation Check Tool reveals no issues with reference consolidation (no action required).
- Images are all PD or licenced and seem appropriate to the article (no action required).
- The Earwig Tool reveals no issues with copyright violation or close paraphrasing (only a wiki mirror) [4] (no action required).
- A couple of duplicate links need to be removed per WP:REPEATLINK:
  - Caribbean Sea
  - Hornet
    - Done Inkbug (talk) 06:02, 7 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- This seems a little redundant to me: "Her keel was laid down by the Newport News Shipbuilding Company of Newport News, Virginia...", maybe just "Her keel was laid down by the Newport News Shipbuilding Company of Virginia..."?
  - Done Inkbug (talk) 06:02, 7 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- "...sponsored by Mrs. Herbert Winslow...", perhaps wife of Herbert Winslow" instead?
  - Done Inkbug (talk) 06:02, 7 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- "With over fifty years of service, she is the US battleship with the longest service time." Tense seems a little off here. The ship was sold for scrap so I assume no longer exists.
  - Done changed to "was". Inkbug (talk) 06:02, 7 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- " As flagship of the European Squadron, she sailed from Sandy Hook on 3 June, on her way to Kiel, Germany." What year? As its a new section I think this needs to be clarified pls.
  - Done Inkbug (talk) 06:02, 7 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- This is repetitive: "On 18 August 1918 Kearsarge rescued 26 survivors of the Norwegian barque Nordhav which had been sunk by U-117, bringing the survivors to Boston." Specifically use of "survivors" twice in the same sentence. Consider instead "On 18 August 1918 Kearsarge rescued 26 survivors of the Norwegian barque Nordhav which had been sunk by U-117, bringing them to Boston..."
  - Done Inkbug (talk) 06:02, 7 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- The ship's post World War I career is covered fairly lightly, but I'm assuming this is due to the fact that it did little of note. Can anything further be added or is this reflective of the literature (happy to strike cmt if it is)?
  - I'm not an expert, but I didn't see more in my sources. Inkbug (talk) 06:02, 7 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- In the references: Alden, John D. (1989). American Steel Navy: A Photographic History of the U.S. Navy from the Introduction of the Steel Hull in 1883 to the Cruise of the Great White Fleet. Annapolis, Maryland: Naval Institute Press. ISBN 0-87021-248-6. This isn't used as a short citation so should be moved to a "Further reading" section.
  - Done Inkbug (talk) 06:02, 7 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Otherwise this article looks in good shape to me. Anotherclown (talk) 00:18, 7 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - Added my support now. Anotherclown (talk) 07:34, 7 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    - Thanks! Inkbug (talk) 08:29, 7 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Support Comment: generally looks good to my uneducated eyes. I made a couple of minor tweaks and had a look at the image licences. Most seem fine, but I think that "File:BB05 Kearsarge BB06 Kentucky USN photo www.navsource.org.jpg", probably needs a date, and, if possible, the specific url that links directly to the image in the navsource website added to the description page. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 11:59, 8 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Done Inkbug (talk) 19:06, 8 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments:

"With over fifty years of service, she was the US battleship with the longest service time.": At the time, or still today? And, reading quickly, I don't see this mentioned in the text. - Dank (push to talk) 15:54, 9 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Done Moved to main body and reworded. Inkbug (talk) 17:45, 9 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"This was claimed to be a problem": Although I don't think the style we've developed requires in-text attribution for everything that even might be an opinion in historical narratives, "claimed" probably does require it.
- Done Inkbug (talk) 17:45, 9 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"))": avoid these, throughout
- Done Inkbug (talk) 17:45, 9 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"She was christened on 24 March 1898, on the same day as her sister, the Kentucky. Kearsarge was christened by the wife": Four things here (see if you can spot all four!) ... none is wrong but I think we prefer it this way: She was christened on 24 March 1898 (the same day as her sister ship, Kentucky) by the wife - Dank (push to talk) 16:03, 9 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Done Inkbug (talk) 17:45, 9 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Kearsarge became flagship of the North Atlantic Squadron, sailing down the Atlantic seaboard and in the Caribbean Sea. As flagship of the European Squadron, she sailed from": This will make some readers pause to wonder if the article contradicts itself, or if she was somehow flagship of two squadrons. "Reassigned as flagship ..." is one fix. - Dank (push to talk) 16:07, 9 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Done Inkbug (talk) 17:45, 9 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I got down to Service history. I see this has already been listed for promotion; gratz. - Dank (push to talk) 16:07, 9 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Thank you! Inkbug (talk) 17:45, 9 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.